Feeling overwhelmed

🐶

I miss having a dog but I know it is the sensible decision for us. ☹

So much good advice has already been given, especially about looking after yourself too.
Have your time out with your gorgeous dog, find a little you time, it's important. It really is important.
Sending a vertical hug.

Dear Farview, this sounds like burnout to me. Please believe that you are not losing the plot. Your mind is just trying to process all of the things that are going on in your life. there are certain tasks that you could outsource. Dog-walking is not terribly expensive and would free-up a couple of hours for you. A cleaner would also keep you feeling in control of the house. Re-negotiate child-care with your children. Just let them know that as much as you love your children and grandchildren you are struggling to cope and feel exhausted. Say that if you crack up who will look after your husband.? When I was younger I had a similar situation to deal with until one morning I woke up in tears and said I could not cope anymore. The family rallied round and it took some months and some down time for me to recover. I did recover though, my family were kind and understanding and I found that there was immense relief in being able to say "I don't know". Not having to have the answers to everyone's problems was like a weight being lifted. Once I was better I threw myself back into life but I realised I could say "No" without the sky falling in. I was not indispensable. I was still loved by my family. So what am I saying? " This too shall pass.

Thank you everyone for all your advice...and so many PMs I cant possibly reply to...I'm taking heed of a lot the advice...just want to say again..I love my dog and she is my sanity saver...as is my time on the moors with her...x

And a beautifully sunny week ahead to enjoy those doggy walks on the moors farview. Upwards and upwards!

Hello farview- I’ve followed your unfolding story as we each share the joy of sharing life with a spaniel and love of the moors we live near.
My husband died 10 months ago. We were ‘fortunate’ in that his devastating diagnosis led to his death within 6 months. I was losing him daily, as you are. It’s so hard.
I think you’ll be entitled to attendance allowance. As others have said, lasting power of attorney needs to be in place while your husband is still capable of understanding and agreeing to this. Will he co-operate ? Can one of your children help support you in getting things as in order as possible?
It’s a lovely day here - I’m about to walk a dog or two x

This was my life too until recently. Long hours looking after young grandchildren, shopping, cooking, house chores and entertaining visiting family members. Unfortunately I didn't make the changes to my life that I should have and ended up being treated for stress. Try and find some things to let go of and take time for yourself. I have started pampering myself for the first time in years and I feel so much better. I didn't realise how much I had neglected myself.

Farview, I’m in a very similar position to you, and totally get how you feel. A husband with dementia is such a heavy burden to cope with.
I also feel the same about my house, I feel out of control with it and dread anyone calling round.
Finding time for yourself can be hard, but that’s what I do. I’ve got some good friends I can meet up with. Have you got anyone ??? Without my friends I don’t think I’d cope.

There are too many of us In this awful situation. And it seems we’re just left to cope. I don’t know about you, but I’d like someone to come along and save me. But in reality I know it won’t happen.

I’m sending you a massive hug💕💕💕

You’ve received a lot of good advice farview. I do hope life is improving for you.
When we were undergraduates, DH and I had a friend whose mother gave herself a week off every six months. During that time the whole family wore clothes which they decided they wouldn’t wear again, ate ready meals and only feather dusting and porthole hoovering took place. As our families didn’t do this, we were shocked but now, if I’m overwhelmed I think of her and stop cooking from scratch for a few days. We haven’t suffered and I have gained some ‘me’ time. (DH does cook but always manages to involve me somehow.)
Your dog is adorable, no doubt an excellent companion as you stride the moors.