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am i being an old fool

(118 Posts)
finns Thu 07-Sep-23 11:29:51

i’ve always wanted to be a midwife/ nurse and come from a family of nurses and paramedics police military etc.

i started training in my 20s but was happily sidetracked by having my own babies and decided not to be a career woman ha ! I did get a degree later and have done lots of fabulous jobs, but the dream of midwife never left me. Now my children are mostly grown up and i thought about going for it - to finally have the time to myself and dedicate myself to my own dreams. I could start the journey by college and renewing old qualifications as a mature student alongside my life experiences of birth and losses and everything in between, but yet again i’ve had a crisis of confidence- am I just being a past it old fool ?, all be it a young 53yr still lively not ready to write myself off lady ? I’d be 58 at qualifying
is it too late ?

Mokeswife Sun 10-Sep-23 07:17:11

If you can manage the shift work, the lack of other staff on the ward, the funding problems and your back doesn't give way - GO FOR IT - there is such a great need for midwives. Best wishes!

undines Sun 10-Sep-23 07:33:28

Please do not hesitate
You owe it to yourself and all the women out there who will benefit

ordinarygirl Sun 10-Sep-23 08:39:03

why would you want to give up your dreams? do you want to die with so many regrets? My mother used to say if you don't try you've failed before you begin.

lemsip Sun 10-Sep-23 08:45:16

You ask am I just being a past it old fool ?, all be it a young 53yr still lively not ready to write myself off lady ? I’d be 58 at qualifying

if you think you're old at 53 and 58 I'd give it a miss! lol

eazybee Sun 10-Sep-23 11:09:50

Have you made enquiries about the feasibility of retraining; the cost, availability of places and career prospects? I don't know if medical training follows the academic year, but if you are serious about this hadn't you better start things moving now? Perhaps do a foundation course?

Nannabumble70 Sun 10-Sep-23 23:05:28

Definitely do it. Your passion, drive and determination will guide you. You might regret not doing it. Good luck.

Leaves1 Mon 11-Sep-23 07:00:14

Go for it! Keep your passion alive. I wish you every success and happiness.

Secondwind Mon 11-Sep-23 09:32:13

It’s wonderful that you want to follow your dream and you’d certainly bring a lot to the rôle.
I would urge you to consider speaking to someone at any university you might apply to about looking at courses to gain study skills. The way students learn these days is very different to that a few decades ago, believe me!
Now for the more negative part.
I worked in the community as a Healthcare Assistant until I was almost 65. For reasons I won’t bore you with, I’d let my nurse registration lapse a few years prior to that.
I’m the first to admit that I’m not the fittest person, but I certainly pulled my weight. I have to say that it was hard work and began to take its toll on me, despite being part-time.
I’ve no idea how ‘heavy’ midwifery is, as I only did a short placement there during my nurse training.
If you go into nursing, you’d really to have experience at ward level before proceeding into a more senior, less clinically-based position, which may be a bit kinder to your body!
By all means go for it, but please be gentle on yourself.
All the very best in whatever you decide to

Silverlady333 Mon 11-Sep-23 10:50:56

I trained to be a nurse in my 40's by doing an Access to Health and Social Care then direct application to my local hospital. Some of the mature women went on to do midwifery.
Just a word of warning. Those that chose midwifery were fine when they were working in the community but couldn't take the strain when in the actual maternity department because they were so short staffed. I do not know what sort of Degree you already have but you will need Biology and Physiology, Maths, (including Algebra) English and also computer skills. (Using excel to produce graphs, pie charts etc). You will wonder what a lot of these skills have to do with actual midwifery but they are to prove you understand and can learn new things!
So if you go for it I wish you the best of luck. I too wish I could have had more compassionate midwives for the birth of my two sons. If I could have got off the delivery couch and belted the last midwife in the face I would have! That bitch left me with years of complications!

Freya5 Mon 11-Sep-23 13:36:39

Definitely go for it, be aware the politics and pitfalls are many to deal with.

Secondwind Mon 11-Sep-23 14:41:09

Apologies, finns - I mistakenly thought you were already 58!

Dinahmo Mon 11-Sep-23 18:49:44

I'm 76 now. I'd have been absolutely furious if anyone had thought I was too old for anything when I was 53.

finns Wed 13-Sep-23 10:33:45

Thankyou so much !! all of you - you all sound so inspirational and have lead such incredible lives! i have started some GCSE updates in maths and biology so fingers crossed 🤞

watermeadow Thu 14-Sep-23 18:26:49

My daughter has been a midwife for twenty years and has gone from absolute dedication to the profession and the NHS to bitter fury. She is a senior, highly qualified and near the end of a master’s degree. Conditions have become impossible as droves of disillusioned staff have left, leaving the rest to work 13 hour shifts without a break, derisory pay increases and constant disputes.
My daughter is now becoming an independent midwife so that she can give the best care during pregnancy, birth and afterwards. This care should be every mother’s right but has not been possible for the past decade. Unfortunately it is now only available if you can pay for it.

Tansy57 Fri 15-Sep-23 17:53:04

Hi, may I ask what kind of job role it was?

Tansy57 Fri 15-Sep-23 18:20:16

Hi, just reading your post and your experience with your past midwives. This reminded me of the midwife I had when I gave birth to my only child. She was an agency midwife who by the way, had 3 children of her own, I was on the GP suite, the floor below the labour ward and you had your own room and bathroom, cut a long story short I was 6cm dilated when I arrived at 9pm and as it progressed she periodically examined and every time she kept saying she was unsure how dilated I was! Later on she had to break my waters and of course I didn't know that you only start pushing when you get that urge to, and it seemed, neither did she!! I did take a long time as my son had a large head, but looking back she should have performed an episotomy, so.....I ende up with a 3inch vertical tear. She looked mortified!! Had it stitched but oh, the pain it caused, stitches were supposed to be dissolvable, but no, I'm not squeamish but I couldn't let the nurse near me to have a look. In the end it was a few more weeks and I was phoning round to have them taken out, but to no avail, very distressed by this time. I walked round the corner where I lived to the Memorial hospital and amazingly a doctor whipped the last 2 out there and then, I could have kissed him! I ended up with PD and I'm certain it's because of her lack of training affected those first precious weeks of motherhood so I really sympathise with you!! Sorry for the length of the post....

Tansy57 Fri 15-Sep-23 18:22:36

The reply above is for Silverlady333.