Anybody know any rude songs? Warning crude humour

It's not really gallows humour, though.
It's more puerile than that.

I remember thinking the song about Hitler and his balls was funny when I was 14 - it was nearer the time when he was the enemy.

Couldn’t raise a smile at any of them tbh if something is crude it really has to be very funny.

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

Ooooooh!!

Blossoming

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

The rudest one I know has several verses is sung to The Ash Grove and I certainly wouldn’t share it on GN -or anywhere else really.

Allira

Are you a male poster, Caleo?
I've often wondered.
🏉🏉

How intriguing! Why do you ask? But I don't mind telling I am a woman .

You are not unusual to wonder that. I go to another online discussion where my name is very feminine gendered and they seem to take it for grantedt that I am a woman. But I have assigned genders to some posters there which I have been wrong about.

I made up the name Caleo simply because as I like the letters it's made up of, and it is short. However I did ask ChatGPT if Caleo is a real name, and it is , much to my surprise ---a mans' name incidentally.

Mollygo

Blossoming

I think the rude songs I know are too rude to share on Gransnet.

The rudest one I know has several verses is sung to The Ash Grove and I certainly wouldn’t share it on GN -or anywhere else really.

I know the feeling, Blossoming and Mollygo . I did reflect on whether or not I ought post my OP as I had the impression that the mods may not approve of rude verses.

I decided that Grans are human beings and are therefore not free from sin.

Caleo is a male name, I think (possibly Greek).

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

We all have the right to be puerile and vulgar occasionally. Always being grownup and serious can get a bit much sometimes. The title of the thread should have been a warning to anyone who didn't want to read the posts that they are not obliged to read every thread, just as those who don't want to join in the politics or games threads or the discussion of TV soaps are free to avoid them.

The tune of The Ball of Kirriemuir is in a Scottish dance rhythm. This thread is about rude songs the combination of a rollicking good tune and disreputable lyrics is very singable.

rafichagran

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

I think it would take a miracle.

I can remember all of ‘Twas on the Good Ship Venus” as told to me by a boy on the local rec. many years ago . It’s far too rude to post on here though

rafichagran

Sago

I thought our old Antipodean friend had risen.

The dirty old sod would have loved this thread.

Yes, he would. I found the old bugger funny.

I found him crude and inappropriate.

We used to sing them on a Saturday night long ago before we had children. Eskimo Nell, the good ship Venus one etc. Funny enough my friends here sung them,too back on the 1960s. So they were truly international. We did kind of grow out of it,though.

Yes I’ve heard that one ha.
Embarrassed at our football fans with what ditties they come out with, so much so won’t be going on another match, don’t want my grandchild hearing that filthy language.

RosieandherMaw

Is this meant to be humorous?
I thought we’d got over tittering at Colonel Bogey when we were kids.

Well, thank you for the telling off. I made it quite clear that this was something from my childhood, so clearly childish. This was supposed to be a lighthearted thread but along you come and spoil it. Why bother with a thread you know is going to offend you? Sometimes you should just keep your self imposed moral superiority to yourself and scroll on by.

I'm killing myself laughing at all the hilarious posts here!

This has been one of the most cheerful and uplifting threads. To think that children can be irreverent about sex and learn thereby! There is an underground culture among children that HELPS THEM LEARN THROUGH PLAY. Children laughing and learning.

I loved hearing that at least two of us Grans who went to Scottish schools learned 'The Ball of Kirriemuir'.

'There Once Was a Gay Caballero' even teaches a direct lesson.

I remember a few of these from my school days! They made me smile- nothing wrong with a bit of silliness.

My clean living God fearing Grandma was not averse to coming out with rude songs that we didn't even know were rude then!

I think a lot of them came from the old music hall days.

Great thread.

Most of the rugby songs I know have already been quoted, but does anyone else know a couple I picked up playing rugby in France?

Le curé de Camarai, il a les couilles qui pendent..... and

Ils ont des grands couillons, vivent les Bretons!

SiobhanSharpe

And one more (can’t believe I know so many — but I did go to boarding school…£
Mary from the Mountain glen
F***ed herself with a fountain pen
The pen nib broke, the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child.

To continue your song

'They called the bastard Stephen
They called the bastard Stephen
They called the bastard Stephen
'Cos that was the name of the ink. Quink, Quink.'

Both Stephen and Quink were popular fountain pen inks.
This is going to be in my head all day, so thanks for that!

Caleo

This has been one of the most cheerful and uplifting threads. To think that children can be irreverent about sex and learn thereby! There is an underground culture among children that HELPS THEM LEARN THROUGH PLAY. Children laughing and learning.

I loved hearing that at least two of us Grans who went to Scottish schools learned 'The Ball of Kirriemuir'.

'There Once Was a Gay Caballero' even teaches a direct lesson.

I’ve just looked up the lyrics to The Ball as something about the title stirred my memory. DH when he was my boyfriend used to sing it but only the first verse and chorus. He used to sing some of the others that have been posted.

From my brothers rugby days I remember being horrified at having a crowd of burly players 'singing' 'The cuckoo is a strange bird' in the pub afterwards (they'd won) which I can't repeat on here as it will offend the thread police, but the rest of the pub at the time were laughing and joining in. It was f.u.n.

"I found him crude and inappropriate."
At times yes Sago, but he could also be funny, and at times very cutting. I was not offended by him, in the same way as I am not offended by this thread. I think sometimes people choose to be offended at everything.