Goodbye to my Annus Horribilis. How was your year, lol!?

Jennyluck

Well the last few months of the year have been terrible for me.
Husband has Alzheimer’s, we’ve lived with it for several years , but this year has been awful. We have no life together anymore, half the time he doesn’t know who I am . We have rages , threats of violence. Constantly leaving to go home. Looking for his mom (deceased).
I just want to run away and escape, but I can’t.
So 2023 had been terrible, but 2024 looks no better at the moment.

That sounds truly awful. Have you looked up the criteria for CHC (NHS) funding? It might be well worth looking to see if you can get funded for extra help in the home or in care help. The Care to be Different website is very helpful and will tell you what Social Workers or Hospitals won't.

This thread has reminded me of the Queen, who was the first person I heard use the phrase Annus horribilis. I hadn’t been an enthusiast but her bravery in acknowledging what a tough time she had stayed with me. She had seemed such a contained private person but I felt I’d learned more about her to admire and like.
She also showed empathy, as she did in such a magnificent way during the pandemic. She got on with it, something people posting here are trying and succeeding in doing.

My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered and are suffering. 2022 was a bad year for our family and me personally and 2023 was not much better. So I’m hoping for a better year and I appreciate the OP starting this thread and for her optimism. I don’t like lol anymore than many of you but no, I won’t castigate her for using it. Surely we can see what she meant however bad things are for us.

I’ve had a difficult year too. My husband had 2 bad strokes in 2022 so this year I’ve been his full time carer, we’ve had major work in the house so we can stay here with his mobility, which I’ve had to manage on my own. Just as the work was finishing at end of November I fell and broke my shoulder. Have to pay for daily care for my husband as I can’t do anything, and no one to look after me! All the plans I had for pre-Christmas fell apart. So a really bad end to a hard year.

Thats for starting the thread @37Fairycakes

DamaskRose and ayokunmi1, I'm pleased you appreciate the thread. You are more than welcome.

I have nothing good to say about 2023. I lost my FIL, my favorite aunt and now my grandmother. My BIL did some unforgivable things to my husband after their fathers death, the stress of which put a major strain on my marriage.

I am still filled with optimism for the new year though, as I am each year.

Our year has been challenging to say the least. In April my husband choked on some curry and was rushed into Intensive Care. The registrar at the hospital told me that he didn’t expect him to survive and if he did he would have a brain injury as he was deprived of oxygen for so long. Against all the odds my husband not only pulled through but made, eventually, a full recovery. In October, I myself almost died and spent 6 weeks in hospital. I have had to learn how to walk again and currently am living in our dining room in a hospital bed as the stairs are an impossibility at the moment. I can only manage a few steps and stand for about 3 minutes maximum. I also have a catheter which is not a great deal of fun. I am 57.

On the 27th December, we had to make the heartbreaking decision to have our dog put to sleep after 10 years of beautiful companionship.

Although this has been bloody challenging, I have had many positives to take from the year. Our family and friends have been wonderfully supportive. We have also had a massive reminder of what’s important in life. Having said that, I am hoping for a substantially easier 2024. Love and prayers to all those who have lost loved ones this year 💐

Oh dear, I thought I had had a bad year but readings some of these posts I realise I have a lot to be thankful for
I really hope 2024 will be a better year for you all and for world peace as well.

Yes, my DH collapsed at work and had an aortic repair just before Christmas. But now recovering fairly well.
But so many have had really bad times and I am grateful for so many things.
Thanks for starting the thread.
Makes me think " How can we help? "

Hi I too hate the lol but I find lots of people use it I too have had a dreadful two years actually my son who has learning disabilities had kidney cancer in Jan 2022 thankfully removing the kidney was a success regular scans and bloods for 5yrs I was so angry he already has enough to contend with and then last year his sister was diagnosed with bowel cancer originally she was having a hysterectomy we were so lucky as our GP ordered a FIT test as a precaution so we lost last year with all tests major op thank god she is OK too but today my son is 47 my daughter is going into hospital for gallbladder removal so I'm praying for a healthy new year for us all then my husband receives a letter yesterday he needs a precautionary MRI as his PSA is up two times in a row doo6🙏🙏🤞🤞

My year was horrible.
My husbnd died on thre 18h of December 2023. Ir was his funeral yesterday.
I loved him so much.

Dorian, sending you all condolencies.

Thinking of you Dorian. So sorry to hear your news.

my husband Frank died on the 18th December. It was his funeral yesterday. I loved him so much, How am I going to cope wihout him. Does life get any easier without the love of your life.

Blimey. I thought we had it bad when my DD called me in tears this morning saying that she and her partner had to move into a hotel for a few days. The house they bought a few months ago is deemed unsafe because the cellar is flooded again. The water is still rising and all the electric cables are in the cellar.

What is so weird only her garden and the next door garden are flooded. Nationwide Building Society, their insurer is brilliant.

What she experienced is very, very distressing but is not a matter of life and death.

I read online that if you experienced a bereavement, it will take at least two years before you began to feel normal again.

English is not first my first language, I am not pedantic about the English language or any languages. I am not offended by LOL in the title, I interpreted it as “If I don’t laugh, I will end up crying.”

Hev61 I’m so sorry for your loss(es), unfortunately it does not ‘get better’ but you do learn to (mostly) live with your grief. I have attended a group counselling programme run by Cruse and go to a Grief Kind cafe run by volunteers from Sue Ryder in our local John Lewis - it is good to connect with other grieving people and I have found it helps me.

My husband died from renal failure in October after being unwell for a few months. We didn't know exactly what was wrong until early September. He suffered a great deal during his illness but never complained, always had a smile for me and everyone else. It all seemed to happen so fast and the shock of him going was utterly horrendous. My heart is broken, I miss him so much.

None of the above applies to me now.
All hope has gone, life will not get brighter and there is no light at the end of the tunnel and it won’t be a happy new year.

My DH is now having palliative care at home for terminal cancer. We will do our best to make the most of what time we have left together, it’s the only option left to us now

I am normally an upbeat, always a solution, forever the optimist type of character but this has defeated me during this emotional roller coaster, hellish life. I will go on as I must but I know I will never fully recover.

Kalu - my heart goes out to you .
This is not the time for cliches even if the words were there, but

My past 2 years have been hell, I'm hoping 2024 is my year 🙏

Kalu - you express things so accurately for many of us. 💐🙏🏽

My year went along similar lines to Hev61. Although not as bad as Celieanne86. (((hugs))) It was a c**p year.

Kalu 💐

I’m so very sorry Kalu. 💐