Invisibility cloak

Yes! It has happened to me several times. I did remark to one waitress that I thought I must be invisible since she had served several tables who had come in after I had, but, like you, I’m not pushy and am fairly patient when it comes to waiting.

What a difference though when you do get good service! Earlier in the week I went to a big DIY store for a few things and had such an attentive young man (from Serbia) who helped me with choosing what I needed and carried it all to my car. It made my day!

Yes it happens often, but now I shout up , my time and money is an important as others.

I think a woman on her own is often ignored so yes you have to be a tiny bit pushy and speak up for yourself You don’t have to be loud or nasty just pleasant but firm I m not naturally forward but I can use it (in a nice way when necessary)
Interesting that the young man that helped you was not English Bellasnana I think they often have much better manners and care than we do

GrannyIvy sorry this happens to you . But I found it did happen at times where I used to live after my husband died. But since moving over 100 miles to the north west nearly 5 years ago it's a completely different world . Never know such caring helpful people . I eat out by myself to have a treat and have to have my food cut up in the kitchen as I can't use a dinner knife due to lack of strength in my hands plus they tremble all the time . But it's never been a problem and I eat my food with a spoon and fork. Having a drink out I always ask a hot or cold drink to be put into a bigger sized mug or cup than the drink so I don't spill it. Even a cold drink I need in a mug as I lost track of the amount of glasses I broke at home .

I went on holiday to Berwick upon Tweed and at the hotel no one batted an eyelid when I asked about cutting my food in fact the chef brought my meal out to me to check it was cut enough for me.

Should say I was born disabled and unfortunately even in this day and age people intolerant and ignorant. Because of my strange walking gait and I can fall. Where I used to live got told to bit early to be drunk . I don't drink alcohol. Had terrible abuse shouted at me but as I got older gave as good as I got.

In the early years when I got worse as the children where young it was easier to go in a wheelchair when my husband was alive. I then realised you become invisible in a wheelchair this was from 1988 . People talk to my husband even asking if I wanted anything. He would say ask her she can speak. My husband had wheelchair rage anyone cut in front of us he used to hit them. I would say I don't need anyone else on my lap as I had our son and sometimes our daughter as well. If anyone said anything he said you saw us coming and still choose to cross in front of us so that's what you get. Hope you have learnt your lesson and give people more consideration.

I have walked with a stick since I was 29. Had people kick my stick away from me if they walked to close.

Like I said living in the north west people are so different. Northerners have a different mind set to those in the West Midlands. The added plus better healthcare here as well.

In the early years of widowhood as I was 45 I didn't say anything if anyone got serviced before me, but after a couple of years I would say excuse me I was here first and wouldn't be ignored . It's not easy to stand up for yourself but you can do it . If I encounter bad behaviour or being ignore I make my present known . I am polite but get the attention I want . The older I get the more I wouldn't put up with bad behaviour or being ignored. But like I said here in the north west never know such kind helpful people . People don't know I am disabled when sitting down it's only when I move it's noticeable.

You are not alone in feeling invisible as it happens to the able bodied and disabled alike. But I have found it depends where you live how you are treated. Well this is just my experience.

Only happened once.
A young lady in a clothes shop literally did not seem to see me and served everyone else first.

I was about to literally jump up and down, when she suddenly saw me.

Hasnt happened since.
I thought it could have been the start of something.

I was going to ask what you were wearing.
But see it happens to you often.

I wondered how tall you are, but that cant be the reason when sitting at a table.

Maybe wear something bright when you are in a hurry on a particular day?

I agree it is annoying.

It happened to me in a shoe shop. It was busy when I arrived. I looked at some shoes and the manager told me to take a seat and that someone would come to serve me.

I sat. All around me were served and I was still sitting. In the end I was the only person in the shop and still no-one came. They were all talking together at the other end of the shop.

So I stalked out, deliberately going past them. At that point the manager asked if I needed help. I replied that it was too late and kept walking. Needless to say, I haven't shopped there (or tried to!) again.

