Oops! Klutzy Moments?

I'm a life long Klutz - I can trip over the pattern in a carpet 🤣

I'm a dainty individual, petite, well dragged up by my oh so middle class mother and yet I always manage to get something down me when eating out. Never (or rarely) at home but always out. The fancier the restaurant the better as well.

If peas are involved you can guarantee they will land in my lap, if sauce is anywhere in sight it will end up on my top. It isn't even age related, I've always been the same.

It's as though I suddenly become a food magnet.

Moral of the story, don't go out to dine with me.

Glad I'm not the only one 🤣

All the time Fairycakes my husband said it's his role in life to follow me repairing things I've broken . You are not alone.

Oh yes, but I won't list them because I'd out myself 😃
I'm going out to lunch tomorrow 🤞 all will go ok.

In my youth l was having a pub meal with my then boyfriend and his sister. I was eating a very crispy garlic baguette. As l squeezed it to take a bite it somehow shot out of my hand bouncing off a guy at the next table. To everyone watching it looked like l threw it, l was mortified. Explaining, well trying to, just made it worse.
To this day l still squirm recalling it.
I'm not generally a klutz but when l am l excel myself.

Oi! Fairycakes that’s my job😉 seriously someone should market wipeable adult bibs, they could become a trend and save on laundering.

I went to chair yoga yesterday and emptying my bladder prior to class - I forgot that a step leads down to the loo - another klutzy moment !
I must be the only person to go to Yoga and come out feeling worse .

All the time now my index finger has gone on strike!

Taking my first sip from my wineglass I knocked over another glass shooting the contents into the lap of the man sitting opposite me. His wife told me later that she had to have his suit dry cleaned. Ooops. You don't stand alone Fairycakes.

I am definitely in the klutz club.

We have a local pub which I have been frequenting on and off since I was 16, I still trip up and down the step into the ladies…

My nemesis are cooked whole tomatoes I cannot cut into one without them exploding over my clothes, even if they have been stabbed during cooking to allegedly prevent this…

Out for dinner many years ago with my husband and important business acquaintances, much older than us, I was conscious of not letting him down.
During drinks the wife of one man asked me a question and I answered her.
Unfortunately I also took a sip of my drink but without putting my glass in my mouth, meaning I just poured it down my top 😳
She was kind enough to pretend she hadn't noticed 😣

HA HA HA! So I'm not the klutzy one then!

A few years ago in an Italian Restaurant ... because of Rheumatoid and Osteo in my hands I have to hold a glass, mug etc with both hands because of lack of proper grip.

Hubby and I were sat there at our table, opposite each other. The drinks came before the meals and as I picked up my large glass of lemonade it fell from my hands, splattered all over the table and 2 huge ice cubes skated gracefully over the table and landed on hubby's you-know-what's where upon he screamed as ice cold water soaked through his trousers in a certain delicate place and he hissed ''Oh me nuts!''!

In between fits of hysterical laugher I hurriedly used the napkins to try to mop things up before the waiter came to do it properly!

Being stared at by other diners .... !

As someone who used to work in restaurants and cafes I've seen that happen countless times to various customers!

The whole thing was made even more embarrassing because we were sat directly under the CCTV camera!

Once it had all been cleared up and we were waiting for our meals hubby hissed at me ''I'll bleedin' get you for that later you old cow!'' which made me laugh even more!

Some time ago we were in a local cafe, we know the owners, sat opposite each other, breakfasts had been delivered, I was fiddling with those awful little plastic tomato sauce sachets, got it in my teeth to rip the corner off and it squirted out, flew through the air and splattered onto hubby's glasses and face, including a large blob on his nose! Everyone burst into fits of laughter including Dave the owner! Hubby dashed off to the loo to clean up and as he stood up looking like he'd just been machine-gunned, a customer called to me ''you missed a bit!''

We were in a cafe once with GC having breakfast. Dh picked up the ketchup bottle and shook it vigorously. The top was loose. You can imagine the mess, up the windows , all over the table and food. The GC thought it hilarious and still talk about it today. 😡

I volunteer in a community café and once I tripped over fresh air and the tray I was carrying with a hot caffetierre landed on a customer's lap.

She was luckily wearing a thick coat so wasn't scalded but I was horrified but the more I tried to mend the situation, mop her up, promise to pay for dry cleaning, the more the poor woman wanted to leave!
Funnily enough I've never seen her since 😊

Fairycakes welcome to my life. As klutz since birth due to disability. I take no notice of other people's reactions. I look "normal " sitting down and still it's only when I move anything can happen.

When my husband was alive and he cut my food up for me he used to glare daring anyone to say something. Mind you he was a klutz he couldn't do anything DIY,gardening or even clean the car without being cut or bruised.

If anyone looks or says anything about a klutz moment it's a sign of their intolerance and they should be pitied . As being a klutz is an art form .

I am such a Klutz , last August I fell hard (tripped over an airer) hitting my head hard on the doorframe. I am still paying for it. The whole right side of my hurts . I just take painkillers. I don’t think I will ever get better .

My body

Years ago, DH’s boss, his wife, and another senior employee invited us to quite an upmarket restaurant in Newcastle’s Chinatown. Things were going well, until I reached for my glass of wine, only to trap and burn my fingers on the red hot sizzling dish as the lazy Susan revolved. In one instant, I let out an expletive and freeing my hand, threw my wine over the MD’s wife! Later, as we returned to the car, we found it up on bricks with all four wheels missing.

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories. It's a relief to know I'm not the only klutz out there 😁

crazyH, that's terrible. Can't anything be done apart from pain killers? I once hit myself in the eye with the hoover handle. I bobbed down quickly and it hit me in the eye. I actually saw stars 🥴

crazyH - poor you .
You must have really jarred your body .
Can I recommend chair yoga to you ?

Oh Fairycakes, I’m so in tune with you. I’m a lifelong klutz, as a child had constantly bandaged knees. If there’s something to be spilled, knocked over, bumped into , tripped over , rest assured I will be the one to do it. 🙈

I was on a first date many moons ago. We went to a local pub and sat at the only spare table, laden with empty glasses. In a bid to remove my coat, I held onto one sleeve and tried to shrug out my arm. I lost my grip. My arm pinged out and cleared the table, much to the amusement of the rest of the crowd. I, too, saw the funny side, but my date, not so much. He ducked his head beneath the table so nobody would recognise him.
Turned out he was living with someone else...