In tears because of GD

It must be a laugh a minute.
The family floating around in cloud 9 because one granddaughter has secured a good match , and granny all watery eyed and upset.

I think you are treating the eldest granddaughter very poorly but you can’t or won’t see it
She is the Cinderella in the family
I really want to go and have a coffee with your eldest and give her some friendly support
You make me feel cross because your eyes are so firmly closed
OPEN YOUR EYES your youngest has everything your eldest nothing I d stay in my bedroom too Poor girl

Frankly, who would want to be a bridesmaid as the age of 40?
😁
in a germolene pink flounced dress chosen by her grandmother and younger sister.

YorkshireQueen

You dont understand how embarrassing it is when eldest GD didn't reply to the group whataspp about the engagement and she never replies to any of the messages where youngest GD and her fiance post photos of their days out. That is what makes it difficult and awkward. Even my son said he was embarrassed by this so it isn't just me. She is nearly 40. I just wish she would show some grace. That is all. We have to be happy for those especially who are family or at least pretend to be.

Are you for real?

People are TELLING you why your GD is upset and you're totally bypassing the blatant facts and whining that your feelings are hurt. How can she POSSIBLY be happy when EVERY SINGLE BIT OF PRAISE is directed towards her sibling?!

You astound me with your ignorance.

(And yes, that should have been bold NOT italics. 😁 )

I think this poster astounds everyone with her ignorance Seawoozle
In fact I don't know why she posted again as everyone is saying the same thing.
What she writes is unbelievable.

I hope that your granddaughter doesn't know that you are sharing your dislike of what you consider to be her unreasonable behaviour on a public forum. How is that helping the situation?

Obviously to see if someone has been in a similar position to me and can relate. A lady did upthread. That's why I posted as I am finding it all really tough. Judge me all you want but I am.

YorkshireQueen

Obviously to see if someone has been in a similar position to me and can relate. A lady did upthread. That's why I posted as I am finding it all really tough. Judge me all you want but I am.

You asked for advice. People have given it.

In fact 99% of posters have given you the SAME advice/observations.

Yet you have continued to double down on your "woe is me".

What do you want from us, OP?!

You're not in a position though, YorkshireQueen.

You are a bystander.
Do you think your older granddaughter not being celebratory enough is going to harm anyone, unduly?

Will the engagement be called off unless everyone is beside themselves with happiness?

How are you doing so far OP? Have you found people here who can “relate”? No? I wonder why that is?

I think a lot of people on here can hardly believe that your posts are genuine, you so completely lack any insight into your older Grandaughter’s admirable qualities and the unenviable position she occupies in the family. How can you feel embarrased by her? Surely you’re not serious?

You’re correct in that I for one don’t understand the embarrassment you mention YorkshireQueen. Who is embarrassed? And why?

I can’t remember a time when so many Gransnetters were in agreement on a subject; surely that must give you pause to reflect and consider whether your response to your elder grandchild is prejudiced? How long have you felt negatively towards her?

grannyactivist.

How long have you felt negatively towards her?

Disappointed
Embarrassed
Ashamed

😭😭😭

Poor GD 😢

The poor woman is not making a scene. She just wants to keep to her own space.

As someone with a 1st in psychology it always amuses me to hear a lay person mis-using the term "passive aggressive" as most people do on these forums.

This kind of thread makes me glad I never got too invested in family life and moved out as soon as I could. What a nightmare!

YorkshireQueen

You dont understand how embarrassing it is when eldest GD didn't reply to the group whataspp about the engagement and she never replies to any of the messages where youngest GD and her fiance post photos of their days out. That is what makes it difficult and awkward. Even my son said he was embarrassed by this so it isn't just me. She is nearly 40. I just wish she would show some grace. That is all. We have to be happy for those especially who are family or at least pretend to be.

Oh, for goodness’ sake. Why is it embarrassing if your granddaughter doesn’t comment on the family WhatsApp messages? I am with nearly everyone else here in remember your previous posts vividly. The whole family, you especially, are playing favourites and I suspect that this has been the case since the younger girl was born. She has been allowed to be a superannuated child with no responsibilities. She is going to have a big shock when she has her own flat. In the meantime, her older sister has worked to the best of her abilities and paid a rent at home, as well as taking on her adult responsibilities, as she should. I expect that she has had to listen to the paeans of praise for her golden younger sister for over thirty years, especially from you, and gritted her teeth and borne it. I am sure that she is pleased that her sister has found her soulmate, but it then shows in stark relief that she is nearly forty, so middle aged, and has no hope of her own home, no husband and the chance of having children of her own is swiftly ebbing away. From everything that you have said, she is behaving maturely and with grace and quiet dignity. Being alone in her room is probably the only respite she gets from the circus that is surrounding her golden sister. She has congratulated her sister and greeted you. What more can or should you expect? I cannot understand why you were in tears over something so very trivial.

*and remember, not in remember.

Excellent post, MusicGirl.

I noted too in this opening post (not the previous discussion) that “the whole family was overjoyed”. Freudian slip? Is eldest granddaughter not part of the whole family?

Don't know about anyone else, but I just want to sweep this woman (GD) up and give her a huge hug 😢

Well that was an interesting read. I feel that the original poster is attention seeking and not really interested in any of the advice or responses.

I wish
The eldest grandaughter could find a room in a share house with some friends who would support her and enjoy her company as far away from the rest of the ‘perfect’ family as possible
yorkshireQueen you say you have posted an identical second thread in the hope someone will understand and have been in the same situation
Here’s your answer NO, NO ONE ON HERE HAS BEEN IN THIS SITUATION as no one is this uncaring of their grandchild
You need to wobble your head and rethink 40 years of inequality
Poor lady

She is a grown up woman and if she doesn’t wish to socialise she doesn’t have to. I don’t think I would,either,in her situation. I just feel so sorry for her in a toxic environment. A pity she can’t just leave and get total independence from the whole lot.

YorkshireQueen

You dont understand how embarrassing it is when eldest GD didn't reply to the group whataspp about the engagement and she never replies to any of the messages where youngest GD and her fiance post photos of their days out. That is what makes it difficult and awkward. Even my son said he was embarrassed by this so it isn't just me. She is nearly 40. I just wish she would show some grace. That is all. We have to be happy for those especially who are family or at least pretend to be.

EMBARRASSING?? On a family group app? Maybe she’s got better things to do! Honestly, I think you should all get a grip, especially you! I feel so much empathy for your elder granddaughter!

Perhaps you should show some “Grace”

Actually this thread isn't about the grand daughters, it is all about the OP (as was the last one). I think she is rather enjoying it.

Perhaps we shouldn't encourage her.

I agree monica I think we need to stop fuelling the fire

MOnica - hit the nail on the head there