“Bet Lynch”

“Someone didn’t take a photograph and put it in Facebook her husband did

Galaxy

The thought of anyone 'knowing my mind' fills me with horror.

Quite.

That includes my husband.

I would agree that is probably a relief for himself as it is for the rest of us.

😀 That escalated quickly.

My husband does tell me my humour is quick and merciless.

Anniebach

“Someone didn’t take a photograph and put it in Facebook her husband did

Maybe he’s proud of her and sees her like this every day so just sees her as his happy elderly wife with dementia with clean combed hair, clean clothes and a huge smile They d had a lovely day out for her birthday why does it have to be negative why do you think he was being cruel what should he do ….hide her in the house and never take her out never have her in a photo leave her out of everything, that’s like the thinking in the old days of hiding a child away if they had a mental health or medical problem
Why does it have to be a negative photo …it would be horrible if she looked unhappy, was unkempt, scowling, hitting out, or crying
I suppose because he sees her every day this is his normal (and he didn’t sell it to the newspaper he put it on his fb page) I don’t see why it should be negative it’s only because we haven’t seen her since her glamour days that it shocked us all
I think we should embrace all things in life not hide them away

Elowen33

He still loves his wife and posted the picture saying he and his lovely wife had celebrated her birthday, because he loves her and has seen her every day he does not see what others see, he deleted the post from his Facebook after the nasty comments and is very upset at what others were saying.

He loves her, has stayed with her and cares for her through her dementia which must be very hard.
Another friend said that they do go out quite often, she is not a recluse so perhaps her husband thought he was just sharing a photo of his popular wife enjoying herself on her birthday.

Why make it public. I think it is so wrong

Well he put it on his Facebook page it’s the papers that have spread it but maybe …….
he’s just not ashamed of this stage of her life maybe he’s embracing her just as she is now , maybe he wanted the photo to say ‘’I m still here, I m well and happy and it’s my birthday celebrate with me’
Why can’t we celebrate all our stages in life why do we have to hide someone away who doesn’t look glamorous in the convential way

Because we don't know if she consented to that.

Disgusted at the cruelty of it, how could anyone that cared for you even think of it. I just hope she is cared for in the home she is in and if she has any money spend it on her.
I to thought Iris deeply disrespectful, I never went to see it but when it was on tv I looked and wished I hadn’t.. Never watch anything now with the leads that were in it, it put me right of them..

Galaxy

Because we don't know if she consented to that.

I think that is the essence really.

BlueBelle

Anniebach

“Someone didn’t take a photograph and put it in Facebook her husband did

Maybe he’s proud of her and sees her like this every day so just sees her as his happy elderly wife with dementia with clean combed hair, clean clothes and a huge smile They d had a lovely day out for her birthday why does it have to be negative why do you think he was being cruel what should he do ….hide her in the house and never take her out never have her in a photo leave her out of everything, that’s like the thinking in the old days of hiding a child away if they had a mental health or medical problem
Why does it have to be a negative photo …it would be horrible if she looked unhappy, was unkempt, scowling, hitting out, or crying
I suppose because he sees her every day this is his normal (and he didn’t sell it to the newspaper he put it on his fb page) I don’t see why it should be negative it’s only because we haven’t seen her since her glamour days that it shocked us all
I think we should embrace all things in life not hide them away

BlueBelle
Exactly! He isn’t looking at Bet the same way some people are.
Behind her eyes is still the Bet he loves.

We have no idea what conversations may have taken place between Julie and her husband in the past.
For all we know she may have wanted to remain in the public eye regardless.

I have just looked at the photo. Julie is smiling and her eyes look bright enough. What is cruel about this is that Julie, in old age,being pitied for how she looks now. I read here that it was a photo to celebrate her birthday and put on her husband's Facebook page. Surely it is not being said that he was wrong to do that because in some one's opinion she has lost her physical beauty and the public shouldn't see that.

I agree with your comment BlueBelle.
When DH was ill and dying I was with him the entire time and to me he was still the lovely man he had always been.
We had photographs taken at GD's birthday a few weeks before he died and looking back at them I was shocked to see that he was a shadow of himself and barely recognisable.

Thanks Parsley one other who sees it like me
Why is beauty only make up and eyelashes why can’t beauty be in smiling eyes and wrinkles
She has dementia ! many of us will have it too should we be hidden from the public shut away in a room because we are not worthy to be in a happy photograph because we might scare people with our new ‘old face’ and because like babies and children we can’t give permission
I ve no idea whether he’s a good man or a toxxer but he s been in her life 17 or 18 years apparently he regularly takes her out and about so she is seen by those around her area and hopefully no one has died of shock at her appearance

My friends husband sent me photos of my friend when she was taken into a home to show me she had settled in she didn’t look happy she looked totally empty totally ‘gone’ and no she couldn’t have given permission but it was a stage in life he felt able to share with me and I was grateful for that She was a very neat person with lovely hair who cared a lot about her appearance and he did his best for her He took her out a lot but she never looked happy she always looked cross and empty I d rather see Julie Goodyears happy smile
The papers (was it the DM) were the bad guys in this to put contrasting photos up in a shock/horror headline which they ‘took off’ his fb page

No wonder girls get false eyelashes, filler lip thingies, and Turkey teeth
Encompass different stages in our lives good and bad

Why must it be a choice between locked away or on Facebook

BlueBelle for me it’s all about consent and Julie’s right to privacy in the midst of this horrendous illness.

It is not about eyelashes, leopard print and lippy.

Bet Lynch was not who she was anymore than any other role she took on.

Privacy does not mean being shut away from the world, for me it means not putting images or over sharing on FB or any other social media platform, without consent.

Surely one of the reasons for botox,etc is the pressure to continually present yourself on social media.

Esmay

I thought that it was very cruel and thoughtless to publish a photograph of Julie looking so unattractive.
If she were in sound mind - she wouldn't have liked it .
Why hasn't he attended to her dental problem.
Dentists make home visits .
As my mother aged and lost her good looks I was always sensitive to her needs .

Re teeth, it’s not necessarily that easy - dementia can make people very difficult and uncooperative. My mother stopped brushing her teeth and wouldn’t let anyone else do it, no matter how gently and tactfully they tried.

My first thought was how happy she looks.

Also re her teeth.If she has dentures I would imagine it is like my mothers hearing aids and glasses.She takes them out/off and we never know where they are.

Susan yes exactly my mums hearing aid used to go flying although it was her only means of communication and esmay another presumption my mum wouldn’t let anyone near her mouth she bit the dentist and he refused to see her any more she may well have dentures that she refuses to wear

I think Julie Goodyear was a fiesty strong woman who would probably have said “ eff it, let them see me suffering, let them see what this disease has done to me, shock ‘em”
So for those saying but she didn’t give permission how do you know perhaps she had said before her illness took hold ‘show it how it is warts and all’ we don’t know do we we are all playing a guessing game
On fb people who live in the area are saying he often takes Julie out snd about so they will be used to seeing her but it was a shock to us who haven’t seen her for years

The newspaper was to blame fully and totally for invading their privacy for a shock horror story

Facebook gives privacy?