Rudeness from a stranger in public

Hiraeth

Long gone ,the times when the cashier had a chat and the customer knew her whole life story at the end . 🤣( and all the other customers )

I remember being in long queue's in the building society while customers talked about all their ailments and life story, where they were going on holiday. It used to drive me mad.
I'm guilty of holding the queue up in Tesco having a conversation with the cashier if they tend to be chatty.

When I encounter youngsters with manners I always acknowledge them. They tend to beam and go their own way. But when I hold a door or let some go first or say " sorry" and they don't even look up or react I will say " you are very welcome, don't mention it,or its my pleasure. Maybe I'm turning into a battle axe?

I think a general feeling of being overcrowded and never enough of anything to go round contributes. There are queues for everything and doing something spontaneously has all but disappeared as everything is full or booked up. It takes forever to get anywhere because the roads are congested and the car park full when we do get there. Medical appointments. School places. I don’t think it’s just us oldies who can remember when things were less competitive either.

Ive noticed over the last 5 yrs, impatience, intolerance and aggression has increased.

ACDC oh you are so good to not fuel the situation, I’m 70 & just have to retaliate which often makes it worse. If I keep quiet then I get angry with myself! 🤗🌷

I agree there is no need for rudeness. I was getting on 19.29 London to Glasgow train last Sunday and a young woman was in front of me. She stopped abruptly at the carriage door and said I can’t do this I’m 7 months pregnant, you’ll just have to wait , her partner had carried their small child to lay him down on a seat and she understandably was upset at being left with a heavy case (a wheely case). I didn’t mind in the slightest waiting but her attitude peed me off. She also had another suitcase which she had left behind about 3 people and just said pass me that case, then for some reason she ended up sitting opposite me and she pushed my small bag towards me and said move that bag. Someone had obviously upset her I think she was angry with her partner but hey ho the rudeness was off the scale. So yes I agree with you there is no need to be so rude to other people.

Next time someone behind you in the queue is rude, just smile sweetly at them and ask if they could repeat that a little louder as you are slightly deaf. I've only ever had one person repeat their rudeness. A second sweet smile asking them to speak up even louder put an end to it. Worth a try.

Test

I remember when I was much younger and had to shop and visit the bank etc in my lunch break. By the time I'd found somewhere to park and walked to the shop it was frustrating to be at the back of a line of pensioners fumbling around for the right change. I couldn't understand why they shopped at the busiest time of day when they could go any time. Then I realised it may be because chatting to the cashier might be the only conversation they had all day and they maybe hoped to get a friendly smaile too.
I now always scan as I go and use the smart shop tills unless I'm buying alcohol which needs to be validated by a staff member so then I use a manned checkout. I shop little and often as I like to take advantage of the reduced items and visit different shops for the best deals. I've sometimes had someone insist I go ahead when I only have a few items but I often say I don't mind waiting as I'm not usually in a rush now I'm retired. I try to shop when it's quiet but it isn't always possible so I try not to hold people up by being slow.
Sadly I think people are becoming more entitled and impatient generally. I had to sort out a stand off outside my house (outside a primary school) between 2 people refusing to give way to each other in the road. The school pick up traffic was building up and I couldn't get out to pick up my friend to take her for a medical appointment. I had to tell them to grow up and let each other pass otherwise everyone would be stuck there all eventing! Thankfully one did give way and I didn't get any abuse for intervening. When I told a police officer friend she said I should be careful as some people can get nasty in those circumstances. It's a very sad state of affairs. Some of the school staff have refused to come out and try to direct the traffic as they have been abused by parents!

My husband was sitting at traffic lights yesterday when the woman in front didn't move on green. The man behind my husband blasted his horn very aggressively. Husband got out and politely asked if there was something wrong. He acted the dodderly old man, which he isn't. The aggressive driver was a bit embarrassed at being confronted. By the time husband got back in his car the lights were red! That'll teach him!

It's not just older people who faff about at a checkout, annoying as they are, the younger lot get their phone out, log on then find the store's App to collect their bonus points or savings and if App doesn't have a payment system their banking App is to be found. Can people just not think ahead. As for politeness, at the airport last week whilst able to manage my suitcase (15 kilos) a lovely young man who was loading his onto the conveyor belt asked if he could lift mine for me. Whilst able to do so myself I allowed the young man to do so, just so he could feel his offer was appreciated. There is kindness out there.

people seem to have less patience and that does make for being more rude. i had always been told i had a purposeful walk, now i need to use a walker, i am not slow or shuffling with it but people on phones always seem to get in my way, i get the usual tuts and remarks, i smile say...i thought you wanted to dance, my glasgow humour tends to be sarcastic, i don't argue with people i just keep saying okay, it winds people up...lol, i find not saying please or thank you rude and i do make comments (always sarcastic), i have in the past asked to speak to a manager and suggested the person on the till needed some customer service training. i understand that people can have off days, but an old manager at a shop i worked in used to say to the staff in the morning, manners cost nothing and leave your problems in the staff room.

