Soon to be daughter in laws kids Christmas dilemma

There are so many small inexpensive things to buy kids
at Christmas it should not be difficult to get them something.
Buy a couple of chocolate Santas , you can always justify
a reason to eat them yourself if they are not needed as gifts.

If you live in the UK / The Works sell a fantastic selection of crafts/books for adults and children.
I use this shop a great deal for inexpensive gifts .

Why now , in August?

I think leaving kids out is a completely terrible thing to do 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kids have no vote in any of the decisions their parents make and deserve kindness whenever possible.

And if you have any hope of a positive relationship with your DIL, ignoring her older kids will destroy that

Very true MercuryQueen.

I have a friend whose parents divorced and her dad remarried. His second wife had 2 daughters both
younger than her. My friend, an only
child, lived with her mum.

She has a vivid memory of visiting her dad and meeting her step sisters. She adored her dad.
The first thing she noticed were photos of the sisters on the mantlepiece but none of her.

As I sad before, buy presents for them all!
I always keep "tree" presents which I give to any visiting children at Christmas time. Often just a pretty purse containing coins or sweets.

Exactly. Accepting a child and making them feel welcomed is never wrong, imo.

What you do now will be very important in the future. So I think that the amount spent is not important, compared to the fact that they are all treated equally from day one. Whatever happens , they will be part of your family as your new daughter in law is. To make a difference now would be very hurtful to both them and her and also your son, as he is starting out with a new family so tobe welcoming and to be seen to be welcoming is what will matter both now and in the future. So I would try to find out what their interests are, an a possibility could be a book or something that is about their hobbies or interests. So you will be showing that you have been interested enough to find out about their lives, from your daughter in law. Another thing would be a nice card each with a voucher from somewhere like boots or waterstones or even argos, depending if they have these stores near them. That way they can choose what they want, or it can be used to buy something that they regularly buy and then the cash they save can be spent elsewhere.

By asking your d i l about them and their interests, again you show that you acknowledge their part in the family, so that you are not ignoring them, but obviously at the moment you know little about them. Who knows what the future may bring, but it is important that you start on the right foot.

These children may be very apprehensive about the fact that their mother is about to have another child, and need to know that they are still important and have their place in her life. Therefore to some extent you will also be part of their lives, whether this is a large or small part. If you get the opportunity to be an actual part of their lives, then you will build your own relationship with them, and it may bring you much pleasure in the future watching them grow.

If you are worried about this, you might speak to your son, and ask him if he thinks that they would like a book or a voucher. Again you are showing that you understand his new situation and are accepting and welcoming this change. You will obviously be very excited about this new baby, which is natural, but I think you could really alienate all or some of the family if you left these children out. Just think back to when your son was their age and how you might have felt, if you were in your d i l 's shoes. Wishing you happiness in the new family and welcoming you to gransnet. You will find a great deal of knowledge and interest on here, some that will be helpful and others that you may disagree with or ignore. That will be your choice but I think this can be a great community to be part of and be in contact with, so please keep reading and joining in the many discussions here.