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Is it friendlier Up North?

(157 Posts)
DaisyAlice Wed 07-Dec-22 13:40:40

Today's UK Loose Women programme decided that people are more friendly in the North than South. I live in the South of the South, lucky enough to have a view of The Isle of Wight. I'm always surprised that some media only consider that London is South. I find people very friendly where I live, as does my friend who lives in Leeds. Surely, there are friendly people everywhere.

M0nica Fri 09-Dec-22 19:32:40

The trouble with villages where everyone knows everybody, is that they form closed groups that do not welcome newcomers, Fine if you are an insider, tough if you aren't.

I have led a peripatetic life, my father was in the army and we were always on the move. It mean I have lived in England north and south, plus several south east Asian countries and several European countries.

The only unfriendly place I have lived in is the Flemish region of Belgium. I will not burden you with descriptions of their constructive unfriendliness and unkindness, but I was not the only one to find them signally unfriendly.

I have had no problem at all anywhere in the UK.

alig99 Fri 09-Dec-22 19:37:01

septimia, that’s a ridiculous statement. I am, like a lots of other people that live in the’South’ happy to strike up a conversation with other people first, otherwise nobody would speak to anyone!

On another note this kind of divisive conversation makes me so mad🤬🤬🤬🤬, it’s totally unnecessary and doesn’t achieve anything. To me it’s as bad as making racist comment.

I’m another South Coater with a view of the IOW🛳⛵️

JuBut Fri 09-Dec-22 21:08:21

I'm from the North East of England and were very friendly. People from the North will talk to everyone, in a shopping queue, walking along. Some southern people are more quiet, reserved, nose in the air, but when I've visited my sister in law in Hampshire, there are loads of very friendly people. Keep being friendly smile

Tamayra Fri 09-Dec-22 21:44:57

Might be friendlier But I heard from a friend up there just today that NHS service is much worse than down South.

ElaineI Fri 09-Dec-22 21:53:46

MacCavity2

*DaisyAlice and Merlotgran* that’s three of us now with a view of the Isle of Wight. I’ve lived in London and Kent but this is the friendliest place I have had the good luck to live. The New Forest and the sea. Wonderful.

Did my Midwifery training on the Isle of Wight. It was great. Drove all over as my friend and I had Yamaha 90 motorbikes. So much different scenery on a smallish island. The midwifery classroom overlooked the prisons and we used to wave to the Camphill chaps who were allowed to tend the verges on the roads. We had a flat in Cowes which overlooked the water and we could see cruise ships sailing out. Fond memories.

veejay Fri 09-Dec-22 23:14:20

I have loved in the North all my life.in various places
First plsce.West riding.too friendly ,neighbours popping in any time never knovked.didn't like that.
Moved to a Morecambe after my divorce.people couldn't do enough for you.even when i was looking for a place to live after living at parents people would actually let me know if they had seen anywhere advertised ,made a lot of friends
Moved to the East coast,just the opposite..
I have loved here now for about 50 years and in this house for 40 years.don't know many people even now
When I first moved here ,my sister loved here we went out together and got looks because we didn't come from here
I will make conversation with anyone.but that's as far as it goes
When I first moved here I was told people weren't accepted so easily from away.
I see people when walking my dog and made a few friends to chat to and that's it

veejay Fri 09-Dec-22 23:15:32

Sorry a few typos.hope you can understand them

OnwardandUpward Sat 10-Dec-22 00:22:58

IrishDancing

In my experience (I have moved, gradually, from Hertfordshire to the north east of Scotland) there is no difference in friendliness or helpfulness. We were in London recently and everybody we met was lovely. Only on Skye and in Snowdon have we ever felt out of place - people quickly lapsed into Gaelic and the Welsh language when we entered shops.

Re Skye and Snowdon, I do think that's extremely rude , very pointed and poor customer service to lapse into a foreign language when people come into your shop just because they are not local. I've experienced similar when going into shops run by people who speak Asian languages.

It just feels so rude and unnecessary when you know they can speak English. It feels like they deliberately make you feel uncomfortable and only want your money. I do avoid shops like this when I can and prefer to spend money where someone will have the decency to be polite and have good customer service.

nanna8 Sat 10-Dec-22 00:26:57

When a group of us used to visit north Wales that always happened, we just laughed it off. I didn’t bother telling them I was probably more Welsh than they were. You always get a few ignoramuses.

OnwardandUpward Sat 10-Dec-22 00:37:55

It is irritating and rude when you go to Wales on holiday and the locals decide to only talk to you in Welsh after they know you're from England. My Mother in law only went to Wales once and she said " they want you to stand at the border and throw your money in" . Well it does feel a bit like that and since we visited Laugharne, I am in no hurry to return.

We live in a Southern village where we'll never be accepted because we were not born here. Dog walkers are the only (friendly) people I talk to, apart from colleagues.

OnwardandUpward Sat 10-Dec-22 00:42:43

I would like to live where I was born so no one can try to make me feel I don't belong anymore.

nanna8 Sat 10-Dec-22 03:55:37

Tasmania was like that when we lived there. You had to have lived there at least 50 years to be a ‘local’. That was in the 1980s though and I think things are better now, at least I hope so.

