Went out to bring in bin and got ambushed by neighbour of no 4. There are 3 houses in a line. I live at no 2. No 3 is a neighbour I have never got on with, now clearly with dementia or similar. Unable to follow a conversation or simple instructions and becoming very aggressive if she does not immediately get her way. Husband of 3 died 2 years ago, a kindly but weak man who was relentlessly bullied by her. We have never got on in the 20 years Ive lived here and I no longer open the door to her. There is a walkway behind the houses and Ive seen her drifting along wearing what look like pyjamas and flip flops (with no coat) on a very cold day. Seems to have been befriended by no 4 who lives on the other side.
4 tells me a rambling story about how 3 lived with her adult daughter for months following husbands death but had now returned. Daughter and sibling want to sell the house and use the money to buy a bigger property so 3 can live with daughter. However 3 has dug her heels in and refused to leave the 5 bed family home where she now lives alone. Both adult children live a distance away and can only visit every 2/3 weeks. Daughter is very worried about her mum and tries to phone every day. 3 does not always answer or return calls and sometimes daughter can go several days without speaking to mum.
Daughter and 4 have come up with a plan to have 2 immediate neighbours hold keys and provide a contact number. Daughter can then phone keyholder (in case of no contact with mum) and ask them to call round (and/if necessary) to use key to make sure all is well with 3. 4 tells me she is happy to be a keyholder but she has a “very important job” as an area sales manager and is often away. So she and daughter thought I might like to be the other keyholder. At this point she stands outside my (locked) gate dangling a set of keys in her hand.
I was tempted to tell her that I also have a “very important job” in that I run an international business. However this is not information I share with neighbours. It was more the annoying inference that I had time on my hands which was less valuable than her “very important” managerial position.
For multiple reasons I said absolutely no. Main reason being that I myself have significant mobility issues and would be of no use in case 3 needed physical assistance of any kind. We have never got on and I am reluctant to get involved in her affairs. I asked if this “plan” had been discussed with 3, as I cannot imagine my being at the top of a list of potential people whom 3 might want to enter her home unannounced. Even if I was physically fit I would be very reluctant to go alone into someone’s home in such circumstances.
4 tried to guilt me by saying well it probably wont happen very often and surely you can do a small kindness for a sick neighbour whose family live elsewhere. I suspect that this plan had been dreamed up between 4 and the daughter without any reference to or consultation with 3.
I left 4 standing there and told her my answer was final. There are plenty of able bodied neighbours she and daughter can ask to participate in their little scheme. When I told my nephew the first thing he said was that I could be accused (by the relatives) of stealing something or abusing or harming 3, given our stormy history and her tendency to become aggressive without warning.
Good Morning Tuesday 12th May 2026
