Are you ENDURING OR ENJOYING

I'm enjoying the current state of affairs. The bonhomie of Christmas is still in evidence, and the weather is settled. All will change soon though as we move into the new year.

I endure my life these days. It seems so pointless, contributing nothing to my family or to society, other than bits to my church.
The idea of living another 20 years filled me with horror. And it’s not impossible as I enjoy extremely good health, with absolutely nothing wrong with me, no pills, nothing.

grandMattie how lucky you are! Perhaps you don’t have to contribute anything, but just live your best life! 🤗 You do contribute to Gransnet …

As for me, there’s lots I enjoy - my husband’s company, family, craft, choir, dance group …

Also there is much to endure - my ranting neighbour who gets more worked up as the rant goes on, so much so that I literally step back! Luckily the rants are general and not aimed at me. My son’s marital issues that have rumbled on for years, my hip that aches, my failing eyesight.

My dear GrandMattie, I am sorry to hear that you feel life is just enduring at the moment and hope that something new comes into your life that you might enjoy. There will be lots of new courses coming up in the new year, perhaps you might look down the list and see if there is something you fancy trying that you have never done before. Could you think back to what you always wanted to do from years ago, and perhaps give it a go?

I have always loved roaming around and travelling. While you are still fit and well , if you can afford it, what about doing a bit of wandering.? I would love it if you came up this way and would like to meet you, perhaps in York, and would be very happy to take you up around my precious dales in my car.

If you are into art there are many art galleries that could be visited, and up here there are also places that you can see some of the wonderful Mouseman woodwork, go to the coast and see the funicular, visit Harlow Carr RHS gardens , a very different area from your home. I always think this is a great time to visit museums, art galleries etc., as there are no crowds and you can make a picnic and hop on a bus and have a very cheap day out and finally get to see something you have wanted to for ages. This is always a rather miserable time of year, so another possibility would be right now to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to a sauna, go for a swim and perhaps there is a jacuzzi to try, and what about any new cafes or restaurants you have seen arrive but not tried? A coffee doesnt cost much more in a very posh place than the usual cafe and it is a chance to look around and see if it is somewhere you want to treat yourself to a lunch sometime with a friend. Another simple possibility is give yourself permission to have a day off. By which I mean just stay at home but put your feet up, read your new book, absolutely ignore any form of housework or cooking and dont feel guilty about it. Well hope something might strike a chord with you and I would love to meet you if you decide on a trip up here. At the very least could we try and organise a few GN get togethers in various areas of the country.? It would be very good to put a name to a face and know what someone looks like after many months of written contact.

I was once told by a counsellor I went to see that everything in life has meaning for those who behold it. For example, you may see someone taking photos and think 'it's a dull day, why bother?'. But, to the photographer they may be doing a study on clouds and their shape and colour. Why not make a chart and log each day meaningful things you have done, Type of bird, flower, chat with someone you have seen for ages, special cake you baked, joy in grandchild's eyes etc. Everything has meaning. I do a chart like that and look at it at the end of the year and it takes me back down memory lane instead of just thinking 'What did I do this year?'.

I try to enjoy the moments. Think of today. I have days when i get so upset as estranged from my daughter but know i do not want a reconciliation, she has hurt so many. I must take responsibility. Her father just the same and did the same to his mother. I think if I can get out, meet people, go to an Art Gallery, a walk, although at the moment Planctar Facilitus has put paid to that for a while because i don’t know what tomorrow holds. So sonetimes I endure but mainly enjoy because I must.

I enjoy life, very much. Love the daily chats with family, AC and 5 siblings. My varied hobbies, my walks and cycling when the temperature rises

I enjoy looking after my house, even the routine pottering needed to keep it nice. I get messy but it is only hobby-mess

It does help that I love my own company and that I am content in silence and that I always have a positive attitude. I am widowed but my philosophy is that we are given a return ticket when we are born, my good, kind dh went back when it was his time. He had a death that would have suited him, quick and while cycling. I cannot be angry at that

I live in the moment and only do what I feel like at that moment, everything then becomes a positivity in my life. There is no room for negativity, never has been

Good idea GoodAfternoonTea. I bought a larger diary for this new year as well as a small one for my bag and will use the larger one for what you describe.

GrandMattie please go to Yorkshire and meet Madeleine. The trips out she describes sound wonderful and uplifting for the soul.

I feel that after a busy life of work, bringing up my children and looking after my grandchildren so their parents could work I now deserve my time to enjoy my hobbies, to visit family and have outings and holidays.
I mostly enjoy life but have to endure a painful hip which interferes with my walks, which have always been important to me, but I'm mostly content.

