DS and DiL "babying" 3yo GD

@amy71452 - I agree on not just doing it. But if you feel your relationship is such that you can bring it up, ask them to purchase a toilet for your house. That way, you aren't stepping on toes or taking away any firsts. If they say no, they say no and you move on.

I wish I had some of you to potty train my children. It was my least favorite parent thing to do.

Oh if its day nursery they wont worry. I know they cant refuse Callistemon but I can tell you the range of strategies I have seen from school nurseries this week, suggesting reduction to part time place, parents have to come in to change nappies etc.

imaround

@amy71452 - I agree on not just doing it. But if you feel your relationship is such that you can bring it up, ask them to purchase a toilet for your house. That way, you aren't stepping on toes or taking away any firsts. If they say no, they say no and you move on.

I wish I had some of you to potty train my children. It was my least favorite parent thing to do.

Haha I love helping them hit goals. I'm happy to go to them with anything, but will make sure I word it such that I'm not taking it off them. Relationship is good with DiL as well. I have brought up the dummy before but they said words mirrored in this chat that she'll not go to school with it, so didn't take over

Obviously this is children without additional needs. They are all in my area running school readiness programmes as well. One nursery class has 16 children not potty changed, I am not passing any judgement on this, I am pointing out that school nursery staff are taking a range of approaches to this.

Wow. She has no additional needs, but I'm surprised there's that many. The nursery can't support training surely with that many, so how many are going to be in school next year still in nappies....

Galaxy

Oh if its day nursery they wont worry. I know they cant refuse Callistemon but I can tell you the range of strategies I have seen from school nurseries this week, suggesting reduction to part time place, parents have to come in to change nappies etc.

Interesting!

Yes its the first time I have seen this happen this term, I suspect they are skating on thin ice with regard to how appropriate it is to reduce hours. However it is becoming very difficult in school nurseries at the moment for a variety of reasons.

When I retired in 2011 there were problems with children starting in reception aged 4 and not potty trained, or any inclination to be so. No child was refused entrance but the parents were told nappy changing was their responsibility and it was surprising how quickly the -parents- children learned. The Ed. pysch told me that once a child reached four and was comfortable in nappies it was far harder to train them, although the attitude of the other children was a great incentive.
There are not many five-year olds in nappies, but the number is increasing, as some parents seem to feel this is something the nursery/reception should do.

It is really worrying if some parents are leaving training to nurseries rather than dealing with it at home. I suspect easybee is right to suspect that the response of other children might be effective, but it’s not kind to put a child in that position. And primary schools are not equipped or staffed to deal with a whole group who can’t take themselves to the lavatory.

I went back to teaching at Easter when my son was two and a half. In the summer term his childminder got him potty trained, along with two of her others of the same age. He was dry within a week. I was planning to do it during the summer holidays, but was pleased that she saved me the task. No big deal that someone else did it.

In my day (daughter is 49!) It was Dr Spock who most mums that I knew took their advice from. I expect it is frowned on now but I remember thinking my daughter should be out of nappies so I turned to the appropriate page. His advice, if I remember rightly was that it would happen when they were ready and to not stress about it. He asked if anyone had seen a grown man or woman walking up the aisle still sucking a dummy or wearing a nappy. . I would agree with others here, don't interfere, just be a loving grandmother and go with the flow.

Oh yes, I wandered around, baby on hip, Dr Spock in the other hand.
She threw her dummy out of the window and the fairies took it. ☹

I hope you are well paid for childminding!
I am rather old school and mine were all 4 out of nappies by 2 and a half. Once they could sleep a night and wake with a dry nappy it showed that their bladder was large and mature enough to control .
As for dummies. I loathe them as does my Speech therapist DiL.

My DGC are being brought up very nicely. But I am hardly ever asked to mind them.

Going to bed soon, thanks for all the messages as recommended by some, I asked if they wanted me to have a potty in the bathroom and around changes, and they don't want to until she chooses to show interest with them. I've said okay and haven't pushed any more. I've never known a child make the first move, but I've trust they've got good advice and I'm far too "old-school"

If your post was simply an observation, then it would be fine. The worrying thing is that you are wondering what to do!! The answer is that you do absolutely nothing at all and do not even consider it....

Oh - and you also say nothing!!!

Yes, do and say nothing!
🤐

It's been said many times on GN that grandparents should step back and not interfere. It's up to the parents, not us.

I remember potties that played a tune when a tinkle went into it.

Not saying you should buy one and just leave it in the bathroom or anything to pique her interest ....

But no, best to 🤐

Not all parents these days leave it so late to potty train- some even use the cues very small babies give before they "go" and whip off nappy and put on potty! One of my daughters and my son did that with their children. It's not really training as an under 1 year old doesn't know what they're doing but it saves on nappies!
It's only in late 20th century when disposable nappies were cheaply available that toilet training has been so late.
Amy - one thing you could do if not doing already (if you're comfortable with it) is let your GD come into the bathroom when you're going and explain what you're doing. She might then at least begin to have some curiosity about what bigger people do in bathrooms!

Callistemon21

I remember potties that played a tune when a tinkle went into it.

Not saying you should buy one and just leave it in the bathroom or anything to pique her interest ....

But no, best to 🤐

Wow, I think that would drive me loopy

I remember my mum holding my baby sister on the potty after every feed from about a week old! Can't remember whether she caught any offerings!

Luckygirl3

If your post was simply an observation, then it would be fine. The worrying thing is that you are wondering what to do!! The answer is that you do absolutely nothing at all and do not even consider it....

Oh - and you also say nothing!!!

Thank you, it only comes from the fact that I know she'd be capable. But I'm taking the advice and dropping any hints I've given previously when I look after her today. With what's shared I'm going to be looking for "signs" throughout the day haha. But will keep it to myself

Amy71452

MrsThatcher

I would definitely keep out if it. As for the dummy, most children grow out of give it up by the age of 5 or thereabouts. They sound good parents to me.

Oh wow, I'm out of the loop I thought they were gone by 6 months. Where's it say kids have them until 5? I'll not interfere then if it's normal and a comfort.

My dd2 only gave up her dummy completely when she was coming up to 6, though in later years it had been strictly in the privacy of home.

I might add that her teeth have always been perfect.
I had once deplored the things, but out of desperation had tried giving her one when a very small baby suffering from 3 months’ colic - it was the only thing that seemed to give her any comfort.

But it was a godsend later - she’d happily go to sleep anywhere if she had her dummy and bit of blanket. 🙂

Most of us older grans will have started toilet training much earlier in part because the process of washing dirty nappies was such an unpleasant process which we didn’t want to extend any longer than necessary. I can still picture my bucket full of dirty smelly nappies in the corner of my kitchen. A second child arriving would hasten the process. My dd was dry at 18 months, her sibling was born 2 months later.
Yes your gd could easily be dry at 3 but it’s not our call as grandparents.

Yes silverlining that was the reason for me too and #2 son, just 20 months younger trained himself!
By 2 yrs he was out of nappies and soon after that we bought bunk beds so that DS#3 could have the cot.
Dummies may not harm the teeth but can affect speech development.
So says my DiL who is a speech and language therapist. Her DC never had dummies.
DD used them at night for her babies, attached to the cot.

I know a childminder who refused to take a small child because the parents made "exceptional" requests. This was mainly to do with eating. He brought his own food which was supposed to be cooked specially for him etc. The minder had other DC and thought it a step too far. I think that family found a nanny.