Daughter just uses me

Take it as a compliment. They know how much you love them as don’t feel the need to explain decisions or continually thank you for loving their children. They might even have thought you would welcome being freed from the obligation to provide free child care

Please do ask your daughter why she didn't tell you this! Also, make good arrangements as to when and where you will see your grandchild and spend some quality time with her. Maybe you van do pick-up some days?

I agree take it as a compliment they don’t need to thank you every time you do something. Equally my family do plenty for me and my DH without asking. They are neither rude or uncouth but respectable that’s how they were brought up to be.

yes, you have been used. It would have been kinder to ask if you still wanted to care for your gc? It's like saying childcare is better than your care? families...........

grandtanteJE65

I am sorry you have been hurt by your daughter's thoughtlessness, but young parents are so busy that she may just genuinely have forgotten to tell you of the new arrangement.

At least she seems to be treating you and her MIL alike, which is something many young mothers are not doing, but I don't suppose that helps.

Try not to be too hurt, and don't let on that you feel used and discarded. Wait a week or two then ring them and invite them to Saturday or Sunday lunch. No harm in saying you miss seeing them.

No busier than anyone else! It’s rude and thoughtless

The trick is to have absolutely no expectations. When something nice happens that is a bonus. If nothing nice happens then, as you were not expecting it to, your heart cannot be broken. Definitely build a life of your own independent of your family. Much as you love them they lead busy lives. Try not to be a duty or a burden.

Redhead56

I agree take it as a compliment they don’t need to thank you every time you do something. Equally my family do plenty for me and my DH without asking. They are neither rude or uncouth but respectable that’s how they were brought up to be.

Its not about "thanking every time you do something!" It's about informing of a complete change/ending of a regular routine arrangement for childcare!!

Try not to get upset, upsetting though it is. After a few weeks, I think you should speak to your daughter about suitable times to visit them or for them to come to you, I see know harm in you saying you missing seeing them all regularly and making alternative but pri less frequent arrangements. It may not be long before your granddaughter will want sleep overs at yours, and the parents will relish the break.

In my opinion , it's incredibly rude and thoughtless .
Sadly , it seems to the norm these days .
Of course , there are families which are kind , polite and considerate towards each other .
I've had an overdose of being taken for granted and abuse from my children and most of my friends feel the same way .
And I'm wondering how much worse it's going to get .
In our High Street , over half term several pensioners were being called
m----r f-----s as they came out of the Post Office by a group of leering teenagers .

I am sorry you have been hurt by your daughter's thoughtlessness, but young parents are so busy that she may just genuinely have forgotten to tell you of the new arrangement.

This is often trotted out when AC behave badly and it’s nonsense and just excusing poor behaviour and bad manners.

I am sorry you have been treated so shabbily OP.

Well said Shelflife.

I would be hurt like you, nobody can hurt you like your own adult child.
But be careful how you say anything, I would invite them round for a meal, get the conversation around to your granddaughter and say how lovely it is for her to have extra hours of play and laugh when you say you forgot to tell me or gentle words to that affect
It will avoid any argument if you laugh