WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

I’m in, still trying to remember what happened in the cellar with George Clooney

Ooh ladies, and I use the term loosely, it is good to see you.
Sorry to have kept you waiting ixion, we were busy interviewing some hunky barmen.
I think you tossed George back in to the ring GG and went I search of a younger model.

Sexy Suzie/Sadie, is that the one next to HookerHetty, she caters in sparkly low cut rugby shirts

Is Alarma still going, I thought I saw Lemon wearing Alarma, she said she’d got it from Florence and Fred whoever they are

Hands up (iyswim) who wants to test the new barmen

Best you don’t remember GrannyGravy. Took me a long time to untangle him from the harness.!

Well Laura, as I’m a long standing (until I’ve had a few) member, I do think I should be on the Barman recruitment team.

Laura you seriously think Alarma would stand for that sort of nonsense. No she’s still with us (unfortunately 😩)

Have been known for testing a barman or four 🍷🥃🍹🍺🍸

She won’t be with us for much longer if there’s a repeat of last years shinanagins at the Christmas party - she’s been warned

Any barman who can survive being tested by you Doodle is hired.
Four at a time GG impressive

I missed last year’s shenanigans Brook, I was under Alotta Presha, gorgeous Turkish bloke. Hope you can control Alarma, feisty little madam.

Laura er……have you got his phone number?

No Doodle but you can have his scouse cousin Alorra Presha, his numbers on the back of the privy door

Has your boat come in ixion?

You do realise you are coming across as slightly, er, man mad, to put it politely?

Hospitality has suffered a lot since the pandemic. We need to be welcoming, warm, standing out from the rest of the hoi poloi along the stretch to the harbour.
You'll never get any new punters in at this rate. Let's Reach out to a new clientele.

Calling Sago, well travelled and beautifully groomed might add a touch of class. Serendipity always a good laugh. Room for a cultured one with a little greyhound. Welcome one and all.

Are we allowed to tout for business? Come in GSM bit of pro bono work required. Not pro bony ones myself, I like em with a bit of meat on

If we have dogs (whether they be large or little), and we serve food of sorts, won't we need an inspection from Environmental Health?😱.
We wouldn't last til Christmas ...

WANTED brave posters who fancy a bit of fun leading up to Christmas , just slip in through the saloon doors, then get up, wipe the slime off your posh frock, order a drink and see where it leads

Christmas is just the time for an environmental elf to join us

Mmm 🙁 sorry Ixion you’re right. I’ll put on some nice lighting, what about a cocktail evening to get us going.
I’m sure the new barman (when he comes) could knock up something.

I have a feeling the last Environmental Health inspector to visit these premises was last seen running down Pigstrotter Alley with the back of his trousers torn out by Gnasher. 🦙

As bar manager Doodle you’ll have to wear a bit more than some nice lighting.
I’ll have a creme de moth for starters please

Gulp. Bar manager. Me. Ooh I’m honoured. Does that mean I get the barman to work under me. I’m overcome with emotion…. Oh, no it’s not, I’ve leant on the beer pump by mistake.

Ixion you were always good on the internet (best not to go back to those days though). Couldn’t you make some flyers for us to entice new clientele in.