Giving presents for Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Surely the whole point of giving presents is to give something the recipient will like? Not to give something one thinks they should like?

IMO it’s a complete waste of money and energy to give something ‘worthy’ or ‘educational’ if a child wants a fluffy pink unicorn or money to spend themselves. It’s also a bit selfish because it suggests that your opinion and taste matters more than that of the child or the parents.

Even our five year great granddaughter has asked for money this year. She says it’s very exciting to be able to go and choose her own present(s).

I want any presents I give to be liked and used.

Agent007, this brings back some unpleasant memories - as I had this exact problem - as a busy mother of four, in the past.

In the end, I had to impose a strict ban on anything with 'little bits and pieces' in our house - as it nearly drove me mad with the following problems:

Things I had to take apart/fix:

Video recorder (Lego)
Hoover (play beads)
Floorboards (coins)
Bath waste (tiny wooden sticks)
Air vent (Fuzzy felt)
Washing machine pump (play bead strings and counters)

other consequences:

Hospital check (baby pooping long 'fur' from teddy)
Vet check (dog vomiting metal puzzle pieces)
- and me, tearing my hair out!

When I put my foot down, any further unsuitable gifts were to be kept at the giver's house 'For when we visit' (thanks all the same). That's why my grandchildren get JL vouchers!

I do a self indulgent combination of giving people what I think they would like (by personal knowledge and interest) and that I would like them to have. Seems to have worked thus far and....... I do derive such pleasure from seeking the items out and giving them. Pretty selfish really in a distorted kind of way.

We always buy presents from the GCs wish list, or the parents buy them earlier and we transfer the money, get the present and wrap it.
There’s quite a bit written about the Psychology of giving presents, both about the need to give and receive. Ancient people gave gifts of food ( hunter gatherers) to their nearest relatives in order to ensure the survival of their gene pool.
Maybe there’s something deep within us to continue this.

Kim19 my feelings exactly.

Last year Wicked Uncle had some light-up children’s gloves. Don’t know about this year, but worth a look if anyone’s interested.

I only buy for the GC and wait for instructions before buying anything.
This year they are mostly getting gift cards for their favourite clothes shop, beauty product shop and book tokens. They will also receive luxury chocolates and other consumables.

I stopped buying christmas presents in the late 1970s when I had an epiphany of what a waste of time and money it was. You buy a lot of tat for other people and get tat in exchange. Far better to either give them the money or a gift token (if you intend to gift them anything). All those akward people can then put the money towards something they really want or need.

For a few years I continued to give my parents a small token present then I stopped alltogether. I dont bother with cards either so I am one less person for others to bother with. Over the years Ive had a few people say that they envy me but that they could not stop buying gifts on a unilateral basis as their family would not understand.

The cost of living crisis seems to me to be a great excuse for people to cut back without incurring hard feelings. I know that many people are only buying for younger children. At least I dont have to worry when the credit cards land on my mat in January.

Just to add that I absolutely agree with Luckynan that the entire thing has got out of hand.

Luckynan

I agree with much you said. One year really didn’t know what to buy young GD. DIL suggested some Sylvanian Family stuff which we duly bought. I wonder if she ever played with it much, and I expect it got passed on to younger nephews and nieces from DIL’s family, as lots of their outgrown bikes and things seem to end up with them.

I always had the feeling that the SF stuff was what DIL had yearned for herself as a child, and was never given them.🪆

Perhaps she played with them more than GD.

Daughter in Law and son both get Lego (that they ask for ) something random usually a giggle present and cash
Two young grandsons get token presents . Our view we are spending much more on the adults presents gifts at the moment. As the boys grow up we shall stop spoiling the adults and buy what the boys wants
To put in perspective
No parents for either husband and I
We rarely see his siblings - no gifts
I have no siblings
We have one child
We have two grandchildren
We don't even decorate anymore lol
We don't get Xmas visits
We love seeing the young grandsons opening their gifts
Also have to say I do enjoy the smile on son and daughter in law's face when they open the gifts from us .
We , currently, are in a better financial place than they are. So we treat them.

My DH and I try to combine 3 elements when buying presents for the GC. It needs to be something they would like, something we’re happy to give and have a something which is a surprise. So far we’ve always managed to achieve this although it can be hard work! The oldest GC is 14. Her mum has asked us to give her money. We never give money to anyone but have occasionally resorted to gift cards especially the ones you can use in a large number of shops. If we want to limit our expenditure we will give consumables such as sweets, wine etc.

My 3 grandchildren write a small list each . We're the only grandparents in their lives , no dad's on the scene either. So myself, hubbie and my other daughter ( Aunty ) buy the few things they really want. Their Mum ( my other daughter) buys nothing, never has, she's on benefits, so no money left once rent bills, food etc . I love buying gifts , but the oldest is 12 now , so I guess , it will be money soon