Endless fretting about "School mums" and party invites.

Play dates have probably come into being as children don't always live near one another to go knocking on doors for a friend to play. Hence, play has to be arranged.

4allweknow

Play dates have probably come into being as children don't always live near one another to go knocking on doors for a friend to play. Hence, play has to be arranged.

We just used to wander off to our friend's house and ask if they were coming out to play.

Well we’re just old fashioned in this family ….my granddaughter turned 11 four days before Xmas and she was allowed six friends to come to her party…at her dads …a party cake ….jelly….Ice cream….pizza….and any drink that was already in house , so lemonade or milk or juice or water!!! They played silly old fashioned games and had a whale of a time for less than £30. All the kids were told not to spend more than £10 on a present . A few months before my grandson had his 16th …again a few freinds around in garden …… burgers….pizza…and coke. After they went to nearby park with his dad and had a game of football. Not all parents are stupid and invested wholly in their kids. Sometimes healthy neglect if kids is a good thing.

I think many working parents (if they can afford to) opt for a catered party, at a chosen venue, for a set price per child. This avoids the hard work involved in organizing a DIY party. As many parents are very time poor and have enough to do without planning parties.

These self obsessed parents giving their offspring all this angst.
Just shows you the values they have. No wonder there are so many damaged young people. Totally selfish. They have too much money and time in their hands and no brain.

My children used to wander round from house to house with their friends in the 1970s and 1980s. This car driven thing seems to have started sometime in the 1990s as far as I can see. They seem to have bigger houses than we had with longish driveways, maybe that is why because often you can’t actually see your neighbours house. It is changing, though - back to multi storey dwellings with no gardens so maybe the kids will be free again. Don’t hold your breath, though …

Also, years ago, there was none of this choice where your child went to school. They just attended the local primary, and that was it.

Now, in theory, parents can choose where to send their child, which may involve longer journeys out of the local catchment area, resulting in friends living further afield, not just around the corner, hence the demise of popping out ‘to play’.

The way used to play - free range, come at lunch, come back home for dinner.... is long gone

The way kids (ate kids)

Calendargirl

Also, years ago, there was none of this choice where your child went to school. They just attended the local primary, and that was it.

Now, in theory, parents can choose where to send their child, which may involve longer journeys out of the local catchment area, resulting in friends living further afield, not just around the corner, hence the demise of popping out ‘to play’.

A lot of parents cannot get their children into the local school in their area. My daughter can virtually reach out and touch her school from her house but she had to fight tooth and nail to get her daughter in there as it is so over subscribed. The LEA wanted her daughter, aged 7 to go to a school which was 2 bus rides away. As her mother was disabled, she would have had to travel on her own . We were flabbergasted but during our fight we found out that she was far from alone in this matter.

As we evolve, we change the way we live and work - and some changes are foisted on us anyway and are beyond our control.

I'm sure many of us remember knocking on friends' doors and asking if they could "come out to play" - disappearing to the local park (or in my case, a nearby spinney); or simply playing in the street until it started to get dark when we would ask a passing adult to tell us what time it was because none of us had watches.

Those days seem like, almost, another world. How many parents would feel comfortable now allowing their children to just roam around; there are no park-keepers to keep an eye on things; playing in the street with so much traffic is a bit of a worry (didn't we used to play ball in the road, moving out the way for the occasional passing car?).

So playtime / party time has to be more structured, more organised - especially if mum is working. The awful thing is though - from my POV - the way commerce has muscled in on the act. Hence all the plastic party-tat... ready-made goody bags, etc, and the catering for kids' parties (McDonald's) which of course busy mothers are going to take advantage of, if they can afford it. Same with hen and stag nights... stretched limos where you can lounge with a (plastic) flute of bubbly in your cheap pink t shirt and funny headgear. Parties - for children and adults - are an industry, and they are cliched and formulaic.

I can well understand time-poor parents opting for these labour-saving options, but at the same time, I think we've lost something in the process... the spontaneous and constructive fun we had, and the excitement of parents planning a small party at home. The last party I remember (70s) - the kids were running around the garden, inventing their own games, whilst some of the mothers (and two fathers) lounged in the doorway and the kitchen with tea / small glass of wine, supervising and chatting until it was time to go home - with each child taking one of the many balloons and being happy with it.

Pure nostalgia of course, because very few parents could do it like that now. They just don't have the time.

Dickens

Where did "play dates", "date nights" and "sleepovers" come from?

And the wincingly awful "daddy-daughter date".

I've absolutely no idea why, but these phrases make my toes curl. Thy sound so simpering. But then I'm a curmudgeonly old bat anyway.

I am so with you on this! Horribly twee, isn't it? I also think there is a special corner of hell reserved for the words 'hubby' and 'holibobs' (see also, 'fur babies' and plenty more I can't recall just now!)