Random old bloke telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ 😩

Oh well done Witzend I commend you. Clearly I had a resting bitch face when I was young, because I got the "cheer up love it might never happen" how friggin' original Never mind being lost in thought, never mind such people who utter these inanities know nothing about you or your life or what bad news you may have just received. Bang out of order, mind your own damn business you total arse!!.

Bang out of order, mind your own damn business you total arse!!

Well with that attitude I can see why it was said to you terribull 🤣

Grandmabatty

There's a difference between speaking nicely to a stranger and telling someone to cheer up.
Lovely weather we're having
Horrible weather isn't it?
What kind of dog is that?
Do you live locally - I don't think I've seen you before
I'm sick of weeding.
Etc etc Nothing personal but opportunities to reply

I agree.
Well done, Witzend. Miserable old g*t.
Yes, it is usually men who say that to women. It's a put-down.

People used to say it to me and I'd feel embarrassed.
Now I have far more confidence and I'd probably tell him that it was seeing him that made me feel miserable.

LottieLouise

A bus driver once told me to cheer up as it might never happen. I just said it already has happened and got off the bus. The reason for my miserable face was that I had found a breast lump and was going to see the specialist at the hospital. Luckily it was benign. People should keep their thoughts to themselves because something terrible could have happened in our lives that makes us look miserable.

LottieLouise
Absolutely.

BlueBelle

Bit mean in my opinion, I would have smiled at him I bet it was just his way of making contact
Why go out your way to take offence, teach him by example

I’d have done exactly the same 😁.

Even better than that Bluebell, around the time those comments came my way, I had a close work colleague who was German, we socialised both in and out of work. I remember at the time there was a lot of building work nearby our office in central London, masses of cat calling, couldn't pass a building site without the inevitable "allo darlin" "cheer up luv" My friend, in her own direct Teutonic way, would march up to whoever addressed and would say something along the lines "I don't know you, so vil you not speak to me ven I go by because vot you say is stupid" I might add she was the archetypal German tall and blonde and kick ass with it. Worked a treat!

I have 'resting bitch face', but to be honest, I don't think anyone's ever told me to cheer up. I'd probably just have given him 'the look' and carried on with my day.

Yes agree, there's nothing wrong with general conversation, I'm happy to chat to anyone, but telling a stranger they need to cheer up is patronising, rude, personal and inappropriate for the very reason LottieLouise has given.

MissInterpreted

I have 'resting bitch face', but to be honest, I don't think anyone's ever told me to cheer up. I'd probably just have given him 'the look' and carried on with my day.

If that man saw my "passport face" he'd be too terrified to speak to me.

petra

BlueBelle

Bit mean in my opinion, I would have smiled at him I bet it was just his way of making contact
Why go out your way to take offence, teach him by example

I’d have done exactly the same 😁.

It's demeaning, insulting and a put-down.

I doubt he'd ever say it to a man who was passing by.

Poor man was wanting to start a conversation. We aren’t all experts at it you know and a lot of us can be a bit clumsy. Would you rather no one spoke to you? I know I’ve had some lovely conversations with strangers stating with inauspicious beginnings. Give the man a bit of slack.

Personally I wouldn't have said anything. But I know why you felt annoyed.I've been told 'cheer up ' by a random stranger or two before and don't appreciate it.It been when I'm genuinely preoccupied by something. And I too think my face unless I'm smiling has a naturally more solemn aspect.

GrannyRose15

Poor man was wanting to start a conversation. We aren’t all experts at it you know and a lot of us can be a bit clumsy. Would you rather no one spoke to you? I know I’ve had some lovely conversations with strangers stating with inauspicious beginnings. Give the man a bit of slack.

Good Morning, lovely day isn't it! is a useful sentence to remember!

He was rude. No excuses.

Yes I agree Callistemon would a man say that to another man, I doubt it, passive, aggressive undertone, what's wrong with "lovely day, or will this rain ever stop?" Why be personal and what if the person responded with "my husband has just died?"

a miserable mean response witzend, no need. Try smiling while you say hello

karmalady

a miserable mean response witzend, no need. Try smiling while you say hello

Witzend is a lovely poster, cheerful and she must have been irritated by this misogynist to have responded like that.

It's demeaning, a man trying to belittle a woman.
It's been said before but worth repeating - he probably would never say that to another man.

And Witzend was not in the least bit rude - just direct.

He was rude. Incredibly so. There is no requirement for women to be kind to rude men.

Men should never be encouraged to make personal remarks to women they don't know. I experienced quite a lot of it in my younger days, I remember the last time some random bloke said "cheer up luv" I was heavily pregnant, I felt like responding with "My expression is due to the fact that I have a baby pressing on my bladder making me constantly want to pee, or is that too much information for you luv"

Galaxy

He was rude. Incredibly so. There is no requirement for women to be kind to rude men.

I was beginning to think a few of us were out of step!
No, we are right.

I bet Mumsnetters would be raging about him 😁

I was always told I would be pretty if I smiled… this irritated me so much and now have permanent brow furrows.. how rude can be people be and the impact this had

Women should not think they have to be people pleasers and unfailingly polite, especially to rude old men.

It's taken me a long time to learn that, and people pleasing has in the past got me into some unpleasant situations, but it is important to try and get beyond it. I can still feel the people pleaser in me trying to get out

I can't quite get into the mindset of those who think women should respond with smiles to such personal remarks.

Good for you telling him off the next day, I say. At least you done it politely. I always wish I could think of something sarcastic to say straight away.