Come in trisher!

MerylStreep has been in touch with her. I just miss her

I like her no nonsense approach, she has put me in my place a few times 🤣

I had a good laugh with Miss A the other day.
She was surprised and happy that she’s missed.
More surprised than happy 😂

I always marvel at those exhibiting bully behaviours denying bullying happens while also throwing around the DARVO

It's only OK if they do it, the rest of us have OPINION DENIED stamped all over our comments

That's not how it works I'm afraid lol

Good to see you back, DL, and I hope real life things are all good now. I agree with your other points too - grudges and bullying are in the minds of the accusers, and Some People do see them every time someone disagrees with them.

I'm also glad to hear that MissA is ok. Can anyone confirm (and I mean this entirely non-confrontationally and separately from this thread) whether The Rules mean that we should or shouldn't refer to ex posters?

Being that gransnet have already removed an untrue statement from this thread, I would assume if the thread broke guidelines it wouldn't still be here

As for the idea that bullying doesn't happen on gransnet

I've seen too many examples and been messaged by too many about it as well as being bid goodbye by people who have left because of it.

Personally when I see assertions of bullying I would, rather than deny it:

Reflect on why others would say that

Wonder what I could personally do to ensure no one feels bullied

Reread my own comments to ensure my statements are fair or take time to think before posting a reply on controversial topics

Ensure that personal comments aren't used and I'm not bringing in another's personal situation or past troubles or career into an unrelated subject

Disagreements are of course, never bullying, neither is anger or passion

Word twisting

Personal comments

Hidden messages

Assertions someone thinks or has said something they haven't

Bringing disagreements or dislike across threads

Are all examples of bullying when they are ongoing and a person finds it difficult to escape in a situation

I'm incredibly difficult to bully as I've reached a stage in life that if I don't like or at least respect a person, I couldn't give even the tiniest little [insert rude word] what they think of me!

I don't even always point it out when I see it directed at me unless it's making the discussion impossible to engage in. But I do try to always say something when I see something with others. Doesn't matter who they are and I don't have to like or respect them to do so either. These are real people

Doodledog

Good to see you back, DL, and I hope real life things are all good now. I agree with your other points too - grudges and bullying are in the minds of the accusers, and Some People do see them every time someone disagrees with them.

I'm also glad to hear that MissA is ok. Can anyone confirm (and I mean this entirely non-confrontationally and separately from this thread) whether The Rules mean that we should or shouldn't refer to ex posters?

Well, yeah, these accusations of bullying are all a bit school time.

Disagreement and debate is not bullying.

I'm not sure what the rules are though regarding previous posters. .😉

That's great, VS, and if you find that doing those things when accused of bullying helps, keep on keeping on . I can see that having been banned before it is probably a good idea to keep an eye on your behaviours.

I do get the distinct impression that you are bringing disagreements and dislikes across threads here though - perhaps you might want to reflect on that?

The evidence is there for all to see, Violet Sky.

I know easybee it's very childish

VioletSky

As for the idea that bullying doesn't happen on gransnet

I've seen too many examples and been messaged by too many about it as well as being bid goodbye by people who have left because of it.

Personally when I see assertions of bullying I would, rather than deny it:

Reflect on why others would say that

Wonder what I could personally do to ensure no one feels bullied

Reread my own comments to ensure my statements are fair or take time to think before posting a reply on controversial topics

Ensure that personal comments aren't used and I'm not bringing in another's personal situation or past troubles or career into an unrelated subject

Disagreements are of course, never bullying, neither is anger or passion

Word twisting

Personal comments

Hidden messages

Assertions someone thinks or has said something they haven't

Bringing disagreements or dislike across threads

Are all examples of bullying when they are ongoing and a person finds it difficult to escape in a situation

I'm incredibly difficult to bully as I've reached a stage in life that if I don't like or at least respect a person, I couldn't give even the tiniest little [insert rude word] what they think of me!

I don't even always point it out when I see it directed at me unless it's making the discussion impossible to engage in. But I do try to always say something when I see something with others. Doesn't matter who they are and I don't have to like or respect them to do so either. These are real people

Asking questions,demanding answers and acting outraged when there aren't any.

Oh yes!

I try to be fair and if I need to apologise I will but some people are quite nasty and personal to me on here and I am put off by posting if a collection of names are on the thread that I know will gang up on me and I'm not a particularly weak person but I don't really like confrontation either.
If you wanted my perspective, which you may not

It's awful that you have had that experience JaneJudge

One of the most iniquitous forms of bullying, which goes on in school and elsewhere is pointing out, or listing all the good things you do with the implication that others are not as good as you, because they don’t mention that they do those things.

I do not understand what you mean Mollygo

Can you explain or give an example?

Mollygo

One of the most iniquitous forms of bullying, which goes on in school and elsewhere is pointing out, or listing all the good things you do with the implication that others are not as good as you, because they don’t mention that they do those things.

That sounds like we’re back to virtue signalling…..

Could be seen as virtue signalling, or honesty, don't understand bullying though

Depends on the person doing the assessment I think and whether they are open to change for the better

VioletSky

I do not understand what you mean Mollygo

Can you explain or give an example?

🤣🤣🤣

Sorry VS I pressed post before I’d finished writing. People who use that sort of bullying don’t recognise that they’re doing it.

Asking questions,demanding answers and acting outraged when there aren't any.
I do that (so the dig wasn’t wasted ), but the flip side is that someone posts a lie or a bit of misinformation and then refuses to back it up by just ignoring requests for further information. I have never known an environment where that has been acceptable- and have never considered questioning a line of argument to be bullying. Don’t you encourage your pupils to question what they are told? I see it as the best way to learn, and to clear up misunderstandings.

Exactly Doodledog.

Asking for more detail or evidence is not bullying.

Mollygo

Sorry VS I pressed post before I’d finished writing. People who use that sort of bullying don’t recognise that they’re doing it.

I don't understand how that is a form of bullying and I still don't

If you can explain it, I might be able to understand and change a behaviour you don't like

From my perspective, I'm explaining boundaries that others my not be aware of that can make discussion enjoyable and engaging for more people

Fleurpepper

Exactly Doodledog.

Asking for more detail or evidence is not bullying.

No, (and thanks ). According to some on this thread, arguing, disagreeing and asking for clarification all count as bullying. That is a very authoritarian outlook, isn’t it - ‘agree with me without question or else’.

One of the reasons I hated school so much was because there were people like that in positions of power. I prefer to answer when questioned, and to encourage argument and discussion. Obviously on here we are not in an educational environment, but I still like to learn from threads, and dislike being patronised, silenced by accusations of ‘bullying’ or ignored. Nobody learns that way.

Ironically, it is GagaJo who accuses those who disagree, argue and question of silencing trans allies, yet choosing not to answer difficult questions is self-silencing at its most obvious, and stopping discussion with accusations is a well-known tactic of those wanting to silence others.