Gransnet forums

Chat

Feeling betrayed by name change

(88 Posts)
Bernadette8 Tue 06-Aug-24 19:39:22

My daughter who announced in front of several family members when her daughter was first born that she was naming her daughter after myself the second name then the other grans name. I was really pleased about this has me and her dad get neglected most of the time even though we share half the baby sitting duties while she is at work for the bast 2 year with her other child. Anyway she has just posted out her Christing cards for the new baby and we’ve notice she has swoped the names around. I am really upset and feel hurt and feeling umilated by this. Do I say something

Skye17 Thu 08-Aug-24 14:52:29

It’s disappointing, and I can see it would have been nicer if your daughter had told you and explained why, but in your place I wouldn’t say anything. (Maybe later if the topic comes up naturally you could ask why it was.)

Bagcarrier Thu 08-Aug-24 17:38:17

I deliberately didn't name my daughter after anyone in the family. Later I kind of wished I had but not doing so avoids offending anyone. They might be offended if they're hyper-sensitive but at least they wouldn't feel left out if the person the child was named after wasn't them. I was given a family name which is unusual and hard to spell and wanted to spare my daughter that, especially as we have an unusual surname. My granddaughter was given a name my daughter likes as a first name and her late paternal great-grandmother's name as a middle name and we're fine with that.

Feverjo Thu 08-Aug-24 17:46:17

Please don't say anything. No good will come of it. Ultimately, their child, their choice. No one is entitled to have another couple's child named after them. Either way they are honoring you. Be thankful.

watermeadow Fri 09-Aug-24 14:39:10

How about the child’s feelings? Would you have liked going through life with Mildred or Ethel or Wendy among your string of names just because your grandparents did?

mabon1 Tue 13-Aug-24 18:58:02

You would feel upset if your daughter had cancer, weighed under five stone, was in constant pain and will possibly not see the month out. Get a grip.

V3ra Tue 13-Aug-24 19:11:39

mabon1 there are no words. So sorry for you and your daughter 😓

VenusDeVillendorf Thu 05-Sept-24 21:25:03

You know, I always hoped that my kids would have kids and I’d be wise enough by that time to enjoy life and count my blessings.

HelterSkelter1 Fri 06-Sept-24 06:15:49

That's sad for you Bernadette if you were expecting your name 2nd and it's now 3rd. But at least it's there.
I would want to find out why the SIL runs upstairs and doesn't come down. Strange behaviour unless there is a reason for it. Not so strange behaviour is for him to want to do something with the son while he is not working.
Have you asked your DD why he does that?

Whiff Fri 06-Sept-24 06:37:20

Parents are allowed to name their childr

Tuaim Fri 06-Sept-24 06:38:58

Maybe they forgot, maybe there was a printing mistake. Maybe there was a change of heart. The child is their own new person with their own future. Be grateful for what you have and focus your disappointment on doing something positive for the future rather than being 'offended'.

Rekarie Fri 06-Sept-24 06:45:21

Don't worry about it.

Whiff Fri 06-Sept-24 06:46:34

Hand trembled. Parents are allowed to name their children whatever they want it's their choice . Grandparents have no rights and rightly so.

What I think is weird is if close members of the family have the same first name . It confusing . I have a friend her first name is the same as her mom's . When here mom was alive and my friend lived at home if you rang up you where asked do you want to speak to M senior or junior. Ridiculous.

It boils down to parents choice. And does it matter. OP do you love your daughter and grandchildren? If so then that's the important thing . Stop being precious about your name . And be glad you are part of their lives.