My mother had my brother at 42 and my father 55. They were married late in life. I don't see anything wrong with that.
How to overcome the change in relationship
Just wondering what the thoughts of children who have/had them when they were 40. I personally think it’s rather old as by the time the child is 20 their mother will be 60.
My mother had my brother at 42 and my father 55. They were married late in life. I don't see anything wrong with that.
I was 38 when my youngest managed to negotiate her way through contraception. Bit of a shock for an hour or so then an easy pregnancy, easy birth and a total joy who continues to bring joy 💖
Women have always had children in their 40s
I had my first child when I was 18, I was not mature enough nor financially secure. I wanted to socialise and have a career which I couldn't do having a child and little support, it made me resentful and unhappy, not the best start a child could have.
At 40 I would think a lot of thought would go into having a planned baby with the focus being on the child rather than yourself.
I had my first two children in my 20s and my last child at 40. I feel that dd - my youngest - has kept me young and at 71 I still have the energy to look after my dgs who is 6. Dds second child is due next March and I hope that I will be able to have the same relationship I do with dgs.
My dds mil died the same year dgs was born - at the age of 57 when my sil was 27 so you just don't know how long a life you are going to have so just try to enjoy the one you have got.
I'm the youngest of five children and my Mum was 38 when I was born. Lucky for her I was as it was me who she lived with for the last 4 years of her life!
I miss her every day
No.
If you are able to have a child and want one, why not.
My husband's cousin had her second family of twin boys at 53! She doesn't look 80 and the boys are now men!
I agree with MOnica that 60 is not old now and late thirties early forties seems to be the average age for mothers to have first babies now.
Having said that I was adopted at 6 weeks by 50 year old parents this was in the 1940s. They did their best and loved me but the age gap was a big problem especially as I grew up.
I had my children young and my grandchildren are now in their 20s and 30s. I would really find it difficult to help with young children now.
Because of the differences in my children’s ages, my grandchildren range between 4 and 24.
It’s been lovely getting a new one every few years, and again, I have really enjoyed the younger ones because I’ve had a bit more time.
When the older ones were born, I was still mummy, and couldn’t give them the quality time I’ve given their younger cousins.
First child at 19 last child at 40..
It depends on how you feel about it, I know lots of people who had a late surprise baby and have a wonderful relationship.
I had an older father and felt I really never had a father. He was 54 when I was born but did not keep well and died when I was 12. I was so embarrassed when people thought I was out with my grandfather . Even if he had been a good father the age difference was just too much by the time I would have been 20 he would have been 74 .
I think it’s about the people, not their ages. Life experience is important when bringing up a child, and I’d guess that although their physical energy levels are less, most people actually make a better parent at 40 than they do at 20.
My dad was 40 when I was born, mum 36 (I was the youngest of 4). I'm only sorry they were older parents because I would have liked to have had them around for longer (I was 36 when mum died, 39 when dad went).
My 2nd son became a father for the first time recently, at the age of 39 (baby's mum is 31). He's got a very nice house, car, well-paid job, etc.
It's a matter of personal choice of course. Personally, I think it is better for all sorts of reasons, to have children in your 20s and early 30s- for medical reasons too. Quite different too depending if it is the first or the last.
I am glad I had mine in my early 20s- when I was fit and strong and full of energy. My best friend was born when her mother was 52, and her dad in his 70s died when she was 3. My own parents were 40 and 38 when I was born, but they were so fit and active, they seemed younger than most parents. But I was the youngest of 3.
Personal choice- but waiting until 40s could lead to a lot of disappointment in many ways. I am glad we were young grand-parents too.
My SIL had her first at 35 and her fourth at 45 and my dil was 36 and 38 when two of my grandsons were born. Conversely there is a barely 20 year old mum in our panto group who has a 3year old and 6 month baby. It's not a one size fits all.
I had my oldest at 20
And my youngest at 40. And she was one of my best ideas ever. I was a much more patient and appreciative mother at 40
Grams2five
I agree, I really enjoyed my older children, otherwise I wouldn’t have considered having another one when one was about to leave school, and the other one in senior school.
But I totally threw myself into motherhood, she went to nursery half days, and when I picked her up, it was all about her, I really wanted to enjoy her.
Also, in my late thirties I was less selfish, I didn’t want to be going out so much.
Looking back, she was quite spoiled, but it didn’t ruin her, she always was, and still is, a joy.
My mother was 47 when my sister was born, I don't recall it being a problem. My elder sister was 16 and I was 10 so there was always someone to care for her or play with her.
I don't think my mother's body recovered though, she had a hysterectomy ten months after the birth.
My father-in-law was in POW camp until 1948 and was 41 when he returned and married my mother-in-law
She was 38 when DH was born and 41 when his sister was born. I'm sure she would have started earlier and had more if had had the choice.
One of my children had her only daughter at 39. She is a very modern and young looking mum with lots of energy. The only downside is that all her cousins are much older but she is the same age as a couple of her my daughter’s sister’s grandchildren. Some ‘older’ mums do look and act old and I suppose that might be a bit difficult for a youngster growing up.
Some people have trouble getting pregnant and can take years to. When I had my daughter who is 40 now . I was 25 when I had her. But there where 2 woman on the ward. One was 40 and they had been trying for a baby for 11 years and finally had a son. The other was a woman aged 47. She went to the doctor's due to severe abdominal pain. She was in labour. They had been trying all their married life to have a baby and had given up hope. She just thought she was going through the menopause when her periods stopped she only put on a little weight and thought the pain was due to the menopause. Her son was 10lb. She was in shock and couldn't look after him for 2 days but then was able to . Her and her husband couldn't stop smiling and watching their son.
Nowadays being 40 is not like when I was 40 . I am 65. Children are getting married later in life both mine where 28 . My niece has just got married she's 29 . So it follows they have children later.
Also older parents are in a better financial position than we where when we had our daughter and our son 4 years later.
Happytravels people have free will they can decide to have children at whatever age they want. Same goes for people who decide not to have children. Do not be judgemental on other people's lives.
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