Where are you from? Is it an insult?

Off the top of my head too, there are focus groups that raise issues surround maternity care for women who are black too and this is because statistically they are at much higher risk of death than white women in the UK. This is for a variety of reason. Why would anyone be offended or upset about that? White women don't need to be offended as statistically it looks like their care is better anyway. Improving lives and outcomes of others doesn't mean your life becomes harder

Callistemon21

^"The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence^

The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence

THE INCIDENT on TUESDAY, at a reception ON GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

It's worth reminding everyone that the reception was intended to focus on worldwide violence against women and children, many of whom are suffering abuse as I post this.

The problem, of course, is that the world/media/populace (maybe all, maybe just bits of them) are waking up to the problem of racism in and around the royal family. So the sh*t is hitting the fan, with each incidence.

It isn't going to go away (not this particular occurence which must be reaching its sell-by date now, just in general) until it is dealt with. Each time something happens, it'll flare up again.

They need to change. They need to be seen to be changing. To be taking active steps. Not reactive to each little event. They've tried to ignore it for too long but by not changing while the world around them has, they've created a bigger problem.

Racism, discrimination and just plain ignorance are a huge problem in this country and women who face those things on top of issues faced by women in general need a different kind of support

Exactly "Vegansrock"! Why was Lady Hussey, with her 50 years of "diplomacy" attending these Royal events so insistent on trying to learn more? It was hardly the place to start having in-depth discussions about the woman's heritage. I would back off if the questioning became uncomfortable. It is just good manners.

Spot on, "Growstuff"!

Callistemon21

nanna8

Lots of people ask that question here all the time. Colour makes no difference whatsoever . I think ethnic backgrounds are fascinating and I would never be ashamed of mine and I am pretty sure my friends of Asian and African ethnicity are proud of theirs,too. The church I used to attend was extremely proud that they had people from53 different ethnic origins and we used to fly flags from each individual country once a year and have a big scrumptious dinner with dishes from most of the countries. They even got bangers and mash from me once and my other half produced Lancashire hotpot.

Lots of people ask that question here all the time

I mentioned that too, nanna8
In fact, it's usually an introductory topic of conversation in Australia.

The word
indigenous
springs to mind in relation to that sentence Callistemon21 difference in history

Lollin

Callistemon21

nanna8

Lots of people ask that question here all the time. Colour makes no difference whatsoever . I think ethnic backgrounds are fascinating and I would never be ashamed of mine and I am pretty sure my friends of Asian and African ethnicity are proud of theirs,too. The church I used to attend was extremely proud that they had people from53 different ethnic origins and we used to fly flags from each individual country once a year and have a big scrumptious dinner with dishes from most of the countries. They even got bangers and mash from me once and my other half produced Lancashire hotpot.

Lots of people ask that question here all the time

I mentioned that too, nanna8
In fact, it's usually an introductory topic of conversation in Australia.

The word
indigenous
springs to mind in relation to that sentence Callistemon21 difference in history

I know that too Lollin
No need to patronise me, thanks.

I won't start explaining as it would take too long

Not my intention as I do wonder if every section finds that it is usually an introductory topic of conversation in Australia. As you can probably tell, I’ve never been.

icanhandthemback

Actually, DaisyAnne, you didn't. Telling me you are probing is not an answer to that question. Nor did you answer my questions in my second post which implied nothing beyond a interest in why you would think this lady is an "extremist".

It was my answer icanhandthemback. I am not inclined to answer insulting suggestions and you may not dictate what I chose to say or which parts of your question I chose to answer.

If you mean do I think the complainant is an extremist. She seems to belong to a single-issue pressure group who are, but I really can't say. I don't know. We are all still finding out.

Surely it's the kind of question to steer clear of, just to ensure one doesn't offend?
I believe it's very unpleasant to keep pushing the point, and whatever her name is must know that.

Come on, let’s call this out for what it is…racism. Even if it’s an old lady, steeped in ignorance, even if she didn’t mean it as such, it is still racist. She probably didn’t know better having learned from the likes of Prince Philip or Boris Johnson but even so.

MissAdventure

Surely it's the kind of question to steer clear of, just to ensure one doesn't offend?
I believe it's very unpleasant to keep pushing the point, and whatever her name is must know that.

Exactly

This has been posted on the BBC news website

Here is the full conversation, as recounted by Ms Fulani:

Lady SH: Where are you from?

Me: Sistah Space.

SH: No, where do you come from?

Me: We're based in Hackney.

SH: No, what part of Africa are you from?

Me: I don't know, they didn't leave any records.

