I told off new mum

How do you know she wasn't a kind friend giving a new mum a chance to have a rest?

I was over forty when I had my daughter.

One day, when she was about three, we were walking home and she was running ahead the last few yards before we reached our gate.

A women, who was coming up the road towards me, remarked "Look at that tiny, little child running down the road by herself. Mother nowhere in sight."

Back in the distant past, those women who could were kept in bed for upto a fortnight, often led to more serious illness. These days, after a normal delivery women are encouraged to carry on as they feel they are able.
I know my Mum would tell the tale of her Mother back in the early twentieth century. My mum, being the eldest child was in charge of her four siblings when a new baby was being delivered. She was always a timid being, and had no control over her two younger brothers who soon got into a fight with another local lad.

Back home, they saw new baby, just born, and then this other lads Mum was knocking on the front door as his shirt had been torn and she wanted recompense. My Grandma got out of bed where only hours before she had birthed a baby, went downstairs, arms akimbo told this woman to to go away in no uncertain terms, or she would help her, and then did as she threatened. Other woman took her to local court, where magistrate threw the case out refusing to believe that a woman could do this just hours after childbirth.

They made 'em tough in East London back then.

If I was the baby's mum, I'd have been furious with you, not for cooing over the gorgeous little babe, but for telling off the mum for being out so soon after the birth.

What exact business it it of yours? So she was in Zara, so what? After spending 9 months carrying a baby then I've no idea how long for the birthing I think she well deserved to go out and get some air in her.

Stop being part of the big brother state - watching what everyone else is doing - and stop interfering. It's her baby, her body, her life, not yours.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions Biscuitmuncher. I’m sure you meant well but you have to be careful how you put it. You don’t know what advice mum had been given or as one poster said even if it was mum. Mum may have been told baby needed to be taken out everyday. she might have even liked to have been resting but mums are discharged from hospital within hours of giving birth and expected to be on the move even with Dad having paternity leave. Maybe dad was home doing cleaning and washing

...or she was too big to get in a wedding outfit for the next week - or she wasn't even the mother!

I thought I'd fit in my pre- pregnancy jeans the day my first baby was born!
🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was out with a male friend when our youngest was a few weeks old, we were buying wine in the supermarket, my baby was in a car seat in the trolley.
As we were leaving the checkout and I was paying a lady asked my friend how old the baby was, he replied I’m not sure I would guess about 8 weeks.
I’m sure to this day the woman wonder what kind of a father he was!

Oreo

Biscuitmuncher
Tbh I agree with you, shopping in Zara three days after giving birth seems crazy to me, both for the new Mum and the baby.
This isn’t a trip to get food or nappies cos there’s nobody to do it for you after all.
Don’t worry about the tut tutting at you on here.😃

I agree, I think it was irresponsible of the new mum to take her 3 day old baby to a shop like Zara’s 👖👗 👚.
Out for a walk in the fresh air which is what I did but not to a busy clothes shop.

I wouldn’t have said anything as I think that was a teeny bit rude.😌

When I had DS in the early 80's new mothers and babies routinely stayed in hospital for 7 days. The first 3 nights the babies were put in the "Nursery".
In the mid-1990's I worked in a busy Register Office and it was not unusual for new mums to come in to register their newborns a few hours after they had given birth. They were on their way home from the same hospital that only a few years previously had insisted on 7 days bed rest and 3 nights restful sleep while "baby" was taken from them to the Nursery.
How times and attitudes have changed.

petra

Well that went well, didn’t it 😂

😂😂😂

In the long run giving your body time to recover gently is far more beneficial.
Zara on a Saturday, new baby, nope

When mine were babies the advice was to let them sleep on their tummy. Countless older women came up to me and asked if I was sure my baby was OK. They didn't tell me off. Their concern was for the baby and they just expressed it. It was done out of concern and care. I think you just got your tone wrong. Perhaps you would have been better asking if they were both OK.

OP, you sound almost proud of yourself 😡
New mums get enough stick from family, never mind random strangers wading in with their own preconceived ideas.
The people I'll remember from when my children were tiny were the ones who could find words of praise even when things weren't going well.

OldFrill

Surprised she didn't retort with 'what are you doing out of the home at your age?'