I would have told her, the 2nd words off!!! Cheeky cow!!!

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

Sorry you experienced rudeness - they’d be sorry if they were behind me at such a machine!…why can’t people be more helpful, KIND and Respectful to each other 🤷‍♀️

Rude and bad mannered! I have found since Covid people are far more rude.. People push in front if you no excuse me, let doors just swing back without a backward glance to see if anyone is behind them and I could go on....you are not alone...

I agree, I have Raynauds so often can't feel my fingers which makes it difficult holding things or taking cards out of my purse. That person in front of you may have other health issues which impacts on daily living.

HelterSkelter1

I think we must be a bit more prepared. I have queued behind...often people looking like my age mid 70s... at a supermarket checkout who wait till they have loaded all their goods into bags before they then hunt through pockets or handbag for their purse/money/card and all their vouchers and take an age to pay. They could load their stuff back into their trolley, pay with their card etc which they could have already in their hand and then pack stuff into bags away from the checkout at their own speed.
I rarely now go through a manned till and prefer self service because of this. This deliberate slowness and selfishness let's the side down.
But I agree with the OP that there is a lot of lack of patience about especially when you are new to a system and need to take a little more time before you get used to it. The people I am talking about above probably shop weekly so are never getting used to it, but are being quite rude themselves.

This made me giggle as it reminded me of my father coming home and moaning about ‘old’ people hunting for their purse/wallet after they had packed, saying ‘surely they knew they had to pay’. I had to remind him that he was probably older than them.

Calendargirl

I agree about being more prepared when you get to the checkout.

Also being aware of people waiting behind you, and not keeping the checkout person chatting if they’re busy.

But some folk are very self absorbed, especially as they get older.

(Hopefully, not me!)

It isn't just a older people, we got caught recently behind a woman in her 40s(?) using a phone on which there were several vouchers she wanted to use, but she couldn't get them up on the phone properly, or the phone/system was misfunctioning. I am not sure which.

We were stuck there for nearly 10 minutes because we were directly behind her and had a good load of shoppiing already downloaded onto the belt, plus, of course, people behind us. It was a busy time of day

She fossicked around, completely unaware or ignoring the ueu behind her, We did not get a look or an apology, nothing. More staff were called to help sort the problem out. I presume in the end it was. By then I had lost the will to live and DH's blood pressure was rising to dangerous heights.

All sorted out, she waltzed out leaving us to a deeply apologetic till clerk.

annifrance

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

There are rude people in every country. Is the area of the UK (or YUK, as you seem to prefer) you’re describing also “a forgotten corner”, or are you comparing apples and pears?

By coincidence, I’m on holiday at the moment and have just had a French couple push in front of me at a bar as though I were invisible. Being a polite person myself, I bit my lip, but not when a third one popped up and also reached across me. I’ll try not to let it colour my perception of the whole country.

there is no need for this rudeness

madeleine45 - I’ve never understood those blue tokens in Tesco. How many are you supposed to take? 🤔

Sueinkent

I would have taken even longer. Maybe started again after she spoke. I like to wind rude people up if I can. Bit risky but quite satisfying. If she said anything I would say it was her fault for putting me off.

Imagine being that miserable with your life that that stresses her. Have pitty . She was rude . I hope it didn’t spoil your day .
I do find people very rude

annifrance

Ashcombe, this is the opposite I experience here in a forgotten corner of France, be it Lidl or other supermakets. It is normal and expected here and never experienced that in the South East of YUK.

I'm fact on my increasingly rare visits, yes people in YUK are increasingly ruder. Britain is broken. It is not the country I was raised in. I am so thankful.I live here and worry about my children and more so for my grandchildren s future in every way.

I can assure you that shoppers inviting other shoppers with a few items to go before them is normal behaviour in my corner of the SouthEast.

I had some trolley rage in a supermarket last year when I bumped into someone by accident and was sworn at. I just said to the man, " it's been a nice day, hasn't it". He didn't know what to say as he was probably expecting me to sweat back.