HelterSkelter1

Good idea GoodAfternoonTea. I bought a larger diary for this new year as well as a small one for my bag and will use the larger one for what you describe.

GrandMattie please go to Yorkshire and meet Madeleine. The trips out she describes sound wonderful and uplifting for the soul.

Oh yes grandMattie - do go to Yorkshire and meet Madeleine.

It would be so interesting to read both your posts if you were to meet up.

I look forward to Madeleine's posts each day, she is a wonderful writer and what a life she has and is still having.

Every day brings its joys, big or small. Yesterday I chatted with a little two-year-old who has Type 1 diabetes and who proudly shows off the two gadgets attached to her which basically keep her alive. And I fed two robins who come as soon as they see me in my garden room. They're not a pair - they fought furiously for a day or two - but have resolved their differences in the interests of eating oats. I've had a very tricky life but was born to poor but glass-overfull parents so I'm grateful for an inherited joy of life. I'm sad that not everyone feels like this.

I feel like you AGAA4 tho am still working part time and do a bit of childcare.
Nobody should question what they are now ‘for’ as you’re a human being and not put on this Earth just to serve family.
However many years you have left try and find enjoyment in life.

^ other than bits to my church.^

That is important!

Sounds also, like you need to watch the classic christmas film[name escapes me] where someone dies, and then he sees how he contributed to other peoples' lives.

I have no idea whether you are married or a widow, but since you still have good health, perhaps you could do some different things? Either for yourself or others?

I hope I am not coming across wrongly.

I did think, if my DH dies young, I would very much reorganise my life.
Perhaps volunteer abroad or something.

Like gMattie I feel I no longer have a purpose in life but accept that my time in the spotlight is over and I can still be of use by just “being there” as a listening ear and by not offering unsolicited advice - easier said than done sometimes. I am not nearly as valuable to my community as she is and admire her energy and commitment and hope those around her do too.

I intend to enjoy my life to the very end. I have one life and I want to make the most of it.

Yes, there aare times when one endures bits. At present I am delighted to be in our new home and location. I am enduring the unpacked boxes and heap for the charity shop and tip.

I can't help but think that our purpose is simply to be alive, for every moment.

I’m not enduring nor really enjoying life, but closer to enjoying than enduring.. I’m accepting. I have little mobility, but I have got used to that and it doesn’t worry me unduly. My life has always been more thoughtful than active, and luckily my brain still functions, more or less.. I’m not in pain. My family is loving and, touch wood, everyone is happy.

I do worry about living too long, and becoming more dependent on help. I’m 85, which is quite enough really, but I keep reading of people in their 90s and hundreds. I don’t want to be as old as that.

Like many people, for me it’s a mix of both. There are so many things to enjoy in this wonderful world, one lifetime is too short for me.

I like the expression “time in the spotlight” GrannySomerset as my time there singing leading roles is certainly over, but I have diversified to a different repertoire and returned to painting and drawing.

I endure the loss of my dear DH and practical worries, but it’s balanced by the love of my DC, who never forget me.
A very interesting thread, thank you “Oldmumnewgran*.

A bit of both really. I try very hard to count my blessings and I get a lot of enjoyment from my little grandsons as well as friends and family.

However, since losing my DH ten years ago, I still find it an endurance test living without him. We had such plans after working hard and raising our family and he has missed out on so much.

I also expected to still have my two beloved sisters still around but they both died relatively young (52 and 71) and I miss them so much and often have something to share which nobody but they would be interested in.

I don’t want to live too long either. Once I can’t take care of myself I don’t want to be here any more.

grandMattie💐

I try very hard to enjoy life but to be honest, every day is a struggle. I'm not looking for sympathy, just being honest. My life has been difficult, although I also have much to be thankful for. I think because so many horrible things have happened, I am constantly waiting for the next one. I've never felt as good as other people. for all who are struggling.

I miss my DH, who died 9 years ago, terribly. There isn't a day that goes by when don't long to tell him something or have a laugh with him. We shared the same sense of humour and a very similar outlook on life. I don't miss company, I miss his company. But I still find joy in living, if only to see the trees through my kitchen window or listening to bird song. I'm not conventionally religious, but the world is truly miraculous.

2025 has been pretty shit if I’m honest. I’m anxious about next year, terribly so. I seem to cry a lot these days but also recognise that in time things will get worse. I do try to count the many blessings we have been given but when one is in the eye of the storm anguish isn’t far away.

FGT💐

Kate
FGT2

I agree with hollysteers. There are days when enjoyment is uppermost and other days when enduring is the main component.

At the moment 'enjoying' is winning.