Could you imagine the thread on here if she had,

Calipso

OP, you sound almost proud of yourself 😡
New mums get enough stick from family, never mind random strangers wading in with their own preconceived ideas.
The people I'll remember from when my children were tiny were the ones who could find words of praise even when things weren't going well.

New mums get enough stick from family, never mind random strangers wading in with their own preconceived ideas.

There are no set rules for taking newborns out in public - obviously it's best to avoid crowded and / or badly ventilated stores, etc.

But no one knows why this mother chose to go into ZARAS- maybe she needed new clothes because her old ones didn't yet fit. Or she simply wanted to do something 'normal'. I don't know.

It's not something I would have done personally, but neither would I approach a woman I didn't know, whose circumstances I knew nothing of, and "tell her off". And then boast about it on GN.

It smacks of tut-tutting about the younger generation.

I don't take kindly to being criticised as part of an older demographic by the younger generation, so I don't do it against them.

I as back at work when my daughter was 8 days old,did neither of us any harm

Telling a new Mum off, how rude. They don't keep you tied up in hospital nowadays
This poor proud new Mum, maybe had to be out with new baby, possibly had no one to look after it, and none to shop for her. Why do people think they have a right to put their oar in, on something that doesn't concern them.

Provocative opening post has done the job it set out to do really well! 😂😂😂😂

I am afraid the new mum is probably on MN as we speak, saying you will never believe what someone said to me today

I would not be surprised! Randoms nowadays seem to think its acceptable to go up to complete strangers and express an opinion about something they have done or even aspects of their personal appearance.

You were very rude OP. I'm not sure why you felt the need to be so judgemental.

Many people do not have the luxury of staying in for weeks after giving birth and for the past 30 years you have been recommended to get up and move around and resume normal activities.

26 years ago - I was in a shopping centre when DD2 was 36 hours old and ... (clutching pearls) ... in a shop called Glitter buying stuff for DD1 (aged 2) who needed some things for her role as "princess" in the nursery end of year production two days later - which I attended together with 2 other nursery mums that had given birth in the previous 5 days,

I remember the relief of being out and about after 2 months in a wheelchair prior to the birth.

I was in Hospital for 6 hours with my eldest child 43 years ago and heaven forbid I was out and about when he was 3 days old. I also fitted in my pre pregnancy jeans in fact I was thinner after giving birth than I was before, just had a bit of jelly belly.
Same scenario for baby number 2 eight years later, this was all before paternity leave but I sent my Husband back to work after two days as I'd rather he took time off with us in the summer when we could go out and about together.
I was fortunate in that I was as fit as a flea and commenced my fitness regime pretty much immediately. I was also back at work full time when he was 10 weeks old. It's never done any of us any harm. Each to their own, every woman should do what she feels comfortable with and not be dictated to by some stranger in a shop who knows nothing about her or her circumstances.

I a sorry I would consider anyone who spoke to me like that quite objectionably rude, no matter how they made the comment.

I had my second baby so quickly and easily and felt so well I would happily have picked he up after birth and walked home with her.

Everyone's birth experience is different, i had copletely different experiences with both children.

However whatever the circumstances, If a total stranger walked up to to me and then stuck their head in the pram and made intrusive remarks like this, I would consider them ill mannered and a danger to my child.

We have beautiful photos of our first-born out for her 1st walk in the baby sling at a local beauty spot - on day 2 or 3. We took her 100miles north that same weekend to surprise my lovely dad for Father's day.

Some of us are fortunate in that we recover quickly.

Biscuitmuncher

I "told her off" with kindness, I suppose I remember how awful I felt after giving birth and Zaras would be the last place on earth I would have been

In your defence Biscuitmuncher I also felt dreadful after giving birth and going out shopping was the last thing I wanted to do.

I was shocked, and appalled about a young couple with a toddler in a pushchair on the bus recently......the child was irritable and fractious and another passenger offered the parents grapes for her.........they were oblivious as to what was going on as both sat there glued to their mobiles. Generous of the other passenger but a choking hazard for the toddler who was cramming the grapes into her mouth, unobserved by anyone else but me - at one point she had several in at the same time.

I was always of the opinion that grapes and cherry tomatoes should always be cut in half for toddlers and young children - I did exactly that as did my AC.

Let's hope, as can happen, that the new mother hadn't taken her newborn back to an empty flat with no supportive family to admire her baby and boost her confidence. You seem to be pleased with your telling off, but you have no idea of any consequence that it may have had for the woman.