Random old bloke telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ 😩

I used to get that "Cheer up" a lot when I was young so decided I must have a miserable looking face in repose. I then decided to change my habitual expression to a smile. It worked! I met a lady the other day who I hadn't seen for many years. I said to her that I didn't expect she'd remember me but ..... and she replied with "how could anyone forget your lovely smile". So all those "cheer ups" worked positively for me.
In the case of OP's elderly man, I'm sure he meant no harm - just chose a rather silly comment in the circumstance!

It was a bit cheeky as he didn't know you. You could have just received some unpleasant news for all he knew. What gets my goat is cold callers asking if I'm alright, I'm always tempted to say that I'm actually not alright and give them a list of ailments then ask what they intend to do about it.

Aaarrrgh after months of not using Gransnet thought I’d dip my toe back in
Still the same level of intolerance and jumping on peoples views to disagree in a nasty fashion
so pulling my toe hastily back out

I think it’s very rude of people to say things like that to perfect strangers! They rely on our good manners and tolerance to get away with their pathetic behaviour. The other day in the street a youngish man walking past yelled at me “cheer up darlin’!” I lost it enough to call back to him ‘do I know you?’ He didn’t answer of course so I shouted after him ‘so keep your mouth to yourself, idiot’. Not very ladylike behaviour but I won’t be bullied by some fool in the street talking to me like that. Would he have said it to a man?

I don't see that as bullying at all.

sukie

Just yesterday I attended an award ceremony at dgs school where the speaker referenced a quote by Marcus Aurelius: “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”

I agree with M A and I often say similar to DGD. But I think, if I’d thought quickly enough, I would have replied, “and a very good morning to you too” with a big beaming smile! If I’d thought quickly enough that is …

Just for the record, my late partner had a very miserable face when not speaking or smiling, I cannot count the times my friends or even strangers all women have told hi to cheer up or the whole sentence of cheer up then sit will never happen. Women and men have said hit to myself loads of times. I have a very scared face which looks very drawn and frowned, I am always been told not to worry so much or to cheer up. I can assure you it is not just old men. It does take you back a bit, but I have never retaliated as I know I can sadly look old and miserable as did my partner. I pick my fights and let it go over my head. I think some of these comments are rather OTT

DamaskRose

sukie

Just yesterday I attended an award ceremony at dgs school where the speaker referenced a quote by Marcus Aurelius: “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”

I agree with M A and I often say similar to DGD. But I think, if I’d thought quickly enough, I would have replied, “and a very good morning to you too” with a big beaming smile! If I’d thought quickly enough that is …

Love this I try to live by it

I think it's safest to just phone the police next time.

I think some of these comments are rather OTT and IMO that's an understatement win.

Love that MissAdventure a kindly Mr Plod will come on his bicycle in 6 weeks time. Maybe!

For the record, I wasn’t ’harmed’ by his comment, but I was certainly a bit upset by the inference that I evidently looked like a miserable cow, when I was feeling perfectly fine.

Anyone who thinks this was a ‘pleasantry’ is evidently on a different planet from me. To me a pleasantry would have been e.g. ‘Lovely morning, is t it?’

And further for the record, my tone when I spoke to him was perfectly polite. ‘Rude’ would have been ‘Put a sock in it next time, you old git!’

Well done !

Years ago as I went to collect my children from school and man passed me and told me to cheer up. I replied that my father had died yesterday so smiling was not an option. That shut him up. It was true by father had died the previous day whilst we all sat around his bedside. I am of the keep your thoughts to yourself brigade.

Marcus Aurelius was a Stoic - we're not all stoical when upset or under pressure, nor should we expect to be just to please a dinosaur.

This would be water off a Rhinocerous' back in this department.
I would definitely laugh it off and turn it into a joke. I think a " no worries , mate" would probably be the order of the day.... sorry G'SNetters I really do say this stuff.....
Having said that it can be irritating if you're having a bad day
or feeling that your once youthful looks have plummeted south along with everything else.
I think we are all aware that the serious feminist point that possibly irritates the presumably younger MMsNetters is, I think, that the non-smiling woman is womankind failing to perform their only or at at least most important role , that of looking beautiful and cheering up all MAN kind.

I don't think that smiling makes a lot of people beautiful, myself included!

MissAdventure

I don't think that smiling makes a lot of people beautiful, myself included!

My face looks all screwed up if I smile.

That old bloke would probably say"Blimey, luv, what's happened?!"

He'd probably say "Actually, don't bother" to me. 🥴

I’m never sure what the point of this common comment to strangers is; I always ignore it completely. Why do people do it? I don’t think it’s to start a conversation. There are already well established openers for that and it’s mostly shouted as you pass someone in the street so there’s no expectation of an interaction but perhaps a reaction is “fun” for the commenter?

HelterSkelter1

Or as I said and obviously annoyed Norahbone no end, inappropriate comments can be an early sign of a dementia. It doesn't excuse but maybe explains.

... well, there is that to consider, too.

On the autistic spectrum?

It's something that users here often decide about wayward husbands, or 40 year old children. (Undiagnosed, usually)

Personally I would have laughed and that would have cheered me up no end lol

MissAdventure

How can it hurt someone???
Annoy, yes infuriate, but hurt????

You're right of course - it doesn't really hurt at all.

But when you've had a lifetime of men - at work, sometimes in senior positions, in pubs, passing by in the street, shouting from cars - telling you to Cheer Up or give them a Smile - it does get rather tedious. Especially when, you know, there might be a good reason why you're not sporting a permanent pleased to see you look because you have things going on in your life that might distract you from walking around with a smiley face that makes men feel comfortable.

I suppose we judge others by the way we behave ourselves, and I would never accost some random stranger, man or woman, in the street, telling them to "cheer up". It's intrusive and just plain old bad manners.

... it's not even infuriating... just tediously irritating.