Catering for groups? General discussion.

If she has a genuine allergy she would not dare eat other peoples food——— maybe kindly suggest she bring a dish so others can learn new dishes and it would be fun for others to try.

What is 'gracious' about accepting food but not contributing any? How does she know that the food she is eating was not prepared in a kitchen where there were allergens, or, worse, in a pot that had been used to cook something containing gluten / yeast / tomatoes /chocolate / whatever? I am sceptical.

This is a little lopsided. Twelve people are now catering to the sensitivities of one (If I read everything correctly), but it seems #1 person does not ever bring anything to share with others?

Something is a little off-kilter. The rule should be majority rules so the luncheon can continue on with a few exceptions to respectfully include everyone.

The fix is easy: 1) a list of who will bring what is necessary so there are no duplicates. 2) a couple attendees can graciously make a vegan (or specified) dietary contribution to include newcomer. this could be on a rotation assignment, no grudges. 3) new member should ALWAYS bring a dish to pass. Those are the rules, right? 4) if wine is included in these gatherings, that also can be a contribution in lieu of a casserole. Fair.

I don’t see a problem if people just want to get organized.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

My DiL is gluten free vegan and is an absolute dream to cater for. We always make a mix of vegan and non vegan food for everyone to share, plus she always brings a couple of dishes too, including a dessert or cake.
Even my cynical Hubby eats the veggie stuff 😉

There’s a difference between allergies and intolerances, but that doesn’t mean anyone with intolerances is being faddy or picky. I have a family member who has to be GF and lactose free, not because of allergies but because of an IBD - she would be ill with diarrhoea and colitis pain for a couple of days after eating certain foods. I don’t call that faddy.The real issue is that this lady is being cheeky by contributing nothing whilst the rest of the group are trying to be helpful.

She sounds like an attention-seeking freeloader!

I doubt anyone with real allergies/intolerances and specific requirements would eat foods from 11 different people, the risk of eating the wrong stuff would be too high.

If its bring and share then she can bring the bit she can eat.

It’s a ruddy nuisance. Vegan and veggie diets.

If they want special food, then they should provide for themselves.

When I have a family gathering, there is one member who is one of those. Despite having to cater for nine people, I’m always expected to rustle up vegan grub as well.
I ask her to provide something she would like to bring to contribute, but she never does.

I have now stopped catering for family and we now go out to eat.

Does she ever contribute, or will she be doing so in the future? Perhaps she could make some suggestions on dishes that would be suitable for all.There are some great gluten free meals ,I make gluten free brownies which the family love.

It seems really odd that she is happy to eat stuff made in unknown kitchens if she has genuine allergies - most people I know with coeliac disease would be really wary of eating something that might have been innocently cross contaminated by specks of flour/breadcrumbs etc in an ordinary domestic kitchen or where dishes might have been made with butter/milk containing margarines

She does does sound very cheeky though - expecting others to cater to her dietary restrictions while contributing absolutely nothing herself

I have an (attention-seeking) occasional visitor who behaves as if she's a famous health and fitness guru. Diet is her area of expertise - it would seem - her specialist subject.

She declines all sugar/carbs, caffeine, tap water, fatty and/or processed food - yet seems to dislike fruit, veg or beans. Her body is a temple, apparently.

Why then, you might ask, is she constantly suffering from some minor illness (real or imagined), overweight, depressed, out of breath with high BP?

I think it's health anxiety - along with a firm conviction that she's somehow special and different - not like other people.

Hetty58
This person has an eating disorder for sure. People who are out of control emotionally with their personal, professional, family lives can only control one thing - that is what they do or do not put in their mouth. She needs professional help with that anxiety and behavior.

In my opinion, it's all about balance. No one should feel left out, but also, no one should feel forced to alter their eating habits drastically.

I had a similar experience, and we found a compromise. Some of us made a special effort to bring a few dishes that everyone, including our friend with dietary restrictions, could enjoy.

Luckygirl3

If its bring and share then she can bring the bit she can eat.

That's it - common sense and very simple. And she needs to be told so.

Couldn't the lady take her own (suitable) food and not have to pay anything?

I was the Manager of a day centre a few years ago, and we had one lady who had a lot of allergies/intolerances. The cook couldn't cater for her, so we simply asked the lady to bring her own food.

This post is from April so would be interesting to find out if she brings her own food or did they decide to cater for her.

We had a similar situation in our group not too long ago. It can definitely be tricky, but here's how we handled it: we tried to incorporate some dishes that fit our friend's dietary requirements without entirely changing the group's menu. We didn't want her to feel singled out or make the others feel they were drastically changing their eating habits.

We started to include some gluten-free and vegan options that everyone could enjoy. And you know, even though we had mixed dietary preferences, we found common ground in a lot of food items.

Also, after checking the Costco Food Database, we decided on a vegetable platter with dip, some shrimp platters, and a couple of bowls of fresh fruits from Costco. It turned out to be a hit!

It was about balance and consideration - a partial menu overhaul. I believe the key is to make sure everyone feels included and respected.

I’ve got a nut allergy. The groups I eat with kindly tell me what is nut free and what isn’t.

The problem is catering for one can make problems for another
I hope you’re not using nut milk instead of dairy 😬