Anybody know any rude songs? Warning crude humour

Mt61

Yes I’ve heard that one ha.
Embarrassed at our football fans with what ditties they come out with, so much so won’t be going on another match, don’t want my grandchild hearing that filthy language.

I understand your feeling for the children's safety. However your idea is maybe simplistic? I hope and expect the children will learn irreverent language despite your best efforts.
I never went to football matches so cannot have an opinion on fans' language ----it may be mysogynistic, or racist, or ethno -nationalist . But I would not worry about "strong language".

Prudishness doesn't help children.

My DD came home from school one day and sang the following ditty to me:-

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway

I recommend the Youtube analysis of this and the many variations by Tom Scott it is hilarious.

Engineer Watson, before he died, a hum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum
Couldn’t keep his wife satisfies, a hum (3 times) etc.
So he built a prick of steel, it was driven by a bloody big wheel

A Rugby son on an LP, I had as a teen ….

I have an aversion to 'strong language'. My father was a horrible, violent drunk who used the worst language imaginable in front of us children. I hate it now. Obviously it's everywhere now and can't be avoided but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Kate1949

I have an aversion to 'strong language'. My father was a horrible, violent drunk who used the worst language imaginable in front of us children. I hate it now. Obviously it's everywhere now and can't be avoided but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

We surely must all understand your aversion, Kate. There are times and places for using " strong language" and parent to child is not the best occasion for it.

Child to child, as ever, is okay. It's the intention that matters. The intention of an aggressive drunk is not benevolent.

The intention of young children is to play and have fun .

It is quite understandable why this is not the thread for you Kate1949.

I must admit I find the misogynistic content of many rugby songs more offensive than the puerile use of 'naughty' words.

At the risk of sounding prissy, I don't find the use of these words amusing in itself. Although vulgar humour can be hilarious.

Magenta8

My DD came home from school one day and sang the following ditty to me:-

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway

I recommend the Youtube analysis of this and the many variations by Tom Scott it is hilarious.

During the political crisis shortly before Christmas, when Edward the Eighth was about to abdicate , two young teachers arrived at school walking through the playground, giggling and singing

"Hark the herald angels sing
Mrs. Simpson stole our king"

Magenta8

It is quite understandable why this is not the thread for you Kate1949.

I must admit I find the misogynistic content of many rugby songs more offensive than the puerile use of 'naughty' words.

At the risk of sounding prissy, I don't find the use of these words amusing in itself. Although vulgar humour can be hilarious.

They can be amusing in themselves in context. There is a funny bit of 'The King's Speech' where Lionel persuades Bertie to shout aloud all the rude words Bertie knows.

We'll have to agree to disagree Caleo. I'm not sure that children using strong language would be 'having fun'.

Watched on Facebook this morning part of a comedy show with Jim Davidson and Charlie Drake made me laugh out loud.

Laughed at some of the posts here. Brightened my day . 🤣

I'm reminded of the old Flanders and Swann which begins:-

Ma's out, Pa's out. Let's talk rude.

Pee po belly bum drawers!

I learned rude songs on the school bus taking us to our rural secondary school. Some of the lads were in the army cadets and sang them at camp. Most have been mentioned already.

Roll me over in the clover was one of the favourites. Even the bus driver joined in with the chorus.

I think I led a sheltered life. I don’t remember hearing any rude songs in my childhood, and judging from those on here would have found them feeble stuff if I had.

It was mainly whilst I was at uni and also at my husband’s uni, especially after sporting matches ( he was at London University) The whole pub full would roar them out, we were all drunk and disorderly. Then we would drive back, no illegal drunk driving in those days. It is a wonder we didn’t crash the car. Happy, carefree days - and the beer was really cheap too.

ayse Your post was known to the engineering students in my student days as "The engineers's poem". I always thought it started OK but ended in misogyny.

On GN years ago, a line of it "and now we come to the bitter bit" was quoted in a different context by one of our most senior and respectable members, a retired female GP. She was delighted when I replied with the next line.

Totally understandable Kate49.

'Twas on the good ship Venus,
By Christ you should have seen us,
The figurehead
Was a whore in bed,
And the mast a rampant penis.

The Captain's wife was Mabel
She was ready, willing and able
To give the crew their daily screw
Across the the kitchen table.

The first mate's name was Carter
By gad he was a farter!
When the wind wouldn't blow
And the ship wouldn't go
They'd get Carter the farter to start her.

The second mate's name was Topper
By Christ he had a whopper!
Once around the deck
Twice around his neck
And up his arse for a stopper.

And so on.

The boys at my junior school, in the early50s sang this in the playground

On top of Old Smokey
All covered in smoke,
There stands Betty Grable
Without any clothes.
Up comes Roy Rogers
Clippety clop
Down comes his trousers
And out comes his c**k

I had no idea what the last line meant….then

friendlygingercat
I remember my older brother sharing a slightly politer variation of the first verse and this for the second verse.
Verse 2 went:
The first mate's name was Carter
And he was a musical farter!
He could fart anything,
from God Save the King
To Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

I do remember
Hi ho, hi ho
Sabrina’s on the po
She’s singing songs
and dropping bombs,
Hi ho, hi ho.

This one is utterly pointless but at the same time strangely amusing in it's pointlessness -

Do your balls hang low?
Can you swing them to & from?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you swing 'em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

God knows what continental soldiers have to do with anything at all!

To & fro! Bloomin predictive text

I know some of them and my OH knows them all! 😂 Ex rugby player. Lighthearted and it’s given us a chuckle.

Caleo

One that was popular during the Nazi era.

Hitler has only got one ball

Goering has balls but they're too small

Himmler has something simlar

But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all

Slightly aside from this post, I recall hearing that song as a child and although I was well aware that Hitler was an evil person, I wondered why adults would make up such a thing about him.
Only a few years ago, I watched a documentary about Hitler and, long story short, a researcher found his medical assessment from when he was sent to prison for his part in the Beer Hall Putsch. Lo and behold…..Hitler DID have only one, the other was undescended, so not made up but true!

This one isn't rude as such just a bit "off":

Dolly died of measles
She came out all in a rash
I made her a shroud made of tissues
Tied up with a tartan sash

I made her a wreath for her tombstone
Out of mothballs and fairy clocks
Then I buried her down in the garden
In a beautiful chocolate box

It was lovely being chief mourner
But then if began to rain
And I'd nothing else to play with
So I dug up dolly again.

Dinah Dinah show us a leg a yard above your knee! etc etc