Dh is driving me mad being always right

I have one of these to.. i try and not bite back and be tolerant but it is hard at times

kittylester and foxie48 I agree with you both.

It is not a big problem, in fact I find it comical at times as I can predict when it’s going to happen.

Usually along the lines of me saying lets wait and ask an AC who has such and such and has already downloaded the app and knows how it works DH replies don’t be daft, I can do it
Then it goes wrong, and because the thing is half done it is twice as complicated to rectify. Fortunately our AC know him and his foibles and laugh whilst sorting out the problem 🤦‍♀️

I am nowhere near perfect, so no doubt I annoy him 🤷‍♀️

VANECAM

I don’t really get it. Exactly what has DH done wrong here?

If you can’t understand what the link is in all these posts ( except yours) you’ll never understand what
My partner of 45 years is the kindest helpful man you could meet: but he has to be right.
The words i could be wrong, sorry I’m wrong are just not wired into his brain.
Added to that he is going deaf but wont acknowledge the fact, it’s me mumbling.
I find that I’m retraining my brain to accommodate this part of his personality.
Then I have my daughter ( he’s not her birth father but has been since she was 9 keep telling me to argue back.
Hey ho, it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

I think the answer "Whatever" should be used here. And just leave the room and make a nice cup...or glass of something just for you.
DH can be like that , but a friends H is 100 times worse than yours. How he is not under the patio I really don't know.

petra

VANECAM

I don’t really get it. Exactly what has DH done wrong here?

If you can’t understand what the link is in all these posts ( except yours) you’ll never understand what
My partner of 45 years is the kindest helpful man you could meet: but he has to be right.
The words i could be wrong, sorry I’m wrong are just not wired into his brain.
Added to that he is going deaf but wont acknowledge the fact, it’s me mumbling.
I find that I’m retraining my brain to accommodate this part of his personality.
Then I have my daughter ( he’s not her birth father but has been since she was 9 keep telling me to argue back.
Hey ho, it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

Thank you, but with all due respect your sentence “just not wired into his brain” makes my point.

How can he do something wrong if he is simply complying with how he is wired.

He may be different - but not wrong.

AGAA4

You do realise that MEN are always right!

Surely not!

Women are Always Right.

So glad this thread has appeared as I have been feeling very down about this and as if I must be the most incompetent person in the world! Not only am I always wrong but the explanations of me being wrong need to go back to the very beginning of what I am wrong about. I often feel stupid and like literally banging my head against the wall but it's encouraging to see I'm not alone and should not take it personally. DH was a teacher!!! Says it all really.

Oh goodness, so much on this thread sounds familiar!

I really understand. In my case if something doesn't work orhas gone missing. It is always 'Well, what have youd done with it?/Where have you put it.
A classic was his keys - "Where have you (or one of the DC when they were living at home) put my keys?" Eventually solved by having a row of hooks in a cupboard, all labelled for everyone's keys.

And then there's the mansplaining, ask a simple question about history, physics, engineering and you get twenty minutes of explanation when all you wanted was a one-sentence answer.

Added to that he is going deaf but wont acknowledge the fact, it’s me mumbling. Oh yes. At last he has a hearing aid but it's useless, apparently.

But - very grateful that he is still here

Allira

But - very grateful that he is still here

Absolutely 👍

AGAA4

You do realise that MEN are always right!

Agree. My DH is never wrong! But I forgive him as he’s so good in other ways.

AGAA4

You do realise that MEN are always right!

To my certain knowledge, men say the same about women!

I suspect the truth is that no-one likes being told they are wrong, and certainly not when they are right!

There is no particularly nice way of tackling the problem. Either you bite your tongue and choke on your rancour, or you make some spiteful remark, such as, "I can't help that you do not know what the difference between a computor search and one on a tablet is." or "Do not tell me I am lying, when I am not." This kind of come-back will leave you feeling rather childish and mean, though.

I have really enjoyed reading all of these posts - most of them anyway. It’s seems to resonate with us all. The way I see it I am either stupid or a liar and I know I am neither. So don’t let them convince you of either. Love the back gate one - it’s always me who leaves the light on in the bedroom even if I haven’t been in there!

Wonderful thread! Resonates with me too and has cheered me up!

What I’ve often wondered is, when a group of men are together who is right if they are all always right? 😂

^What I’ve often wondered is, when a group of men are together who is right if they are all always right? 😂

Ooh. Good one!

The man with the biggest ego is my guess.

fancythat

^What I’ve often wondered is, when a group of men are together who is right if they are all always right? 😂

Ooh. Good one!

The man with the biggest ego is my guess.

That would be my one. Hence the not accepting how deaf he is.

I have developed a whole arsenal of phrases since my lovely husband retired, all of which are (mostly!) delivered & received with humour ….”thank you for your opinion but …”, “ thanks, I’m happy with my decision to do X/YZ…” and the most useful one “OK. Luckily I’m a grown-up too, so can decide for myself!!”

Extratime

Wonderful thread! Resonates with me too and has cheered me up!

What I’ve often wondered is, when a group of men are together who is right if they are all always right? 😂

😂

Well, another problem used to be that I'd suggest (a few times) that DH or in fact we could do something and it was always vehemently resisted then he'd go to the pub on Friday night and come back with a really good idea that one of our neighbours had suggested.
That would be the same idea that he'd turned down when I suggested it.

I had quite an argument with my partner recently because he has been doing something downright dangerous with our shared dog. When I pointed it out he got so defensive and angry ( I don’t lose my temper very often unless it concerns my kids or my dog). What made me angry was that I’d told him about it before and assumed he’d taken on board what I’d said. He can’t take criticism of any kind.

After many years of living with someone who is always right and refuses to admit when he is wrong I've concluded that the reaction you get when you point it out goes as follows. Depending on the seriousness of the situation the greater the denial that they are wrong is actually an indicator of the fact that they are and they know it!!
What drives me insane is the comment " well I might have done that if you say so, I can't be sure". There isn't anywhere much you can go with that so I usually say, "we both know who is right on this occasion but I'll let it go" and then I pour myself a nice glass of wine.

and then I pour myself a nice glass of wine.
😂
Cheers 🍷🍷

How lovely to have someone to’argue’ with I find the brick wall I talk to doesnt answer back. Happy Christmas

Its a man thing. I usually turn round and say ' let's bet on it'. He will back down as I usually win. The latest thing is that I have become physic. Call from the kitchen ' is this the right thing to use?'. 'Do you know which one this is?' I cannot see round corners and I cannot mind read. If the statement was quoting the item , then I would know, so invariably I have to get up and go and look.

Allira

Oh goodness, so much on this thread sounds familiar!

I really understand. In my case if something doesn't work orhas gone missing. It is always 'Well, what have youd done with it?/Where have you put it.
A classic was his keys - "Where have you (or one of the DC when they were living at home) put my keys?" Eventually solved by having a row of hooks in a cupboard, all labelled for everyone's keys.

And then there's the mansplaining, ask a simple question about history, physics, engineering and you get twenty minutes of explanation when all you wanted was a one-sentence answer.

Added to that he is going deaf but wont acknowledge the fact, it’s me mumbling. Oh yes. At last he has a hearing aid but it's useless, apparently.

I have to say everything twice to my husband as he doesn't hear the first time, it's like living with an echo because then he parrots what I just said back to me. I got him to a hearing test last year by arranging for us both to have one, and his hearing was worse than mine, since then it has got a lot worse but he just refuses to go for another test. He finally said he didn't want to wear a hearing aid, so now it has become my problem.