Meeting new people who only talk about themselves

I think people who live alone are grateful to have someone to listen to them talk about themselves! Try looking for someone not in a group and go from there. Are you being open and friendly? It hard but put yourself forward!

I have only ventured on one coach holiday solo so far. I had a seat to myself on the coach so was not stuck next to anyone. We sat at the same tables for each meal which seemed to work, though I did sometimes wish we could have swapped places. Apart from that, on visits I went around happily on my own. Everyone seemed very friendly but never overbearing, thankfully. I’ll see what the next trip is like. Same coach company,

Yes and their animals.

Optomistic1 I admire your courage, I have holidayed with female friends a few times and we have always welcomed solo ladies into our group. At the end of the holiday they have always said what a great time they’ve had with us. Are there any groups of ladies you could perhaps pal up with?
I’ve just recently returned from a cruise and totally understand where you are coming from regarding folk banging on about themselves and in particular their past holidays - they don’t seem to be aware of how boring they are. One woman gave a monologue about some holiday to Tuscany for about 25 minutes. I lost the will to live and left the dinner table as soon as I could - avoided her and her odious husband for the rest of the trip - I wasn’t the only one either! Don’t give up on your holiday - just be thankful you don’t have to live with such tedious folk😁

It’s not you,some people are loud & constantly take over the conversation——— I once dropped out of a fun group I was in as I found I was no longer enjoying it as one lady talked non stop & no one else got a word in——-look for some one who is also sidelined & chat to them,good luck.

I go on cruises on my own quite a lot, and there are always people who just love banging on about themselves. But I find there's a lot of quiet private amusement to be had as I sit listening to these bores and wonder why on earth they think their lives are so fascinating to others. People are a source of endless entertainment if you let them run on, and as I have little interest in talking about myself, I am happy to listen as they unwittingly provide gems for me to store up for future amusement (as a previous poster does). It really is amazing how many people are completely un-self aware and quite happy to bore away with endless tales of their doings - never a thought for anyone else. Hilarious!

I have a friend who talks incessantly about her ailments. I once fell asleep during her monologue. She’s quite lonely I think. Son and daughter and grandchildren live far away.

I think half my problem is that I too friendly and interested in people and smile and nod too much! They therefore want to tell me everything! As I have said before glad it's not just me!

Maybe I will try a cruise next on my own ? At least as others have said there are lots of other people on there.

Well done for going on a solo holiday . My late fil went on coach holidays after my mil died . He could talk for England and was very engaging . Everyone liked him and because there were fewer men on these trips , the women were queuing up to sit next to him.
Are there men on this trip ?
I think monopolising a conversation and talking about yourself is an age thing . I retired two years ago and have found the people droning on about themselves are older and often live alone and are maybe lonely or anxious. One lady I know always has to fill any gaps in the conversation. I just sit and listen .
The ones who drive me nuts though are those who ask about my AC, holiday , elderly DM , I get one sentence out and then they interrupt and tell me about their AC , holiday , elderly DM !!!

If I'm in this situation I tend to sit back and watch the group dynamics.. it can be fascinating.. I prefer being in a small group so would probably talk to the person I found most interesting when out on one of the trips..

I recently went a charity lunch.
I was with two friends and we were sat on a table with an elderly couple and another elderly lady in her own.

The man sat next to me and said ‘we’re lucky to be on the organisers table’. I said ‘you’re extra lucky because you’re sitting next to me’ . Ha ha! Well that was that…. He didn’t stop talking just to me. I had his whole life history and more. I didn’t get a chance to speak to my friends and he completely ignored his wife (who had dementia) and their friend. I just nodded and smiled, oooed and arred in appropriate places . 🥱😴.

I’ll be careful what I say next time, when trying to be friendly to a stranger. 🤣

They are such bores! Time to wander off and find more interesting people.

Vintagewhine

Sadly some lonely people lose the ability to converse and just talk at others. I phone my sister on a monthly basis just to check she's ok but always have a magazine to hand. She can talk non stop about cooking and cleaning whilst I read my mag. Occasionally she'll stop just to check I'm still there. Difficult to do at a dinner table though!

I have a sister like yours, Vintagewine. I take the opportunity to doze, and just say “mmm” agreeably whenever there’s a brief gap in the flow of words. I love her dearly though…

If you are feeling that, rest assured some other quiet person, or persons, is/are feeling the same. These big mouths are responsible for a lot of isolation, as people feel overwhelmed. Keep your eyes open for someone else to talk to - it's often the least likely who come up trumps!

I wasn't on holiday, but about to sit quietly, on my own in a cafe for my lunch, with a book.

I met the uncle of a famous comedian, who told me ALL about his nephew for around two hours.

The worst of it was that the uncle had the exact same squeaky voice that his nephew was famous for!

Was it Wee Jimmy Crankie?

Thankfully not!!!!

Or was it Joe Pasqualle,

This reminds me of our last choirmaster who loved telling us stories about his experiences in a very loud voice and never listened to any comments from the singers. After two and a half years he still didn't know anyone's name or anything about us and we had heard all his anecdotes several times over.

We spent weeks - months - preparing for a wedding. One of our sopranos was the mother of the bride. When she spoke to him just after the actual wedding., he looked at her in bafflement and asked if she was anything to do with the wedding party.

We now have a new choir mistress. Within two weeks she had asked for a photo of the choir with all names beside the faces and had memorised most of the regulars' names and a bit about them (who was married to whom, the fact that my mother tongue is English) and also concentrated on improving our singing techniques which is what we were continually trying to get her predecessor to do.

LauraNorderr

Or was it Joe Pasqualle,

Yep.

Well done Optimistic1 for making the brave decision to go on a solos holiday. It’s a pity you’re not enjoying it and feel that others are self absorbed.

Don’t be too despondent, I guess it always takes time to get to know someone, and it can be tricky if all they do is talk about themselves. I think this is probably quite normal on first meeting, some are used to being on their own, and talk about what is familiar to them.

I would cut them some slack, and try to take a genuine interest in some of the apparently nicer ones who appeal. It’s not for life, only for a holiday, and you may meet someone you gel with. I have a best friend who I really didn’t like initially, until I got to know her better.

You just have to remember that those me, me, me people are insecure and/or lack confidence. It's a veneer. You can sit back, relax and ignore them. Difficult but it can be done.

Don't worry Optomistic1 I'm in a similar position most weeks at a class I attend. I just keep quiet and let the person talk - and I wonder if it is because she is perhaps rather lonely.
I do wonder sometimes though if I also fall into talking about myself as I too don't see people that often but it doesn't bother me because I'm lucky to have family around if needed.

Optomistic1

I think half my problem is that I too friendly and interested in people and smile and nod too much! They therefore want to tell me everything! As I have said before glad it's not just me!

Maybe I will try a cruise next on my own ? At least as others have said there are lots of other people on there.

I feel for you Optomistic1. Don’t be put off going again, my friend does walking holidays all over the world and has made many good friends. My family say I have ‘speak to me’ stamped on my forehead as I always get everybody’s life stories on holidays and trips, particularly on trains and planes 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think it’s because I smile at people, not meaning anything, I just do.

Optomistic1 That sounds awful. I am so sorry that your solo holiday has not, so far, been a great success.

Unfortunately, there are people who only want to talk about themselves. Conversations should be two-way, with each person contributing something. Because you are such an attentive listener, this probably encourages people to open up and tell you their life stories.

I hope you are able to find someone not so self-absorbed who you can have a companionable conversation with. There are likely to be other people there who feel the same as you and who would enjoy your company.