Gundy Sat 10-Dec-22 07:49:40

There are Scrooges everywhere and Lovers everywhere you turn. Find your Tribe. Be happy!
Cheers!
USA Gundy

Nanatoone Sat 10-Dec-22 07:52:34

I find this conversation interesting but really annoying as well. People are the same the world over and reading some of these comments I do feel so sorry for immigrants to our Island. How on earth do they feel when we don’t feel like we belong in various places in our own country? I do know that I felt very glad to be home (back in the UK, not where I came from in Devon) after living abroad with the RAF as I understood everything and this gave me insight into how difficult it is to settle into a new country rather than a new county.

overthehill Sat 10-Dec-22 09:28:17

He he

youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4

Purplepoppies Sat 10-Dec-22 11:03:04

I'm a southerner living in Scotland.
I was met with some hostility in my public facing job initially, people who would refuse to be served by me etc.
But on the whole people are friendly.
I don't find people more or less friendly here in comparison.
I have met nice people everywhere I have travelled.
Maybe it's about your own attitude to life 🤷🏻‍♀️
The sweeping generalisations about whole populations is ridiculous really.

HeavenLeigh Sat 10-Dec-22 11:19:17

I would say it is, but I’m a friendly person anyway and I speak to everyone.

OnwardandUpward Sat 10-Dec-22 11:23:37

I find it really sad for anyone foreign or from a different area who is ostracized because someone is not "from there" and think the attitude is ignorant and rude.

None of us chose where to be born and it's extremely small minded to choose to keep someone out because they were not born there. Some ignorant people do judge others on where they were born and say that people born down South "think they're better", which is mostly not the case.

I have met some lovely people, many of whom have been bullied by people who are threatened by the place they grew up (insert nice village) and then bullied them for it.

"You think you're better" seems to be the accusation that they face. I don't think the people in question do think they are better, in fact they are humble , unassuming and hardworking- but the butt of jokes and bullying just because of where they grew up.

I think some people like to feel superior, so they attack anything that they think is "better". Hopefully those same people would be kinder to our immigrants.

DaisyAlice Sat 10-Dec-22 11:25:03

Thank you for all your posts. I hadn't expected such a response, especially as I was just jumping on the back of the Loose Women's discussion. I apologise if anyone was offended, it certainly wasn't my intention. Its nice to know that there are GN's local to me and we appreciate the same places. I think the conclusion is that there are friendly people to be found everywhere which is what I said in my original post. Have a lovely weekend everyone, wherever you are spending it.

Daddima Sat 10-Dec-22 11:38:07

I am reminded of the tale of the stranger approached an old man on his way into a town and asked what the people were like. The old man asked what the people were like in his last town. The stranger said they were very friendly and helpful, so the old man replied that he would find the people much the same here.
Soon another stranger came along and asked the same question, and the old man again asked what the people were like in his last town.
“ Oh, they were nasty and unfriendly”, was the reply.
“ Well, I think you’ll find them much the same here”, said the old man.

A lot of truth in that.

OnwardandUpward Sat 10-Dec-22 12:03:23

Daisy Alice its good to air these views, so thankyou for posting. I have for some time been sad for the way very nice people are treated in the workplace. Its the way bullies operate. They perceive someone else as "better" (or perceive that they are snobby or think they're better). Maybe this is purely down to accent. They then proceed to bully the person, mercilessly verbally and through relational aggression (gossip and exclusion)

I saw this in a workplace situation only yesterday. The person being targeted had gone to private school (through no fault of their own!) yet was being bullied and harassed for it. Yes, some people have had incredibly privileged lives, but they did not choose which family to be born into or what school to go to- and they deserve to be accepted like anyone else. The person in question is incredibly nice and polite yet the bully has the most lowly job in the place.

Sad to say, bullies are often insecure and think that blowing out someone else's candle makes theirs burn brighter. It doesn't. We see you.

People who ostracize others for being "different" are themselves the problem and were obviously not brought up right. My friend in the workplace who is picked on because of her schooling and background is someone who helps the homeless and is actually suffering from depression and really struggling. She doesn't think she is better. Other people think she is.

Arto1s Sat 10-Dec-22 22:10:26

Have lived in many areas of the UK, and in the US now for 35 years. Still think Yorkshire is the friendliest place I have ever lived.

OnwardandUpward Sun 11-Dec-22 02:17:25

I loved Yorkshire. Especially walking past the pubs and everyone singing. You wouldnt get that down South. Yorkshire is a lot more friendly and kind, for sure.

hilz Sun 11-Dec-22 07:54:50

I think no matter where you are in this world that if you present a nice smile and say a cheery hello most respond in a similar way. Maybe a bit different in larger towns or cities to villages but its about reading the situation surely. How you present yourself oh and a smile. Never fo rget the smile.

Riverwalk Sun 11-Dec-22 08:49:20

Especially walking past the pubs and everyone singing. You wouldnt get that down South

Thank goodness! grin