Funny things overheard

adrisco

My aunt was talking to a friend recently and told her that she had been shopping at a certain butchers shop since "before I was born" - still trying to work that one out!

Could she have meant that her mother shopped there while she was expecting her?

I was driving my two GCs home from school. They were aged six and four at the time.
Four year old - How do you get up to heaven?
Six year old - On an escalator of course!

Years ago my MIL was explaining FIL’s recent diagnosis to a friend as ‘Ann Summers Disease’ - she never did get the pronunciation correct, it was Alzheimer’s disease 😂

The junior school my children attended had an open evening for parents and their daughters to learn about periods. The lady in charge asked if any of the girls knew where the womb was one girl jumped up and pointed to her head, looking very pleased with herself she said it's next to your brain. Her poor mother looked really embarrassed.

Flumps70

When my youngest was a baby I went into a chemist and asked for baby food. I was told they didn’t have any as it wasn’t the right time of year!!!

Teaching army children in Germany I asked in the Naafi shop why there were no joints of beef or pork and was told Because the men are away on exercise, apparently joints were only cooked if they were home!
Talking after Church recently one elderly lady was very angry that black people were now referred to as ' off colour', so disrespectful she thought. We managed to put her right.

AGAA4

I was driving my two GCs home from school. They were aged six and four at the time.
Four year old - How do you get up to heaven?
Six year old - On an escalator of course!

Years ago elder daughter had stayed up and watched Jesus Christ Superstar on TV and she was telling her younger sister about it in the car.
But why did they cwucify Jesus?
So she explained again and this exchange went on for many miles until eventually exasperation got the better of her and she said
He just upset too many people!

kircubbin2000

keepingquiet

Years ago I took a call at work from the leader of the Royal Marine's band. When my boss returned from a meeting I said, 'Leon Solent rang and wants you to ring him back.'
My boss creased up...

I don't understand that one.

Was it Lea on Solent?

Overheard by my DH today outside Lidl as he returned our trolley:

"I came out of the store and was wandering around for 10 minutes looking for my car then I realised I came here in my wife's car today!"

I heard somebody describe themselves as “sleep-depraved”yesterday!

I was walking behind a mum and little boy many years ago when homelessness first became an issue.
Mum... "Uncle Steve is going to London soon"
Son.." Will he be taking a cardboard box?"
Mum.. "No, why?"
Son .. "To sleep in of course".