I wonder what you would do .......

So - they have taken over the publicity, stopped people messaging each other and want to vet the newsletter - Putin would love this .......

plus, one of them is paying herself (and her crony) without that being agreed by members.

Her next move will no doubt be "harvesting grants" from public bodies such as your local council . To pay the expenses and remuneration of herself and her crony.

New Broom perhaps does not realise that the Charity Commission rules (and the choir's CC Governing Document) are legally binding, not something any elected office holder can ignore or rewrite to suit herself .

It sounds as though you’re well out of it Luckygirl. Time to start afresh in your new choir and leave all the angst behind you.
I hope you’ll feel you’ve made the right move and at the right time.

I actually feel very sad about it. It has caused me lots of grief and sleepless nights. It has been a truly lovely group of shared music makers for about 10 years - we have sung together, laughed together, supported each other.

And now we have a power crazy paranoid duo at the helm which is destroying all the good that has gone before.

I have to walk away and try and let it all go - not easy .....

I know the bonds formed in shared music-making are deeper than just the singing or the playing, there’s something very therapeutic about it, so I can understand that it’s not a simple case of walking out of one choir into another.
However, it’s not going to be the same choir now, is it? It won’t be the same happy, creative place for you.
No, leaving won’t be easy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if, before too long, some of your friends join you in your new choir.

The choir has struggled in the last few years with the covid challenge ... all choirs were in the same boat ... and we have dragged it back from the abyss. So I don't want anyone else to leave as I have been a big part of it's rescue. I hope someone will be tough enough to stand up to them.

Luckygirl3

Thank you.

I am not in a position to fight this as even thinking about sends me into atrial fibrillation - and this is something I need to avoid. I feel I just need to put it behind me and move on - not so easy at this stage of life. I guess there is always one fly in the ointment.

Enjoy your new choir and the new people, maybe offer to help with any publicity they may need.
As others have said "bossy boots" will not reign for long, your previous choir will have regrets.
Many years ago a similar thing happened to me when I was Treasurer of the PA at a prep school. The new "bossy boots" could not cope and when I was asked to return I found that that I had "other commitments"!
I hope you enjoy your new choir.

Thank you. I am sure I will.

I am so sorry to read your post and fully appreciate how you must be feeling. These women are Queen Bees and I have come across enough of them at the WI and U3A. I hope you really enjoy your new choir and meet lots of people who are your kind. Perhaps in time you will hear news from the old choir that things are not as they once were and the Queen Bee is to blame! Look after yourself and enjoy your music.

As a singer in three choirs I have read your story with interest. I am so sorry that what has been a joy and delight has caused you so much pain. I fully understand why you have left and I hope you will be very happy and stress free in the new one.

I have just had my arm twisted to go on the Committee of one of my choirs and am treading very carefully. Our Chair is not doing a good job, and is reluctant to delegate aspects of her role even though she is way behind with her timings instead of planning ahead.
We have a new Publicity Officer who is doing a fantastic job and gets little appreciation from her, even though he has managed to get the printers to print items without charge!

Singing is such a joy and so good for the body, mind and soul.

After my experience I would say avoid the committee. I know it is tempting to "do your bit" and help, but it really feels to me as if putting your head above the parapet, however well intended, does put you in the firing line.
I won't make that mistake again.
Enjoy your singing!

Just to bring things up to date ......

I received an unexpected visit from one of the singers and her OH, bringing me a lovely card and some flowers and telling me they were sorry I had left - and organising to meet up again soon. I also had a message to say that a few wanted to take me out to lunch at some point.

I also received in the post a card signed by lots of the singers wishing me well and thanking me for what I had done. But then I learned that the person who initiated this card and took it round during the break in a rehearsal for friends to sign was stopped by the joint chairs and "told off" for doing this. I am quite overcome by this - how do they think they have any right to be telling other grown adults what they should or should not be doing? It is a quite extraordinary situation and I feel very sad to be the target of such dislike. What can be going on in their heads? It is utterly bizarre.

It was such a friendly group where people helped and supported each other and were appreciative of each person's contribution.

😲 that is beyond the pale, Luckygirl

It's lovely that some of the members have contacted you and are sorry that you have left. I wonder how long these joint chairs (Queen Bees) will last before they move on to destroy another happy institution?.

It is indeed. I feel so sad about it all. Two strong personalities disrupting a happy organisation.

I would like to have been that member who was stopped and
told off
I like to think that all the choir members would have been behind me when I told the joint chairs very politely where to go 🤬

Yes ... it is extraordinary. I am so glad I was not there ... I cannot bear confrontation. So sad ...