Why are we so b****y polite?

Digressing slightly, when were in Prague ( five of us), we noticed that on a busy tram or bus young people leapt up immediately to give us seats, even though we were not as decrepit as we are now!
I’ve never seen anyone refuse to move a bag, but have seen them refuse to move a child who could easily have sat on their knee.

There was a thread on Mumsnet about two passengers with reborn dolls in buggies taking up the spaces intended for mothers with genuine children. Apparently the passenger (with the real child) asked the driver for assistance but he declined on the grounds that it was not his responsibility to go around asking passengers if their child was "real". A few of the posters implied that anyone taking a reborn doll onto a bus in these circumstances must have mental health problems.

There is a section on the US Ebay site for these dolls and I find them very creepy.

I happen to do it myself - if the gate is half empty and there are lots of seats, I’ll put my bag on the seat next to me. When it gets busy I move it to the floor.

It is annoying to see the chairs filled with bags when people are standing around. I think people are saying don’t invade my space!

I hope they get seated next to a big hairy, sweaty, stinky guy on the flight.
USA Gundy

I would definitely have asked, politely, if I could please sit down on the chair.

You needn't even have said anything. Just go up to them and point to the bag. That is what I do, on buses and in waiting areas. If they don't comply, go higher - but, then, I am Mediterranean, not British!

NannyJan53

This happens on buses often too. I have seen people politely ask someone to move their bag so they could sit down. The 'offender' usually looks quite surprised.

I boarded a bus recently with Mum (93) it was full mainly of school children. Not one offered her a seat. Then a man got up and offered her his seat. I said in a loud voice, 'Mum this gentleman has offered you his seat' Not a flicker from any of the other passengers as they were all engrossed on their phones. I stood all the way to town!

I usually ask people to move their bags or move across if there is an empty seat next to them. They always do. I'm often travelling with my two young GC on the way to school and normally get them to sit in the space, at which point I'm often offered a seat close by. It is usually not people of white British backgroound who offer seats, we natives seem to have lost our manners.
A very nasty white British woman, smartly dressed and in her 60s forced her way onto a bus in front of me the other day, almost knocking my GD over as I struggled to keep my GS on his feet. I had words with her on the bus about queues and manners and many people on the bus smiled at me as I sat down. She was typical of the people with this behaviour I'm afraid.

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

To be fair I do have Covid at the moment and may well have caught it on the bus! There are still quite a few people who wear masks in London, presumably because they are vulnerable.

I think that most people just ignore the signs about particular bus seats being for people who can't stand easily, usually because the bus is crowded. Most here will stand for a disabled or very elderly person, though they may have to be asked.
Perhaps we spend too much time trying to look younger - it might be better if we crawled onto buses on bad days, looking our ages?!

I’ve never had a problem speaking out

I got on a bus a few weeks ago and sat in the disabled area. The woman (I won’t call her a lady) said that is a disabled seat, I responded - exactly. Nothing more was said. I have hidden disabilities and don’t use a walking stick, so not obvious however the comment was uncalled for.

Fleurpepper

Scribbles

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

This- I did the very same on Saturday at Lisbon airport.

You said recently you didn’t fly these days FP. 😁

That's not polite it's passive. That's not me knocking you, but I used to tell myself I was being too polite. Once I saw it for what it was, it was easier to start asking for what was absolutely reasonable to ask for. Politely of course.

You say that but as a Dutch woman I can tell you that we Dutch are so blunt that it can be taken for rudeness. The British are much more polite but we have to read between the lines what you actually mean. Going to talk to the staff would’ve definitely on my list. My daughter got stuck in Greece with the fire in Luton and got so annoyed rebooking as no one was helping out and the staff were next to useless sending them from one place to another. Telling her she could only fly on Sunday for a measly £1000. Believe me that once she had finished she not only had a flight but also got a refund. Sometimes it helps to be blunt, sometimes it doesn’t.

I had to ask someone on a bus to move her knees. She was sitting sideways and taking up half of the other seat, while other people stood. I’ve noticed before that people stand rather than ask for bags to be moved. That’s encouraging people’s thoughtlessness - or selfishness.

I would ask for myself or my travelling companions .....but if I had a seat I wouldn't call anyone out

grannybuy

I had to ask someone on a bus to move her knees. She was sitting sideways and taking up half of the other seat, while other people stood. I’ve noticed before that people stand rather than ask for bags to be moved. That’s encouraging people’s thoughtlessness - or selfishness.

Manspreading too. Sat on a train once and the man next to me was an extreme example of this.

MerylStreep

I put my had on the bag and say, do you mind if I move this.
It changes the dynamics completely.

Good idea!

If you think the British are polite, then you want to live in Canada where - sorry’, ‘thank you’ and ‘have a good day’ are on the lips of everyone’s daily conversation….whether to friends or strangers! It’s a nice touch….irrespective whether its heartfelt or not!

Urmstongran

Fleurpepper

Scribbles

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

This- I did the very same on Saturday at Lisbon airport.

You said recently you didn’t fly these days FP. 😁

... and the relevance to this thread?!?

I never said I would never ever fly- and will always try to avoid- but once in a blue moon and for 2 weeks- then yes. Relevance to this thread? NONE. We took my widowed 86 year old brother- as it was his dream to go for a very long time

Just for info, whilst there we travelled by boat, steam train, train and lots and lots of trams and walked miles.

There's a hilarious clip on YouTube where a woman on the metro in NYC refuses to move her bag off a seat on a packed train. She doesn't want it on the dirty floor. Eventually the police are called, she continues to refuse and is arrested. The passengers all cheer!

I travelled on a bus today (a rare thing for me).
I was fairly surprised (and gladdened) that every single person thanked the driver as they got off. ☺️

Gingster

I travelled on a bus today (a rare thing for me).
I was fairly surprised (and gladdened) that every single person thanked the driver as they got off. ☺️

Yes, they do that where I live and people talk to each other.. it all makes for a very pleasant journey.

I would have asked politely for them to lift the bag from the seat.

Reading this thread reminded me why I do not use public transport unless absolutely necessary.