I haven't had this happen.
It sounds upsetting.
So sorry.

I've no idea why.

I have noticed that I have become more invisible the older I have got.
Are we considered of no use to society? It’s ironic that I have more disposable income now than ever in my life, and the shops don’t go to much effort to part me from it. Their loss.

I discovered a great way to get good service on Thursday at Wimbledon - a handsome young son by my side.
Speedy, attentive service from the mainly young female staff.
It really was very noticeable and I commented to my son at the time.

I'm married but when I take myself out it's definitely happened to me.

We live and work in a little place of only 3,048 so all the cafe's and the Fine Dine Indian restaurant around here know me and my hubby so they just serve me properly anyway, I/we're on first-name terms/friendly with them but when in an area when they don't know me, like you, it's like I'm invisible! But I've notice they'll serve single-seated MEN as normal!

If it's one of those places where you pay after the meal, I'll patiently wait for a reasonable amount of time but if I've still not been seen to or order or if my meal hasn't arrived in reasonable time then I just walk out then give them a VERY bad review on on their website or TripAdvisor!

No, it hasn’t happened to me, but thinking about it am very rarely out in a cafe or shop on my own.
That’s it then, it’s the fact that you’re alone that’s causing it.
Sit down and look about you and if needed raise a hand when you catch a waitress looking your way, be proactive.🍀

I was walking out in the countryside recently and I came across a pub and as I was thirsty I went in to order a drink.

I was stood at the bar for nearly half an hour while loads of people came in and were served before me. Finally I said loudly "Don't you serve old women?" and one of young man serving came over and said "Sorry, I didn't see you there." He then went and served somebody else. I never did get my drink.

Makes me wonder has this always happened or is it we are just noticing it more as we get older.

Do younger people have the same thing happen to them I wonder ?

Am I the only one who hasn't noticed this?

Part of my problem is that I am short and mousy.

My neighbour is 5'7", built to last and very forthright so I don't think she ever has this problem.

NotAGran55
You mentioned having a handsome son with you helps.
I find the same with my granddaughter. Waiters and bar staff flock to ask what we (she) need.
Once, when abroad we waited ages to be served, even whilst others after us were attended to.
When we’d finally eaten and wanted to pay, I was asked if I was adding a tip.

“Yes, The tip I give gets smaller the longer I wait to be served. Yours has all gone. Sorry”

I’m not usually ignored, except by doors. I can stand outside or walk up to an automatic door and have to wait for another customer to arrive.

NotSpaghetti

Am I the only one who hasn't noticed this?

I’ve not noticed it.
If I was by passed for my turn I would politely say so.

Regularly used to happen to me when trying to buy a drink in a bar or pub. Completely invisible. This is why women of a certain age should be recruited as spies 🤣

Maybe it is my age in my late sixties and not very tall. Who knows but it is frustrating. Doesn’t happen when my husband is with me or my very attractive daughter! It just got to me a bit yesterday. Actually going up to a bar in the theatre I always get ignored too🤷‍♀️

Hmmmm. We should cash in on this apparent invisibility. Spying? Yes. What else though? Crimes?

I often have to use a wheelchair or a stick, and I can honestly say I have never been ignored or badly treated. People are usually very nice and helpful. My elder brother (88) who is more disabled than I am says the same. Does it help that we are both tall and quite noticeable? Also we are articulate, which probably helps. I live in the NW and he lives in Surrey, but we both have the same experience.

Just when I thought Gransnet was not for me, you have made me laugh. I used to jump up and wave at the door sensor when I was younger; it sometimes worked!

Once, staying at a hall of residence in America, there were toilets in the ladies that automatically flushed. However, one lady was always ignored by the loos. No matter which stall she used it didn't flush. She was so hurt and confused.

NotSpaghetti

Am I the only one who hasn't noticed this?

I have never experienced this. Are the invisible posters sporting granny hairdos, beige clothes, no makeup?