DS and DiL "babying" 3yo GD

Callistemon21
I remember potties that played a tune when a tinkle went into it.

I remember 40 odd years ago a young Mum I knew saying she had one and quickly disposed of it. Unfortunately the potty played the same tune as the ice cream van. Every time the van came into the street with the chimes blaring her almost trained 2 year old wet her pants 😆

Grannynannywanny 😂😂😂

imaround

Callistemon21 - the thumb sucker was the bane of my existence. 4 years we fought over her sucking her thumb. I would prefer a dummy any day over a thumb. So much easier to stop the behavior IMO.

Yes, you can get rid of a dummy in a kind way but not a thumb!!

The dummy certainly didn’t affect my DD’s speech development. At any rate, IMO they’re preferable to thumbs.

My dd1 sucked her thumb from day one.
Even at 16, when she had a lifeguard job at the local pool - so was sitting in one of the high-up chairs keeping an eye on everybody - she wasn’t put off by one of the staff mischievously calling over the loudspeaker, ‘Will Helena Thomas* please take her thumb out of her mouth?’ 😂
She didn’t care!

She was still sucking it after she learned to drive! And yes, her teeth were somewhat affected.
*not her real name.

BlueBelle

I couldn’t bear a child to be in a nappy after 12/14 months and
I d have that dummy gone too BUT can’t alter the fact that it’s not for you to decide and only the parents can
Thankfully all my kids thought like me and nappies and dummies went quite early and as my grandkids are all in the late teens twenties it doesn’t seem to have harmed them in any way 🤣

I would love to know how you go about potty training a 12-14 month old. I always just waited until I felt they could understand that the toilet was the place to ‘go’, and it was usually done and dusted in a few days, and they were definitely around two years old.

We arrived in NZ (DF home) when I was a year old baby and soon after my 3 yr old sister and I were left with DGrandma while my parents looked for a house.
My DG had me potty trained in a day so the story goes

She was a kind woman but firm.

I waited until they were 2, too, Daddima, having read that they didn’t usually possess the physiological control before then. It took just a week both times - clean and dry in the daytime at least.

A non-Brit neighbour I had when dd1 was small, had a child the same age and when dd was 12 months was constantly telling me that I must take the nappies off and train her.

TBH her dd was reliable no sooner than mine, and in the meantime she had an awful lot of puddles to clean up.

After having trained many kids, the one thing I’ve learned is that there’s zero point unless they decide they’re onboard. I’ve had kids train around two, others closer to four. Trying to push the issue never works.

Grammaretto

We arrived in NZ (DF home) when I was a year old baby and soon after my 3 yr old sister and I were left with DGrandma while my parents looked for a house.
My DG had me potty trained in a day so the story goes

She was a kind woman but firm.

Apparently I was trained at 15 months, probably explains my problem with running taps now!!

Sad to see so many falling for the ‘when she’s ready’ myth about potty training. A myth pushed by the makers of disposable nappies btw, no surprise there. Have a read of ‘Oh Crap, potty training’ by Jamie Glowacki, She talks a LOT of sense. You can bet people wouldn’t leave toilet training so long if they used cloth nappies and had to wash and dry them. 100 plus years for disposable nappies (and all the Tena pads) to decompose in landfill…..

Not your child not your business. Grandmas job is to to love and support the family not attempt to parent and intervene. I wouldn’t say a word or try to “train” her on your time. It’s not your place

We lived in a country with a tropical climate where babies rarely wore nappies. They were carried all the time by their mothers, who quickly became attuned to their baby and could sense when the baby was about to perform. At that point they would just hold the baby over a suitable place and that was it. They would have a cloth underneath the baby sometimes but they had nothing fitted and as they grew older, ran about with bare bottoms. These children were trained pretty quickly, as you can imagine!

It happened that way because nappies were unaffordable (putting your child in nappies was a way of boasting about your financial status) and most people had nowhere to wash them anyway, except ditches or rivers. People didn’t have prams or even cots, which they called boxes. You rarely heard a baby crying as with large family there was always someone to take care of them.

It would be hard to live like that in a cold westernised country, though.

I can't say I have had any hangups despite being clean and dry from 13months.
But each to their own!

Grammaretto

I can't say I have had any hangups despite being clean and dry from 13months.
But each to their own!

😃

Callistemon ☺️

Interfere at your peril
Only offer advice if asked and only then with great care

I agree with those who say don’t intervene. My grandson isn’t potty trained and still has a dummy. He is also three. There’s plenty of time. These things come when the child is ready.

Btw my son is in preschool at the local primary school and they are quite happy with the situation. He doesn’t have his dummy at school but he does wear nappies

It is not your child. Do not interfere. The child will survive in spite of it, and you will lose out if you continue to put in your pennyworth. Bite your tongue.

Guidelines are now 3+. All my grandchildren were toilet trained very easily just did it in a weekend, but all over 3. Exceedingly bright also 🥰

I’m coming to this thread late but had some concerns about one of my GDs. She’s 7 now and doing fine. DS and DIL had an odd daily routine especially with nap and bedtimes but the nursery said that on the 2 days she was there she would have to follow their routine. They weren’t happy and even contemplated DIL giving up her job. In the end they gave in and all was well. I had GD one day a week and stuck to the routine but it didn’t work well.

Dummies for a long time do alter the way teeth grow in but not anything like finger sucking. I worked with a Consultant Orthodontist for 4 years and saw the damage done by both. As to the toilet training can understand you feeling GD should be out of nappies but she is not your child so just go with what her parents say. At least GD is asking for a change, noticing she is uncomfortable. Does GD ever notice other children her age not wearing nappies. Sometimes that sort if thing can encourage a child wanting to be "big" too.

If it's any consolation, my youngest GD was still having 'poo' accidents when she started school. I was totally horrified but managed to keep quiet. She's 10 now and doesn't do it any more!

Do not initiate it and do not mention it to them. It is up to them to decide when these things should happen. By the time they start school at 5 most children have reached all their goals, does it matter if they get there more slowly than other children?

Successful Grannies don’t have opinions.
Our ways are out dated.
No suggestions and just follow parents instructions.
My Grand child was breast fed till she was 3 and I thought it was too long (didn’t say tho)
We’re there to adhere to the parents ways.
Just bite your tongue.
No pushing your ways. Like the rest of us you’re learning too.
Enjoy being a granny, if you don’t follow parent’s instructions, you could be a lonely Granny.