I wonder what you would do .......

Maybe let others know where you will be singing in future?
Perhaps they will join you...

You asked in the OP “What would you do…”

Firstly, I’d walk away from the situation without a backward glance! (AF vs carrying on letting this upset me? No contest).

Secondly, the “You will be pleased to know…” in the letter sounds rather sarcastic, I’d just say “Naturally, I’ll be moving on to new choral projects” and ask for a refund.

I did wonder too whether any of your co-choristers are on Gransnet…hopefully not!

I wondered that too!!
I had not intended any sarcasm so I will redraft that bit. Thank you for that insight.

I meant to add - that no wonder you’re upset, I’m pleased my comment helped with the letter. Always good I think to have someone else read a letter written when we’re upset, or re-reading it oneself having slept on it.

Also, of course, it should be “AF vs not letting it get to me” 😊

Good luck with your new choir.

In September when a new chair was needed she put herself forward in conjunction with the existing treasurer (her friend), who has now taken up a joint post with her whilst retaining her treasurer hat. When someone on the committee quite reasonably asked that we look into how this might sit with the Charity Commission she was bullied dreadfully. It was disgraceful. It all went through in the absence of any other candidates. It is worrying as the Treasurer wants the chair to be paid - this has never been a part of the deal - we have all always taken things on voluntarily.

Red flags here!
As joint chairs are they both planning to be paid??

Red flags indeed!
She wanted this person to be paid for putting stuff on social media, which I had always done but she wanted to take it over.

It's all horrid stuff when we just want to enjoy singing ......... I can't deal with all this and wish I had never volunteered really. I try to tell myself that all the publicity I have done over the last 7 years was productive; oh - and the programme booklets which each took a massive amount of work.

Luckygirl -
In my case it's only two years of putting my all into volunteering .
I was told that I was taking over from the lady who had suddenly died .
I'm sorry that this lady has passed ,but I'd tolerated her appalling attitude towards me and constantly cleared up her mistakes .
Suddenly our own Miss Mountshaft ,who already has a time consuming position is now in charge .
I have far more experience than she does and she's constantly asking my advice.
After I did about six hours I was told to go home.
In fact she couldn't wait to get rid of me .
I'm still reeling from the shock of last weekend .
It's left a bitter taste in my mouth .
I might just unsticks and go elsewhere.
I wish you every good luck in finding some volunteering which is worthy of you .

I have 3 possible choir options in front of me and am trying one out tonight with my DD. The only problem is the stairs up to the hall - watch this space!

Having been a member of musical/operatic groups since my teens, you have my sympathy as over the years I’ve had so many situations when I feel my good nature was tested. An incompetent bully took over a group I loved and cutting the story short, I left, leaving behind good friends I had known for many years. I ruminated and mourned it like a bereavement.

I also asked myself why no one had taken my side, but the truth is people want to hang on naturally to what they have and not side with a rebel, even if they see injustice. Self preservation and I understand that now.

I too joined another group but was amazed to hear recently that “Miss Mountshaft” and her cohort had gone! I’ve returned to the sadly depleted company and am so pleased to see my friends again as it was the social side too I enjoyed.

So you never know, things change. Chin up and as Noel Coward said “Rise above it darling” or something to that effect.

The choir tonight was brilliant - and made very special by the fact that my DD came and joined in. She is a wonderful musician (was in BBC Young Musician many moons ago) but has not engaged in music herself for a long time - she is busy arranging musical opportunities for others! But tonight she reconnected with her inner musician and it was lovely to be by her side.

I managed the stairs - VERY slowly. It all made me realise how this blessed buuly had been suckiung the joy out of my musical life.

This choir is associated with the cathedral school and I will be singing alongside young voices - what a joy!

That is what music and singing should be about - joy!

I do wish I could sing.

So glad you enjoyed tonight lucky girl. As the saying goes what seems like a blow of fate is often a spur to better things.

Good saying, I'll try to remember that one too!

Luckygirl3 the new choir sounds like a breath of fresh air!
And how wonderful to be in the company of the cathedral choristers, as well as your daughter.
So uplifting 🥰

Great news!

Thank you. I knew that leaving was the right thing to do but as singing has been my life (both as performer and conductor) I did not want to jump into the void. The time will come when I can no longer sing I know..... but not yet.

So pleased for you Luckygirl3, enjoy your new choir, it sounds just right!🎼👍

Thank you all

Well - here is the latest.......

The joint chairs have decided to prevent members from sending each other emails via the Members Only area of the website. This is something that is mainly used to let people know when there are interesting concerts and singing workshops coming up. It has been going for years - ever since the website was created and Has a been a source of useful information.

I wonder if they are worried that I will send an aggrieved message to the members - something which of course I would not do as I have the interests of the choir at heart.

They have also honed in on the quarterly newsletter, which has been an enjoyable read and is edited and run by a member who is also a retired editor on a national newspaper. They are wanting to vet this. THis is something that has never happened before. It is just full of lovely contributions from members.

I feel so sad that what was once a warm and welcoming choir has been hi-jacked by these power freaks.

So - they have taken over the publicity, stopped people messaging each other and want to vet the newsletter - Putin would love this .......

A choir is such a joy and no place for these authoritarian people. I hope others in the choir oust them as they are ruining it.

Unbelievable really😱

Surely nobody is going to stay now.

Well - I do not want people to leave. It brings them (and has brought me) great joy and I want it to thrive. I needed to move on for myself, but I hope that others who are tougher than I am will stay on and get it through this hiccup.

Why do people do these unkind things?

They need to be in charge for whatever reason.

Some people make good leaders by keeping people onside, involving them, others are autocratic. They need to dominate others - why I do not know.
They Who Must be Obeyed.,

Indeed. It is very sad.

Sounds like they are shooting themselves in the foot.