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am i being an old fool

(118 Posts)
finns Thu 07-Sept-23 11:29:51

i’ve always wanted to be a midwife/ nurse and come from a family of nurses and paramedics police military etc.

i started training in my 20s but was happily sidetracked by having my own babies and decided not to be a career woman ha ! I did get a degree later and have done lots of fabulous jobs, but the dream of midwife never left me. Now my children are mostly grown up and i thought about going for it - to finally have the time to myself and dedicate myself to my own dreams. I could start the journey by college and renewing old qualifications as a mature student alongside my life experiences of birth and losses and everything in between, but yet again i’ve had a crisis of confidence- am I just being a past it old fool ?, all be it a young 53yr still lively not ready to write myself off lady ? I’d be 58 at qualifying
is it too late ?
fx

Sizzler1 Sat 09-Sept-23 15:55:00

Hi Finns
Go for it
I always wanted to be a police officer Like you gave up on the idea when I married and had a family. Fast forward to when I'm 50. I passed out as a fully pledged officer. My trainers said they had never taught anyone of my age. I met some age discrimination from a few people, but it was definitely worth it. Studies were hard, work was tiring, but enjoyed the experience and no regrets. I had 7 good years then changed rolls.
Go for it or always wonder if you could

VioletSky Sat 09-Sept-23 15:56:54

Woohoo do it!

Gundy Sat 09-Sept-23 16:14:18

Oh, absolutely! There are so many women starting over or going for new careers in their 50’s. I’ve always said - “a woman is in her PRIME when she’s in her 50’s!” It’s true.

You’ll be happy and you’ll be successful. I started a new career path when I became 53. You will not regret it.
Much success to you!
USA Gundy

Dogmum2 Sat 09-Sept-23 16:14:33

Another vote from the 'just do it' gang. If you have the time, resource, energy, inclination, aptitude and aspiration then bloomin absolutely! Who knows what the next few years will bring and once qualified the world is your lobster. Wishing you good luck and good health on your next step. Keep us updated x

Notmychoice Sat 09-Sept-23 16:35:10

You have a lot to give. you should do it.

oliversnana Sat 09-Sept-23 17:26:00

Go for it. Just a thought too do they do midwifery apprenticeships as you will already be working in a hospital setting?

Tee1 Sat 09-Sept-23 18:03:59

Take a deep breath and off you go. Good luck!

albertina Sat 09-Sept-23 18:12:43

Go for it.

My first child was stuck. It may have been my first baby, but I knew all wasn't well.

It took an older midwife coming on shift to get things moving. She was quite simply fantastic.

You would bring so much to the job.

Dotty123 Sat 09-Sept-23 18:14:37

Yes, yes, yes!

fiftiesgran Sat 09-Sept-23 19:06:24

Hate to be negative, BUT - was a midwife for 40 years, retired at 62. Most of my ex colleagues 10 years younger than me are retiring as soon as they possibly can. Yes you have life skills & experiences which are invaluable as a midwife, but Supporting birthing women is only a tiny percentage of what we do. The job is physically mentally and emotionally gruelling.
You must follow your heart, but please do more research into what it feels like to be a midwife in your late 50s.

Tamayra Sat 09-Sept-23 19:15:08

Being a Doula is wonderful
Less stress & paid more smile

aggie Sat 09-Sept-23 19:20:30

I went back to full time work at 50 , but was so glad to retire again at 60 !
I loved my job , but it was physically exhausting

Babytige Sat 09-Sept-23 19:25:18

Go for it, it’s never too late. We are the only thing that stands in our own way. Age is a number. Good luck.

harrysgran Sat 09-Sept-23 19:37:35

I'd go for it rather than be left with regrets plus if you qualify at 58yrs will still have at least another 8 or 9 years of working life until your state pension so do something you will enjoy

Sleepygran Sat 09-Sept-23 19:38:07

I was a midwife.I changed career in my mid forties.My older colleague had two heart attacks, she was in her mid fifties.The stress of being on call3 or 4 nights a week and in addition they would call me if the on call midwife was out was just too much.Also if something went wrong management would look for a scapegoat,usually the midwife. I saw too many friends go through this and realised it was only a matter of time until it was me,so got out before it was.
When a member of the public see the job of a midwife, they think,ooh how lovely.Noonemsees the on calls,worry,have I done everything I could,are my records perfect,can Imsee my next patient on time.The anxiety can be overwhelming.
You need to be physically very fit and emotionally very very well.I loved the job, most rewarding I’ve ever had but if I hadn’t got out it would have killed me.

leahjack Sat 09-Sept-23 19:57:40

Hi there, it's never too late.
I'm a midwife, I qualified when I was 43, after having 7 kids of my own. I've been qualified for 7 years now and I'm glad I took the plunge - It is the best job in the world :-)
It's a hard course and once qualified you'll likely be working full time and shift work, until you get through your preceptorship training. You may also have to work over the festive period and miss some family occasions, which you might not have considered but if none of the above puts you off then go for it! smile

Nicolenet Sat 09-Sept-23 20:03:02

58 is too old. It would not be good for you and it would be worse for the patients. Find something else.

