Gransnet forums

Chat

A surfeit of memorial benches

(88 Posts)
M0nica Tue 17-Mar-26 16:28:29

There is an article in the Daily Mail today www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15653651/Council-bans-memorial-benches-overwhelmed-families-tribute.html?fbclid=IwY2xjawQmXEVleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEeeYeaPo9e44GU2n31eW4FH7wempTJ8ZCQdNdmjg0MRgI32n-jhxyPkZC2cLE_aem_FrbmuobauGJ6aCsKfRy6Hw saying that Hatlepool coincil has banned all new memorial benches after doing an audit and finding that there were 275 of these memorials on their open spaces with a view of the sea. What is more many of them were decked with flowers, wreaths and the like, which I am sure I would find would stop me wanting to sit on the seat anyway.

About 10 years ago we went to stay in Whitby in a hotel onthe opposite headland to the church. The hotel overlooked a sweep of grass overlooking the sea. benches were scattered across this grass like daisies, you couldn't walk on the grass you had to thread your way around the benches. i started counting and at 67, I freaked out and had to get off the grass and back into the hotel as fast as possible.

I do appreciate and understand why people want these memorials, but if yours is just one of 275, or crammed as they were on the headland at Whitby?

Hartlepool is now operating a waiting list. I think ti would be much better to only allow a bench to be there for a certain period of time - say 10 years, perhaps charge a maintenance charge, for the extra time, pay etc, when those cutting grass have to wind between benches, perhaps move thm out of the way when mowing, I certaily thing putting any floral tributes, decorations, teddy bears and the like should be banned.

I am not against memorial benches or memorials of aany other kind, but I do think that when these benches are so numerous they stop the living accessing green spaces because the benches are so close they form a barrier or people need to thread round them as they walk around a headland or along a grassy area, then assomw control is necessary

RosiesMawagain Tue 24-Mar-26 19:43:29

But what a trivial topic to get someone’s dander up.
Do you live in any of these areas mentioned OP?
If you did it is not beyond the realms of possibility that you might even know a name inscribed on such a bench.
For those who either are commemorating a loved one or jus want somewhere to enjoy a view/sarnie and cup of tea/ chat with a friend - good luck to them.
I find it mean-spirited and quite irrelevant

M0nica Tue 24-Mar-26 20:49:12

No it isn't a trivial topic. It is serious enough to be causing concern to local councils.

As I made clear at the start, I have no objection to memorial benches, it is is the excessive number of them in some places, where they sterilise large green spaces making it difficult for children to play or for any one who wants to picnic or or even just wander across and enjoy expanses of open land,

I live opposite the town parish church facing onto the churchyard, which is crisscrossed with paths and there are about half a dozen memorial benches. along the paths, which are well used, altough I have never seen them all in use at once. I have no problems with those at all. However, if there were 50 benches in the churchyard, threaded between the grave stones, and forming barriers along the paths, then yes, I would object to them.

RosiesMawagain Tue 24-Mar-26 21:32:14

I live opposite the town parish church facing onto the churchyard, which is crisscrossed with paths and there are about half a dozen memorial benches. along the paths, which are well used, altough I have never seen them all in use at once. I have no problems with those at all. However, if there were 50 benches in the churchyard, threaded between the grave stones, and forming barriers along the paths, then yes, I would object to them

On your own admission you have recently moved to your present home- it is none of your business if a churchyard which has been in existence for hundreds of years containing generations of locals has benches or not!
It’s like those people who move next to a church and complain about the bells, or to the country and complain about cocks crowing.
Unbelievable.

HelterSkelter1 Tue 24-Mar-26 21:59:16

I think the difference between what the OP is seeing and what I saw yesterday is that the literally 100s of benches I saw in a large area were not at all in the way. The fields, lawns and grassy river banks where people could picnic and children play were completely free of benches. The benches were all back against walls or hedges and didnt impinge on the terrace spaces. They didn't block the pathways at all or make barriers. And not one of the 100s had any form of decoration apart from the small plaques or carved inscriptions. They were part of the scenery and would be greatly used on a sunny weekend.

