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Feeling like I missed out on so much in life

(132 Posts)
travelsafar Sun 27-Apr-25 21:58:06

As I've got older I feel more and more I missed so much in life. Travel,
Owning a property, learning a language and musical instrument. I feel I could have done more
education wise if I'd had
guidance....would have loved to go to
university. I always wanted to be a teacher or librarian. Sadly I just had run of the mill jobs until my last position as a manager.
What do you feel you missed out on
In life????

Primrose53 Mon 28-Apr-25 12:04:34

I regret spending too much time doing what others wanted me to do. I should have had the confidence to do what I wanted and not been swayed by other people. I also worried about what people thought of me and I always put others first.

I would say to young people now “listen to your heart because you only get one crack at life.”

Sarnia Mon 28-Apr-25 12:14:09

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

Primrose53 Mon 28-Apr-25 12:31:22

Sarnia

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

One of my best friends joined the Wrens and was dreadfully homesick and had to come home after a very short time. She ended up working in shops and doing cleaning for people although she was very bright indeed.
After the Wrens experience nobody advised or supported her really.
She married a very nice, quiet man who was a home bird so she became one too and always wondered what if ……

She was married 45 years and her husband died last year and she has now booked her first ever foreign holiday as they never went abroad. It is like seeing a bird released from captivity! She is so happy and relaxed now and able to make her own choices.

dogsmother Mon 28-Apr-25 12:39:19

YES Monica.
Today is actually the first day of the rest of your life. No more regrets just do what you can to make the most of what is possible. See what is there and grab with both hands.

Allira Mon 28-Apr-25 12:49:08

Sarnia

I wanted to join the Wrens but my Dad flatly refused to see his only daughter join the Royal Navy. Staying at home resulted in 2 unpleasant marriages. I often wonder what if..............

I was set to work overseas but then met DH and didn't. I sometimes wonder what if .....

Norah Mon 28-Apr-25 12:54:02

travelsafar perhaps look to what you have done - you were a manager in your last job, that is doing more. Perhaps you raised amazing children? You have a lovely friend circle if I recall correctly.

Similar to you, I would have liked to go to University. I didn't, I married the love of my life at 16 years old, was pregnant 8 times and gave birth to 4 lovely daughters -- education enough. grin

I'm happy with my life, boring to many, but wonderful for me.

Serenity prayer!

mabon1 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:39:51

Stop moaning and get on with the life you have. Surely if you really wanted to do all those things you could have rolled up your sleeves and done something about it. Procrastination if the their of time.

NittWitt Mon 28-Apr-25 13:41:31

I do wish I'd gone to university. My parents hoped I would but accepted it when I said I didn't see the point (in my teenage ignorance).
Neither parents nor teachers tried to suggest reasons why I might want to go. I'm certain the teachers would have done so if I'd been a boy.
However I did get an OU degree later.

I was thinking about this subject this morning, tho, and there's always the possibility that another life path could have had disastrous results, in some way.
So I'm with those saying make the best of what you have now.

MayBee70 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:41:32

mabon1

Stop moaning and get on with the life you have. Surely if you really wanted to do all those things you could have rolled up your sleeves and done something about it. Procrastination if the their of time.

Nice confused..

MayBee70 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:42:27

This is a classic example of my I sometimes wonder why I go onto gransnet…

Norah Mon 28-Apr-25 13:45:52

mabon1

Stop moaning and get on with the life you have. Surely if you really wanted to do all those things you could have rolled up your sleeves and done something about it. Procrastination if the their of time.

Please be kind.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:46:19

I wish I’d tried harder at grammar school. I kind of bobbed along. Then laziness and hormones did for me! 😂

AGAA4 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:50:59

I regretted not doing a nursing course. My parents were against me going away to a teaching hospital.
Instead I became a librarian which I found suited me so much better.

When my DH died at only 51 I felt that my happy life was over but decided I didn't want to regret not taking other opportunities that were open to me. I moved house, changed job and became a grandmother to six. Many of the friends I have now my DH never knew.
I don't have many regrets as I've found that things I may have wanted to do have been replaced with other things just as rewarding.

Aldom Mon 28-Apr-25 13:52:25

mabon1

Stop moaning and get on with the life you have. Surely if you really wanted to do all those things you could have rolled up your sleeves and done something about it. Procrastination if the their of time.

Unpleasant as ever mabon1.
The OP has really suffered, but she never complains on here. She has picked herself up since her truly dreadful experience during COVID.
Please, think before you speak.

Bea65 Mon 28-Apr-25 13:52:51

MayBee70

This is a classic example of my I sometimes wonder why I go onto gransnet…

My sentiments too!

M0nica Mon 28-Apr-25 13:54:23

MayBee70 I fully agree with both your last posts, but especially the first.

I know so many people who for all sorts of reasons got bashed about a bit, or had parents who didn't support their ambitions, but got up and kept going and succeeded in their ambitions despie the set backs..

As they say, When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going

But, as Norah says, remember the wording of the serenity prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

MayBee70 Mon 28-Apr-25 14:02:45

I did really well at school but, from a poor background left school at 16. Maybe my memory is at fault but, when I had a careers guidance interview at school, after achieving very good grades in my O Levels, no one pointed out to me that if I chose to go to university I would get a grant. Perhaps I was just desperate to leave school anyway.

Jaxjacky Mon 28-Apr-25 14:21:53

I’m fortunate I’ve had and still do have, a good life, it’s had hiccups, hopefully not too many to come, two careers I enjoyed, the first of which I fell into.
Loads of travel, two great children and grandchildren, a supportive, loving husband.
Just wish I’d looked after my teeth better - a minor regret

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Mon 28-Apr-25 14:25:14

You sound like Pam Ayers Jax! 😁

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Mon 28-Apr-25 14:25:27

*Ayres

Grandadpete Mon 28-Apr-25 14:27:13

escaped

The only thing I feel I missed out on was having a brother or sister. Especially the older I got, and now.

I had two older brothers, in my experience you didn't miss much
Both very selfish, gave my parents the run around , awful brothers to me also , just not interested in me

Macadia Mon 28-Apr-25 14:39:17

Thank you for your cheerfulness, keepingquiet

Allira Mon 28-Apr-25 14:42:05

Grandadpete

escaped

The only thing I feel I missed out on was having a brother or sister. Especially the older I got, and now.

I had two older brothers, in my experience you didn't miss much
Both very selfish, gave my parents the run around , awful brothers to me also , just not interested in me

I had two lovely brothers.
Sadly, both are gone now and I miss them.

However, I did always want a sister as well!

Allira Mon 28-Apr-25 14:45:34

Aldom

mabon1

Stop moaning and get on with the life you have. Surely if you really wanted to do all those things you could have rolled up your sleeves and done something about it. Procrastination if the their of time.

Unpleasant as ever mabon1.
The OP has really suffered, but she never complains on here. She has picked herself up since her truly dreadful experience during COVID.
Please, think before you speak.

Oh, I think some posters do think before they speak, unfortunately, Aldom.

travelsafar
It's never too late to learn a language or a musical instrument. Do you have a local U3A group? Ours offers beginners' French, Spanish, ukulele lessons and lots of other interesting groups.

Applegran Mon 28-Apr-25 14:47:34

So glad and impressed that you are in recovery from alcaholism - and I send you lots of good wishes