I told off new mum

John Lewis, Oxford Street 25 years ago, pushing a pram in the Babywear/necessities department. An older woman admired my 2 day old grandson, then said in a slightly shocked, suspicious tone ‘But where is the mother?’ Pointing, I assured the woman ‘In that cubicle trying on nursing bras.’ No, I hadn’t just walked off with a pram and tiny occupant.
Next day we went for lunch to a restaurant with many outdoor tables. I’m sitting with little GS, another older woman at a nearby table admires him, then says with surprise ‘But where is Mama?’ I may have sighed as I assured her ‘Mama is looking for a parking space!’ My DD apppeared eventually with 3 year old who chose his favourite meal, not from child’s menu. ‘Surely he won’t eat all that!’ observed the same woman. I may have sounded a little harsh as I responded ‘No, but he will greatly enjoy what he does eat!’ I had ordered a fairly small dish as I knew there would be leftovers to finish up.

OurKid1 where did I say she told me off? I never said what she did! In fact she smiled and said yes I'm tired

Haha doesn’t make it any better biscuitcruncher you spoke out iof turn and were judgemental out of turn too

Not a helpful comment. You know nothing of her life. If you can’t be nice, say nothing.

…and your title is I told off new Mum not a pleasant thing to do and absolutely none of your business whether it was one day after or ten days after

Well o hope she asked what business you thought it was of yours.! A new mum has enough to worry about without the opinions of random older ladies in the shops. Imagine if she’d ask how old you were and my gosh shouldnt such elderly people be resting !

I think there is a real problem in our society that too many people mind their own business and are afraid to speak their mind and give gentle advice on occasion.

We older people can be a real source of wisdom and support to the younger generation. Reassuring them and encouraging.

Better surely to say what you think and instigate discussion rather than tut tutting behind backs or picking quarrells with eachother on here.

Aren't you just special, OP?

Nmama aw thanks xx

Grammaretto exactly, how many times have awful things happened because no one spoke up

Nothing to do with ‘the times’ if someone had said that to me 50 years ago I d have been annoyed It’s about being polite and the title of the thread is I told off new mum that’s not meaningful advice that’s rude.
Granmaretto no one is picking a quarrel on here 99% of the posts are in perfect agreement

Maybe she is on her own - and the groceries won't walk home by themselves.

Grammaretto

I think there is a real problem in our society that too many people mind their own business and are afraid to speak their mind and give gentle advice on occasion.

We older people can be a real source of wisdom and support to the younger generation. Reassuring them and encouraging.

Better surely to say what you think and instigate discussion rather than tut tutting behind backs or picking quarrells with eachother on here.

I agree with you.
It’s sad that so many older women on this forum delight in sticking it to another poster, in this case the OP.In some cases many times on the same thread.

mae13

Maybe she is on her own - and the groceries won't walk home by themselves.

She was in Zara FGS.

My son was 8 days old when we went with friends to an antique fair. People expressed surprise when they looked in the pram but I felt fine. My grandmother gave birth to my father and then got up and made the family dinner. Pregnancy and birth have been too medicalised and women don’t necessarily need to stay home and rest after giving birth. If they choose to go out, it is up to them, not anybody else.

Oreo thank you, I thought I was being caring, but I'm obviously some sort of monster

Well sometimes BlueBelle it's best to be in the minority.

I can remember several occasions when I was out with the pram plus toddlers when I would be spoken to and advised by an older woman. Once I was reminded to enjoy my baby and to not be in a hurry all the time. Housework can wait.

When a Mum is ready to be out and about is purely personal.
With a six year old , a three year old and a week old baby we went off on our summer holiday in our touring caravan. Most people were amazed.

Biscuitmuncher

Oreo thank you, I thought I was being caring, but I'm obviously some sort of monster

No you're not a monster, but you really shouldn't have said anything - it's not your business. Apologies for saying she told you off - I assumed that she had and I shouldn't have.

Biscuitmuncher well meaning, but a bit tactless.

She is probably on Mumsnet saying " Aibu about some random women coming up to me in John Lewis saying I should be resting 3 days post partum" 🤐🤐

Bit rude and completely wrong!! There may have been many reasons why she was out, and giving birth isn’t an illness.

She probably wanted a bit of fresh air, or could have an urgent chore, or need to collect an older child. I didn’t have the luxury of rest much after baby number three or four and I was in my forties!

petra

Well that went well, didn’t it 😂

😂😂😂😂😂

Cossy she was in Zaras on a Saturday in Birmingham, does anyone bother reading the post or just start kicking

Maybe she had a good reason to be there - needed something to wear somewhere which wasn’t maternity clothes and her pre-baby stuff no longer fitted. Maybe she wanted to feel normal again. Maybe there was nobody she could ask to look after the baby. Whatever her reason for being there, it’s not anyone else’s business and no matter how gentle you thought the telling off was, she may well not have seen it that way. Perhaps you didn’t have post-natal depression - I did, and perhaps she did. I would have felt deeply hurt by a stranger suggesting I shouldn’t be out with my baby. In future, keep your thoughts to yourself.