But had they been spread across the grassy areas like rows of deckchairs on a crowded beach it would have totally spoilt the view and prevented children playing etc

The whole area was litter free as well which by today's standards was impressive.

Allira Tue 24-Mar-26 22:37:45

Calendargirl

Personally, I like reading the plaques on benches, seeing who they are in memory of.

But I also wander around graveyards, reading the inscriptions on them.

My DH thinks it’s morbid, but there are some lovely quotes on many of them.

I also think there’s no place for tacky plastic flowers, ornaments, teddy bears ….

I agree 100% Calendargirl.

Benches with plaques are fine
Plastic tat and teddy bears are not
Much as I am fond of teddy bears but they have their place and that is not getting soaked and bedraggled on a bench outside.

M0nica Tue 24-Mar-26 22:46:04

RosiesMawagain

^I live opposite the town parish church facing onto the churchyard, which is crisscrossed with paths and there are about half a dozen memorial benches. along the paths, which are well used, altough I have never seen them all in use at once. I have no problems with those at all. However, if there were 50 benches in the churchyard, threaded between the grave stones, and forming barriers along the paths, then yes, I would object to them^

On your own admission you have recently moved to your present home- it is none of your business if a churchyard which has been in existence for hundreds of years containing generations of locals has benches or not!
It’s like those people who move next to a church and complain about the bells, or to the country and complain about cocks crowing.
Unbelievable.

Since I am happy and like the churchyard opposite, what is the problem? I live, effectivly, in a new town,populated mainly by immigrants, London overspill in the 1960s-90s, other nationalities since. The churchyard has been closed since the mid 19th century, so few, if any families living locally have any connection with the inhabitants of the churchyard.

I enjoy the bells, they practice for an hour on Friday evening and have me up and about bright and early on Sundays, what is there not to like?

You seem to be getting very annoyed about something entirely suppositious

Gwyllt Wed 25-Mar-26 10:09:03

I wish memorial benches could be more spread out sometimes walk for miles in lovely countryside and would give anything for somewhere to sit and have our lunch. Instead of perched on a damp broken down wall likely to be covered in damp moss. Think I might set the trend.

HelterSkelter1 Wed 25-Mar-26 11:15:46

I love my benches in our garden. Tbey are aluminium so very light to move about. They stay out all year so are ready for me to sit with coffee anytime.

PamelaJ1 Wed 25-Mar-26 11:42:31

nanna8

They don’t really have that trend here, probably no one has thought of it. There are not that many benches around really, I can’t actually think of any round here except a couple in local parks. The other extreme I suppose because we could do with a couple more here and there. In the shopping centres they have them ( not memorial ones ) but mostly they want you to go in a cafe and spend money !

They have them in NSW nanna. My DD’s next door neighbour is remembered by a bench overlooking the beach.
This, not very good, photo seems to be popular over in Aus. Some of the decorated rocks were lovely. I seem to have missed them though.

RosiesMawagain Wed 25-Mar-26 11:53:25

I have no problems with those at all. However, if there were 50 benches in the churchyard, threaded between the grave stones, and forming barriers along the paths, then yes, I would object to them
Yes but there aren't, so who's being
"Suppositious" ?

Oreo Wed 25-Mar-26 18:49:44

Gwyllt

I wish memorial benches could be more spread out sometimes walk for miles in lovely countryside and would give anything for somewhere to sit and have our lunch. Instead of perched on a damp broken down wall likely to be covered in damp moss. Think I might set the trend.

You go for it girl!😄

Primrose53 Sun 29-Mar-26 20:48:34

Gwyllt

I wish memorial benches could be more spread out sometimes walk for miles in lovely countryside and would give anything for somewhere to sit and have our lunch. Instead of perched on a damp broken down wall likely to be covered in damp moss. Think I might set the trend.

Families usually arrange for memorial benches to be placed in a particular place where their loved ones enjoyed the view.

It always surprises me when I see a single person sitting slap bang in the middle of a bench as if they do not want anybody else to sit down. Often they put a bag or rucksack next to them to claim more space.