Nitpick48 Sat 09-Sept-23 22:04:54

Do it! You’ll always regret it if you give up your dream….in your real “old age” you want to be able to look back on your life with a smile on your face, not regrets or “if only I’d gone for it”. The life experience that you can bring to helping bring new life into the world is worth its weight in gold.

madeleine45 Sat 09-Sept-23 22:32:07

Definitely worth going for it. Obviously you will need to take into consideration all the points mentioned above, but if you decide it is right for you then go for it. If you go into it with your eyes open and determination you will succeed. At the worst you find it is not for you for whatever reason, but at best you will be doing what you always wanted to, and be part of a much needed group. Good luck to you. By the way, I suggest you write yourself a note on why you want to do this job and keep it , so that on the rough days you can look at the note and remind yourself of your goal . Dont let other people put you off, but make up your mind when you have considered all the pro s and cons. Whatever happens if you have given it your best efforts you can be satisfied with what you have done.

LadyGaGa Sat 09-Sept-23 22:42:29

I can only say think carefully. I qualified as a nurse at 40 and at 62 have retired and now work on the bank. It’s hard mentally and physically and night shifts are no picnic. Many midwives I know have left due to to understaffing and unsafe practices. I would not want to start again at 58. Things have changed so much even during my time, and if I were you I would talk to some midwives who are working now. If it’s your dream go for it …. But be prepared for a tough few years. I do love my job and it defines who I am, but 58 sounds like a tough age to be starting out. Good luck though, whatever you decide to do. If you really want this, im sure you’ll do it regardless.

Dickens Sat 09-Sept-23 23:39:16

Not exactly in the same league but, at age 53, I got a job in Norway in a field I'd never worked in before and in which I had no experience - and didn't speak the language.

I learned the language, and did the job - for 12 years and loved every minute of it.

Some people were not encouraging, suggesting I was too old. But the company had enough faith in me to offer me the job so I ignored the nay-sayers and I'm so glad I did. I gained enough experience to set up my own small company on retirement back in the UK and only gave up work completely at age 80 when my health and that of my partner started to deteriorate.

If you've considered carefully all the disadvantages then don't let anyone discourage you. You will know in your heart what you are capable of doing.

Frangipan Sat 09-Sept-23 23:47:13

I did return to practice when I was 45 and went on to work as a midwife for 19 years. It's not for the faint hearted! It was very rewarding but there were many times I hated the job.
When I reached 60 I began to struggle with the sheer weight of responsibility, I began to feel very tired but was a 'WASPI' woman and found I couldn't get my state pension fora other 6 years. I lasted until I was 65 but honestly I was more than ready!
Go for it, because if you don't try you will always wish you had, but go into it with your eyes open. It is a very demanding vocation and will take over your life. It is physically hard and mentally hard. Very little support is given and you have to be able to stand on your own two feet.

Cannana Sun 10-Sept-23 01:06:27

I am 66 and about to retire. 🥲
I have been a midwife since 1982 and have been through all the changes and challenges with fully computerised care being the most recent as in notes, medications etc. But being with women supporting them in birth has never changed. I have worked with many 50 year old students who bring so much experience with them they are a breath of fresh air 🌼 go for it please 🙏 you won’t know until you try x

BStP Sun 10-Sept-23 02:01:25

Go for it. It is clearly something you want to do and if you don't like it you can give up. I bet you will love it and find people who are initially ageist will find you the greatest support to them as well as your mums to be x

Ellylanes1 Sun 10-Sept-23 02:09:00

Don't hesitate, I wish I'd had the opportunity to do the same.
The lasting memories of childbirth, luckily ending in live births, are the midwifes attitude toward me. Lovely kind support I still remember to this day.
How wonderful to be able to be that person.
A good deal of study ahead, but if it's something you've wanted to do, then go for it. I wish you good luck.