SH: Well, you must know where you're from, I spent time in France. Where are you from?

Me: Here, the UK.

SH: No, but what nationality are you?

Me: I am born here and am British.

SH: No, but where do you really come from, where do your people come from?

Me: 'My people', lady, what is this?

SH: Oh I can see I am going to have a challenge getting you to say where you're from. When did you first come here?

Me: Lady! I am a British national, my parents came here in the 50s when...

SH: Oh, I knew we'd get there in the end, you're Caribbean!

Me: No lady, I am of African heritage, Caribbean descent and British nationality.

SH: Oh so you're from...

Also this is from Sistah Space's website, it doesn't sound at all extreme. It is tailored support

AT SISTAH SPACE, WE SUPPORT WOMEN AND FAMILIES AFFECTED BY DOMESTIC ABUSE WHILST ALSO ENSURING THAT CULTURAL FACTORS ARE NOT ONLY CONSIDERED BUT UNDERSTOOD. THROUGH OUR WORK WE AIM TO ENSURE THAT CULTURAL BARRIERS AND BIASES ARE REMOVED AND THAT OUR SERVICE USERS ARE GIVEN EQUAL SUPPORT FROM US AND ANY OTHER AGENCY THEY GO TO FOR HELP. WE ARE EXPERTS ON THE INTERSECTIONALITY OF RACISM AND GENDER BASED VIOLENCE AND ARE WORKING TO IMPROVE THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN & GIRLS SECTOR AND END IGNORANCE AROUND THE BLACK EXPERIENCE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.

PROVIDING SUPPORT FOR THE VARIOUS DIFFERENT TYPES OF DOMESTIC ABUSE THROUGH ADVOCACY, WE AT SISTAH SPACE OPERATE A VOLUNTEER RUN SUPPORT SERVICE, FOOD BANK AND A VERY UNIQUE CHARITY SHOP IN WHICH EVERYTHING IS NEW OR UNUSED.

WE ALSO DELIVER TRAINING FOCUSING ON CULTURAL COMPETENCY AND BEST PRACTICE DERIVED FROM OUR OWN VERIFIED RESEARCH.

How awful.

You can see why the organisation has been set up as this thread has clearly demonstrated plenty of the issues women who are black, face when needing professional support

Quokka

Come on, let’s call this out for what it is…racism. Even if it’s an old lady, steeped in ignorance, even if she didn’t mean it as such, it is still racist. She probably didn’t know better having learned from the likes of Prince Philip or Boris Johnson but even so.

Exactly. All the justifying and explaining of how and why this isn't racism is racism apologism.

Early on in my husband’s military career I was once asked by an officer’s wife where I was from. I responded with ‘Liverpool’ she responded with ‘ poor you’ and gave me a little pat on the arm.

If only Lady H had asked about Sistah Space. She should have known the purpose of the event and that why the guests were invited was to highlight their work with abused women. Wasn't she even a little bit curious about that issue?

If I asked someone'where do you come from' I would be thinking in terms of where they lived in the UK and whether they had a had a long/short/easy/difficult journey to the place we were meeting each other.

I think people of colour, born in this country, get fed up with the question as they feel British and that comment make them feel 'other' and I support them in finding that offensive. As a 'white' person I do not know how it must feel to be singled out all the time as 'black' and therefor different and in some subtle way not belonging.
I don't think people mean to be racist but its something to become aware of.
I have also asked people with a foreign accent where they have come from...and I stress that point.. they have a foreign accent.

I ask it as a way of trying to make them feel welcome and that local people take an interest in them and their culture but in this current overly PC time, perhaps that's wrong and that's sad.

I am half-Irish. My mother grew up in Bermondsey where signs saying 'No Irish, No children, No dogs' were endemic.

I am prepared to tell anyone who asks, where my family come from, where in Ireland and when we came to the UK. I think the story of immigration is always fascinating. and I am proud that that story is in my past. it does not diminish my Britishness in any way.

I think we should be clear that asking someone where they come from, if for instance they have a foreign accent, is perfectly fine.

If they tell you they are British, and are from Hackney, don't then ask them where they are really from. They've told you. They are British, from Hackney.

If you keep asking them, it shows that you think they are not really British. "No, where are you REALLY from?" There might be any number of reasons why you think that. But unless you are an immigration official on the job, it doesn't matter. They've told you they are British, end of. You don't badger them and make them think you don't believe them.

why did she mention she'd been to France?

Daisymae

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

And as someone else has said she wasn't exactly dressed like she came from Hackney so it's a valid question. If I went in that outfit I would expect people to be curious about my background.