How to explain attraction…

The only likeness between my late father and my DH is their DIY abilities. Everything else is totally different, especially their personalities.

My lovely SiL is nothing like either DD’s dad, nor her step dad.

Heaven forbid that I’m anything like my DiL! She’s led my son a right merry dance 😕

keepcalmandcavachon

I definitely had a 'type' in mind when I started looking online, the minute I saw those gorgeous brown eyes staring out of the screen I just knew!
Travelled halfway across the country and it was love at first sight. He's cuddled up besides me now snoring gently after a lovely walkies and a good sniff 'round the park

Doh! You got me there, only twigged at the sniff round the park bit.🤣

AGAA4

My husband was poles apart from my dad in looks and character. The same applied to my mother in law and me.

Same here, and same with DP.
I won’t say there’s nothing in it tho ( OP ) as I’ve known people who have gone for same physical types as close family.Could be something hardwired in us that stays safe with the known villager rather than the tribe over the hill.

Aldom

A friend once said of me and my husband, 'You two look like brother and sister.'

A woman we barely knew said this to my husband and I at a dance years ago, I looked at her in bewilderment!

A friend once said of me and my husband, 'You two look like brother and sister.'

They do say that men tend to marry women who resemble their mothers. I am not the slightest bit like my mother-in -law. However, both my sons have married girls who look alike, but they don't look like me.

My dil is the opposite of me. My sil very much like my d father in looks.

Both my husbands were, are, totally different to my father, and I loved him unconditionally.

How do you account for women like me whose father left when I was a few months old? Had a lovely uncle but he died young
So no father figure and no real security

I am the opposite of my late MiL in every way.

Cateq

Granddadpete, I was a red head when younger and was never attracted to red headed men, was too afraid my children could be ridiculed the way I was as only one of two children in the estate we lived on with red hair. I even used to tell my best friend when we were about 10 or 11, if I ever had a child with red hair, I’d flush it down the toilet oh dear

Oh that’s a shame

Granddadpete, I was a red head when younger and was never attracted to red headed men, was too afraid my children could be ridiculed the way I was as only one of two children in the estate we lived on with red hair. I even used to tell my best friend when we were about 10 or 11, if I ever had a child with red hair, I’d flush it down the toilet oh dear

I definitely had a 'type' in mind when I started looking online, the minute I saw those gorgeous brown eyes staring out of the screen I just knew!
Travelled halfway across the country and it was love at first sight. He's cuddled up besides me now snoring gently after a lovely walkies and a good sniff 'round the park

I always fancied men with mousey hair and designer stubble. My friend said to me that all the boys I liked looked the same.

I looked nothing like my mother in law or my sister in law who looked very similar. I am fair with a round face and they are dark with oval faces.
My husband left me for a woman who looked very similar to them. I did wonder that when he met her, he felt he had known her all his life. 😊
They do say that husbands and wives who look like each other are more likely to stay married.

Some people look like their dogs.

My Sil looks nothing like my husband but personality wise my daughter has often been heard to say that 'I've married dad'

I think what attracts you to a person is so highly individual that it is impossible to generalize.

Some people do seem either deliberately, or subconciously to fall in love with someone who resembles one or other of their parents, others choose as different a partner as possible, and this latter seems to apply whether or not you had a happy childhood or not.

Sadly my father was a horrible man. I've chosen partners that I thought were the opposite, only to find that in many ways they resembled him - c'est la vie!

When I first met my soon-to-be in-laws.FiL commented that I looked like their eldest daughter (I don’t). After 50+ years of marriage, my DH looks like his mother (who I could not stand). The only difference is that DH has a beard!

When my farther met my daughters future husband, he was shocked as he could see himself as a young man.

My late husband came straight out with it. He said, "You remind me of my mother!"

I do not look remotely like my MiL. The only thing we share is our love of the same man. DH, like my father, is not that tall (5 foot 8inches), but there the similarity ends.

DDiL couldn't be more different from me. Much taller, highly artistic, with a much gentler nature.

AH, that must be where I went wrong.
My father was a Methodist local preacher; so teetotal;
My EX husband was an atheist and turned out to be a heavy drinker, bordering on alcoholic.

I noticed in the local paper with pictures of recently married couples clearly many are attracted to those similar to themselves. I am sure similar eye colour has been a reason for me. Limerance being an extreme best resisted, as a great Sufi mystic put it'this little while ere I go hence love very lightly now in self defence' :-)