Where are you from? Is it an insult?

So, after asking the first time, this person didn't have the grace to realise that it wasn't something to keep on about?

Poorly educated, I'd guess.

Philippa111

I think people of colour, born in this country, get fed up with the question as they feel British and that comment make them feel 'other' and I support them in finding that offensive. As a 'white' person I do not know how it must feel to be singled out all the time as 'black' and therefor different and in some subtle way not belonging.
I don't think people mean to be racist but its something to become aware of.
I have also asked people with a foreign accent where they have come from...and I stress that point.. they have a foreign accent.

I ask it as a way of trying to make them feel welcome and that local people take an interest in them and their culture but in this current overly PC time, perhaps that's wrong and that's sad.

Yes, my soon to be son-in-law does get a bit weary about being asked where he's from. He replies with his public school version of a Mancunian accent, smiles sweetly and asks them where they're from. My daughter is pondering what surname to use after they get married because she's witnessed the casual racism her boyfriend experiences.

volver

In my view, Lady Susan committed a racist act. Because she treated a woman of colour differently to how she would have treated a white woman.

You may disagree with my view. (But you'd be wrong 🤷🏼)

How do you know she wouldn't ask a white woman who was dressed to reflect her heritage the same questions?

I'm only insulted if someone asks where I'm from then starts mimicking what they think should be my accent.
It happened not long ago.

Callistemon21

I'm only insulted if someone asks where I'm from then starts mimicking what they think should be my accent.
It happened not long ago.

Did you rush home and type out the conversation verbatim for Twitter?

Lyng17

volver

In my view, Lady Susan committed a racist act. Because she treated a woman of colour differently to how she would have treated a white woman.

You may disagree with my view. (But you'd be wrong 🤷🏼)

How do you know she wouldn't ask a white woman who was dressed to reflect her heritage the same questions?

Would she have hounded her?

Would she have questioned the fact she was British, after she'd been told she was British?

Would she have asked when she came here, after being told she was British?

By the way, it wasn't a "valid" question. If someone tells you they are British, from Hackney, they could be dressed in anything they like. It's none of your business why.

There’s a woman relating her experience of Ms Headley/Fulani. When she went to her ‘charity’ for help she was treated appallingly - why? Not black enough apparently. Her mother’s white.

Well well. Now there’s some genuine racism for you.

That doesnt excuse whatserface, though.
Lady Susan.

tickingbird

There’s a woman relating her experience of Ms Headley/Fulani. When she went to her ‘charity’ for help she was treated appallingly - why? Not black enough apparently. Her mother’s white.

Well well. Now there’s some genuine racism for you.

Got the proof of that? Proof that isn't uncorroborated Twitter ranting, that is.

Six of one half a dozen of the other.

tickingbird

There’s a woman relating her experience of Ms Headley/Fulani. When she went to her ‘charity’ for help she was treated appallingly - why? Not black enough apparently. Her mother’s white.

Well well. Now there’s some genuine racism for you.

I'd be interested to read the woman's account - do you have a link?

tickingbird

There’s a woman relating her experience of Ms Headley/Fulani. When she went to her ‘charity’ for help she was treated appallingly - why? Not black enough apparently. Her mother’s white.

Well well. Now there’s some genuine racism for you.

Do you refer to the Royal Family as the Windsors/Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's?

Got the proof of that? Proof that isn't uncorroborated Twitter ranting, that is.

She’s black and she says that’s what happened. That is proof enough and to dispute it is racist. That’s how it works!!

Ah OK.

Is it the woman who ranted about 4 different charities on Twitter and said that none of them helped her? The woman who said she has an Irish mother and that's why they all hate her? The woman who said even her adopted parents had let her down?

Just wondering.

Ngozi Fulani was born Marlene Headley in Britain of Caribbean background. She seems to be one who has a hair trigger where the subject of her racial category is concerned and Lady Hussey walked right into the pitfall of questioning her - albeit innocently. Ms. Fulani was dressed in a style that was redolent of Africa and has a name that is not typically European. Lady Hussey should not have pursued the matter quite as she did, but I would hardly call it offensive let alone abusive - merely insensitive. Storm in a teacup in the real world.
I have had an experience that gave me a sense of what she may have felt, sensitized as she must be by exposure to casual racism - and some not so casual - for years. I am white Caucasian, brown eyed with dark curly hair - nothing unusual but I was presumed in an inconsequential conversation to be Jewish by a lecturer at college. He meant no offence at all, and none was taken, but the surprise I felt was far greater than I would have expected. I felt alienated from the majority of other students in this man's eyes. He could have assumed I was many ethnicities or faiths, it wasn't to do with being thought Jewish. It was the knowledge that this chap, and maybe others whose views are unknown, had segregated me from the 'norm' based on the most flimsy assumptions. Tolerance and understanding are the foundations of good manners.

tickingbird

^Got the proof of that? Proof that isn't uncorroborated Twitter ranting, that is.^

She’s black and she says that’s what happened. That is proof enough and to dispute it is racist. That’s how it works!!

When people of colour say they've experienced racism, yes, we believe them. Just like we should believe women when they say they've been raped.

I still don't know why one would assume that a question about where your family originally came from is racist. I have friends from all over the world and many of them look or sound very "un-English", though many are now British nationals. I don't believe that any of them have any objections to people asking about where their families originally came from, indeed most of them enjoy speaking to people about their background, be it African, Australasian or whatever.
I also have British friends with regional accents who get asked the same questions by non-native English speakers which they find very entertaining.
As I said before SH appears to have been heavy handed, but she has been speaking to people from many backgrounds through all of her life and does not appear to have been in trouble for her actions before.

People here are often up in arms about being called "love" or what they consider ageist, sexist treatment.

I wonder how many would have been quite happy to be cross questioned by lady S.

.

Callistemon21

^"The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence^

The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence

THE INCIDENT on TUESDAY, at a reception ON GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

It's worth reminding everyone that the reception was intended to focus on worldwide violence against women and children, many of whom are suffering abuse as I post this.

Yes

A RECEPTION. Not a lecture. Not a symposium. Not a learning event.

A reception. To focus on congratulation those that do good work.

Tea and cakes.

Not sorting out how to stop the issues.

In other words- a party

Summerlove

Callistemon21

"The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence

The incident on Tuesday, at a reception on gender-based violence

THE INCIDENT on TUESDAY, at a reception ON GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

It's worth reminding everyone that the reception was intended to focus on worldwide violence against women and children, many of whom are suffering abuse as I post this.

Yes

A RECEPTION. Not a lecture. Not a symposium. Not a learning event.

A reception. To focus on congratulation those that do good work.

Tea and cakes.

Not sorting out how to stop the issues.

In other words- a party

Partygate again……

Consider this. If an English person turns up wearing a kilt and a sporran with a badge saying their name is Hamish McTavish wouldn’t you think they were Scottish and ask them which part of the Highlands they were from?

When people of colour say they've experienced racism, yes, we believe them. Just like we should believe women when they say they've been raped.

Exactly why the woman who claims Ngozi Fulani treated her appallingly because she wasn’t black enough HAS to be believed. Volver seems to think her claims are spurious. No wonder some defend this hypocritical behaviour - like to like and all that.

Consider this too. The charity is in support of abused women of Caribbean and African heritage. Not all Caribbean and African women are black. Ngozi therefore MUST question where their people are from as she obviously wouldn’t take a white woman at face value.

Her charity does seem dodgy - she’s the only employee. I hope it comes under very close scrutiny. BLM hasn’t exactly come up smelling of roses.

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