Child free and smug

fancyflowers

I can't imagine my life without my adult children and grandchildren. One adult child lives five minutes away and one a train journey away and we see them both regularly. They are my world.
I do have childless friends though, and they seem happy with their lives and hobbies, so I get that children are not everyone's choice.

I do love my family, but would never say they are ‘my world’, but all due respect to you. It’s not because I live an action packed life, it’s just that I have a horror of being a ‘burden’, or even a responsibility.
I hate the thought that my family would be having conversations about who was going to ‘have me’ at Christmas or on holiday, though they have never given me any indication that this would happen. I think it’s because I was always the one in charge ( in this part of Scotland it’s called the ‘ heid sherang’), that I hate being seen as in need of care!
I have told all my family and left instruction that, should I have dementia and beg them not to put me in a care home, they must ignore me and do it sooner rather than later. Good dinners and an evening gin and tonic are all I ask!

I have both DC and DGC. i do not have a single photo of any of them on my phone.

Thankfully I do not mix with the kind of people who indulge in endless descendant talk. All my friends I made through shared interests and that is what we talk - probably just as boring to outsiders.

“…descendant talk”😁

Aveline. Do hope you still have your family atound to help when you are old and needy, some will not be so fortunate. Some will have losses to illness, needs to move for work. I never had my children with an expectation they will look after me when old.

M0nica

I have both DC and DGC. i do not have a single photo of any of them on my phone.

Thankfully I do not mix with the kind of people who indulge in endless descendant talk. All my friends I made through shared interests and that is what we talk - probably just as boring to outsiders.

But you did post on the genealogy thread

You wouldn’t like my phone M0nica. I have 4 GC ranging in age from 10-18 and have over 1000 photos and video clips dating back to when they were newborns up to recent holidays and days out we’ve enjoyed together.

I don’t inflict them on anyone else. It’s my own personal photo album and it gives me pleasure to look back on them 😊

I have lots of photos of my descendants on my computer ready at the touch of a mouse.

Allira genealogy deals with ancestors not descendants.

Magenta8

I have friends who had three children in quick succession shortly after they married. I delayed having children for financial reasons and they used to tease me and say that my two cats wouldn't look after me when I was old.

Their children all grown up now and one lives in Japan, one in Australia and the youngest lives in China. Mine all live in the same county as I do.

It just shows that having children does not necessarily ensure that they will be there to care for you in old age.

I didn’t have my children to care for me in old age.
I’m currently caring for an entitled and miserable 96 year old and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
My children know full well that, whilst I will always be delighted to see them , I shall never ever be expecting them to jump when I call and will never make them feel guilty for not being at my beck and call 24/7.

I wasn't implying that you have the right to expect your children to look after you in old age. I never thought so as I don't think it is fair. Nevertheless. I am very glad that they live close enough so that I am able to see them all regularly.

None of us has children to look after us in old age. But like it or not this is what will probably happen to most of us, one way or another.

DH had a heart attack and complications 5 years ago. I was quite capable of coping, but DC were down like a shot, even tjough both faced long difficult journeys and, yes, they were both a real help, sharing visiting and taking on some ofnthe driving between hospital and home.

As a result, when we decided to downsize last year we decided to move somewhere more convenient for our children. Dd recced our planned new location, liked it so much she bought a house there herself so she lives a 10 minute drive from our new abode.

We do not need help now and intend to stay independent. There is a highly rated care home, three doors down from our new home. But if the flak does hit the fan. It will be easier for both our children to deal with any emergency.