I wonder what you would do .......

You are absolutely right to be hurt by this underhanded “coup d’état” and sadly your decision to withdraw from the choir totally understandable.
Could you fight back? You probably feel it’s not worth the aggro and why should you sink to her level.
I hope that the “better” members of the choir will appreciate all you have done and say so but there will always be those who seek power and the spotlight.
She sounds like one of these - you are better than this.

You're not wrong. x

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I know what your choir meant to you. I know you’re not in the best place now to take this onboard, but!! she will be found out others members will see that the emperor doesn’t have any new clothes.
It won’t happen tomorrow or next week, but it will happen.

What a sad end to your long association with a group where you should have been valued for your loyalty and publicity skills. It is likely that this newcomer's enthusiasm will wane when she realises the commitment involved, dealing with the duties of being chairman and publicity coordinator.

You’ve done exactly the right thing in leaving and your talents in every sense will be appreciated elsewhere, I’m sure. Good luck in the new choir! 🎶

Thank you.

I am not in a position to fight this as even thinking about sends me into atrial fibrillation - and this is something I need to avoid. I feel I just need to put it behind me and move on - not so easy at this stage of life. I guess there is always one fly in the ointment.

You are definitely not wrong!
If this has spoiled the choir for you too much have a rest from it , but weigh up carefully before leaving
Your friends will see what has happened and stand by you if you decide to stay , think of the music and ignore the horrible woman

I totally recognise this as a scenario of the powerful disrupter from a Book Group I used to belong to. It is very hurtful and the feeling of powerlessness to prevent it happening gnaws.

In the case I think that you only have to sit upon the bank and the body of your enemy will float by you (which philosopher was that?). I suspect that she will find publicity is not her forte after all, people won’t turn up to the performances like they did and there will be criticism and discontent, more members will leave and the choir will wither away.

I’m glad you’ve found another choir to sing with and I’m sure that soon you’ll be very glad you have made the move, as will others.

I am sorry this woman has ruined things for you in your choir. You have done the right thing in leaving and joining another choir. I doubt things will be as good without you.
Hope you enjoy the new choir.

You've done the right thing by leaving Luckygirl as IMO it is not just the attitude of this person that is unacceptable, but the fact that those you have sung with and done your best for have allowed this to happen.

Enjoy your new choir.

I may well have done the same faced with this annoyance.

However, I may also have taken it as a sign that there's nothing wrong with someone else having a go.

I hope your new choir is bringing you the joy the last one did- just move onwards and upwards...

Luckygirl
You might just yet have your day.
There’s every possibility that an issue might arise and you’re the only person who knows the answer.
Oh wouldn’t that be luverly 🎼🎼🎼

I am very happy with the idea of someone else having a gfo, but not happy about the way in which this has been achieved - it is devious and underhand.

I also feel that the designs she is putting forward are quite simply tacky. They have cartoons downloaded from AI and are in my opinion simply not appropriate to the sort of sometimes deeply spiritual music that the choir performs.

Luckygirl this is awful. Try to draw a line under it and not be bitter although you have every reason to be. Go and join a new choir and enjoy. The old one did not deserve you and will very likely come to regret it.

What's that famous Gransnet saying?
"When people show you who they are... "

You've done a great job over many years. If no-one else stood against this lady as chair, the rest of the choir will have to live with her 🤷🏻

Time for a fresh start, with no responsibilities for you. You deserve and need a peaceful life, not one with any aggravation.

Keep singing! 🎶🎶🎶

Very hard to accept that something we have given our heart and soul to is of little importance to others. I wonder if that's the core of this.

Have you definitely joined the new choir and what's it like?

I would trip her up in a dark alley.

I am so sorry that this has happened and am glad you have found an alternative.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, you are not wrong or unreasonable. In fact this all looked horribly familiar to me, again in a choir setting. Several years ago I had taken responsibility over a long period of time for obtaining choir music, putting hours of my time in and also some of my own money. Two people joined the choir and it became clear they wanted to take this over. They were already very friendly with the choral director and they simply did a quiet takeover, I was bundled out! I think in these situations other people just don’t want to stand up to strong personalities but I agree it’s terribly disappointing. You’ve done the right thing in walking away, it’s what I did too. I joined another choir which I really enjoy, I hope you’re enjoying yours too. The original choir I was in has sadly since folded!

I feel for you. A slightly similar thing happened to me and I left the club after a vote of no confidence. Pleased now but still feel hurt for all the time and effort - it was three years ago! I am never volunteering for anything again and committees wonder why they don't have enough members - they need to look at how they treat people.

Go to your new choir and just enjoy the singing.

Playing devil’s advocate here.

As in any settled demographic, one new member with new ideas can upset the equilibirum and put noses out of joint among the old guard but presumably she was voted into the position of chair by a majority of the trustees or at the AGM depending on what the constitution demands.

After seven years, perhaps the publicity material was in need of a fresh look. It’s natural that you feel protective of what you designed but again, presumably the new look was discussed at committee and voted on.

Sadly, having stepped down from the committee, you lost you right to have a say.

Now, someone needs to keep an eye on how the new look is being received. Are flyers in the new design catching the eye of the public sufficient for them to take one when they see them and buy a ticket? That’s the main thing, that tickets are selling and your productions are well attended.

These things aren’t set in stone. I am involved with live event promotion and we design in-house. Our copy for several hundred A3 posters and A5 flyers goes to the printer once a month. Costs are low.

If the new design isn’t received well by the public, the society could always revert to the old design. It’s a choral society not a national or multinational where the slightest change of logo is extraordinarily expensive because shop fronts, vehicles, badging, labelling, letterheads etc etc all have to be changed.

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face over this. It is just a piece of paper after all that will soon end up in the bin. It’s not unlike the thread here about revenge. Better to hold you head high and be gracious about the change, however put out you feel. The enjoyment is in the singing. I would urge you to stay with the choir.

The OP has already left the choir PaynesGrey and it's the way in which this was done that has been upsetting.

So sorry this has happened Luckygirl . Doubtless her influence will impact on other aspects of the choir and there will be others who are affected. I think you have acted positively to protect your own well being and hope you find joy and peace with your new choir.

I would be spitting teeth. What an underhand and nasty way to treat you after all your dedication and hard work when your choir was in dire straits.
She had a nerve thinking she had the right to question your logo and designs in the first place and her behaviour smacks of someone with the hump.
Have you spoken to any of your choir colleagues about this? How do they feel about her treatment of you? Her high handed ways will result in a lot more ladies leaving.
You are naturally feeling hurt, I know I would feel the same but I sincerely hope your new choir will be a resounding success and give you a place where you can be a valued part of a team.

What everyone else says to you OP.
What’s really disgraceful tho is that others have just gone along with it and not said in committee that they need to speak to you first as you’d agreed to carry on and had done so much over the years.People never fail to disappoint as my Dad used to say.☹️
Hope you will be happy and better served with your new choir.