Feeling like I missed out on so much in life

I think you're right keepingquiet

I took this thread to be a "two roads diverged" thought but looking back can see from the title Feeling like I missed out on so much in life as a thread about regret!

Like you probably, I made choices that were the best at the time I don't berate myself at all and am truly grateful for the life I live and have lived.

No significant regrets here!

I have few regrets and am very thankful for the life I have had. There have been ups and downs ofcourse I never had a pony
Life continues to be interesting and full.

As for the travel I haven't done, I just need to remember that neither Will Shakespeare nor Rabbie Burns ever left their native lands. Just look what they achieved.

I took up learning Gaelic at age 72 which has led to making new friends and holidays on the Western Isles.

Keep on with the piano Lucky . Years of pleasure ahead.

Regrets are pointless.

Never let what was or could have been spoil what is and could be.

eazybee

Travelsafar, the Open University was created for people like you.

It is quite costly now though. I was lucky enough to have started an education degree at the age of 36 which I completed at the age of 40; there were no tuition fees and I received a small maintenance grant. I went on to work as a teacher in further education for 20 years which I loved.

Regrets are just lost opportunities and IMO they are all experiences some good and others not so ..

Not knowing why my birth mother never gave me the correct name of my birth father…this has totally messed up my head at times as never been able to trace him despite being on Ancestry 🥲

The woman who gave birth to me never loved me or made life easy for me, consequently I made stupid decisions during my teenage years. Got involved with men for the wrong reasons, had a child far too young when I could have made a career for myself and had a very different life

BUT heyho I'm nearly 64 now, the woman is still alive no longer in my life, I retired a month ago. I have many many regrets but I can't turn the clock back.
I no longer have to work, I love being at home, adore spending time in my garden, I'm off to visit cousins in England I haven't seen for 13 years next week. No money worries. Few health concerns but nothing major so all in all I'm content with life

I regret many things I did. Not so much what I didn’t do. Like a few other posters, I lacked guidance so made many mistakes and upset many people which I hugely regret. However here I am with a good husband, nice home and garden and enough money. Can’t complain.

Nothing I dont think. Thankfully.
I am a bit concerned I am not going to get things right going forward.
I could end up for example, doing too much work, and not enough play.

escaped

The only thing I feel I missed out on was having a brother or sister. Especially the older I got, and now.

I feel exactly the same. I know those with siblings may disagree, but being the Only One is a responsibility.

Regrets are part of life and whatever you did you can't undo anyway. Any decisions that you ever make are taking account of the circumstances and information you had at the time -so although things might change later - back at the time it was still right!!
I have spent my life wondering what it would have been like if I had been able to hear normally and not wear hearing aids. Things like going swimming, hearing conversations from someone in another room to you without having to go and find them, and stuff that normal hearing people take for granted.

Looking backwards all the time means you never see the opportunities ahead of you until they have passed you by.

So stop regretting the past and make sure you take any opportunities coming your way now and in the future.

And make sure you train your mind to see opportunities when they appear. Too often those who spend their life regreting the past, do not see opportunities when they appear, not even when they ring the bell and introduce themselves.

Thankyou keeping quiet, my sentiments too! Many things I would have liked to do - but so many things I have never had to endure.

If anybody starts a thread with any degree of looking back or negativity, they will fairly swiftly be jumped on and told to get on with things.

Possibly also that old chestnut about other people being worse off will appear.

Not everybody has the resilience, strength, finances and support network to be constantly pushing forward.

It's OK to not be OK.

Well said M0nica - cheer up OP, accept and celebrate who and what you are .
If you are constantly looking backwards you risk missing out on now and on the blessings you could enjoy. You also risk falling flat on your face if you don’t look ahead at where you are going
You can’t blame lack of guidance or other people all the time, you are you and your experiences are what shaped you.
So learn that language (Duolingo is free) or to play an instrument!
You can’t change the past but you can change how you cope with the present.

This thread has made me think about how extraordinarily lucky I have been for most, if not all, of my 84 years. A great education in my homeland of Scotland, both at school and university; a home full of books and carte blanche to read as widely as I chose; a job that took me out of my native land and comfort zone; opportunity to travel, though I would have liked to visit Asia and South America. I count myself lucky in that the end of my marriage gave me further opportunities to 'be myself'; and, most of all, two sons and their families, whose love and support make me the happiest of octogenarians. What have I missed out on? Well, I could have learnt to ski...

Our lives are what they are. Regrets are pointless. Much better to take ones life in ones hands and make the most of what is left to us than sit around regretting the past

I agree Monica Best to acknowledge regrets then look at alternatives and opportunities in the here and now.

Also thinking about the "right" things that have happened in your life is a good approach.

My parents were not perfect. However, they got me a great education (11+) . Encouraged me to go to Uni. Then to travel and live in America for a while. My regret is I didn't appreciate it at the time. I wish they were alive now, so I could hug them and thank them.

crazyH

I love this:
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and
the Wisdom to know the difference

Me too! But it’s so much easier to read and quote it than actually do it

lafergar

If anybody starts a thread with any degree of looking back or negativity, they will fairly swiftly be jumped on and told to get on with things.

Possibly also that old chestnut about other people being worse off will appear.

Not everybody has the resilience, strength, finances and support network to be constantly pushing forward.

It's OK to not be OK.

👏👏👏👏 Spot on

Yes, annodomini - and either loved it, or, like me, decided it was one thing I could do without!

Travelsafar You have much to be proud of. I remember your terrible experience during COVID.
Since then I know you have found the courage to move home and start afresh. I don't think you are being at all negative. Just looking back and thinking of what might have been. I think we all do that from time to time, but still manage to live our lives positively and count our blessings.
I wish the best for you.

Well said lafergar. At the risk of harping on, when my mother took me to a dentist aged 11 and let him take all my teeth out, I knew my life would never be the same as other people's. Any bit of confidence I had, which wasn't much living in a violent, abusive household, went out of the window.

I've had a reasonably good life in spite of a bad start. But I do wish I'd been born into a nice normal family instead of being put up for adoption at the age of two weeks. It's hard to realise that neither parent wanted to take on the responsibility of raising me.

“We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” ― Marcel Proust