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A surfeit of memorial benches

(88 Posts)
M0nica Tue 17-Mar-26 16:28:29

There is an article in the Daily Mail today www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15653651/Council-bans-memorial-benches-overwhelmed-families-tribute.html?fbclid=IwY2xjawQmXEVleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEeeYeaPo9e44GU2n31eW4FH7wempTJ8ZCQdNdmjg0MRgI32n-jhxyPkZC2cLE_aem_FrbmuobauGJ6aCsKfRy6Hw saying that Hatlepool coincil has banned all new memorial benches after doing an audit and finding that there were 275 of these memorials on their open spaces with a view of the sea. What is more many of them were decked with flowers, wreaths and the like, which I am sure I would find would stop me wanting to sit on the seat anyway.

About 10 years ago we went to stay in Whitby in a hotel onthe opposite headland to the church. The hotel overlooked a sweep of grass overlooking the sea. benches were scattered across this grass like daisies, you couldn't walk on the grass you had to thread your way around the benches. i started counting and at 67, I freaked out and had to get off the grass and back into the hotel as fast as possible.

I do appreciate and understand why people want these memorials, but if yours is just one of 275, or crammed as they were on the headland at Whitby?

Hartlepool is now operating a waiting list. I think ti would be much better to only allow a bench to be there for a certain period of time - say 10 years, perhaps charge a maintenance charge, for the extra time, pay etc, when those cutting grass have to wind between benches, perhaps move thm out of the way when mowing, I certaily thing putting any floral tributes, decorations, teddy bears and the like should be banned.

I am not against memorial benches or memorials of aany other kind, but I do think that when these benches are so numerous they stop the living accessing green spaces because the benches are so close they form a barrier or people need to thread round them as they walk around a headland or along a grassy area, then assomw control is necessary

Pix5 Wed 18-Mar-26 13:42:26

I like them and respect them

Colls Wed 18-Mar-26 13:46:51

Goodness me! What silly, weak councils we have!
I sponsor a bench in Switzerland. The council there gives you a choice of location where there are vacant spots - all over the area, down lanes, footpaths etc. Your annual fee covers maintenance.
You get a renewal notice every 10 years. And the weather in Switzerland is far harsher than even on the coast in the UK.
Is such basic organisational sense beyond the ken of UK councils? hmm hmm

How can something like this be a problem assuming the council have 10 brain cells to rub together. shock

Primrose53 Wed 18-Mar-26 13:59:07

I have a beautiful memorial bench on a concrete base in memory of my parents in the village church yard.

Loads of people have told me they are very grateful it is there as they use it when they visit relatives graves. It is a lovely place to sit and reminisce.

We originally had a hardwood one which I stripped and treated every summer as I promised the Vicar I would keep it nice. Lasted until about 4 years ago when I replaced it with a vandal proof heavy duty plastic one which looks just like wood but just needs a wipe down now and then.

Musicgirl Wed 18-Mar-26 14:41:46

At Sandown, on the Isle of Wight, people have bought memory slabs on the sea wall. I think it's a lovely idea as it gives the family members something tangible but does not clutter the prom. It also means far less upkeep. When we go on holiday there, I enjoy walking down the promenade and seeing these and seeing how many others enjoyed this beautiful beach

Greciangirl Wed 18-Mar-26 14:57:03

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches.

Far too many to count.

I understand why people put them there, but it does look somewhat littered.

4allweknow Wed 18-Mar-26 15:30:18

Local Authority here provides memirial benches but indivuduals have to pay. No maintenance is undertaken and if decreed to need repair owner must fund. If beyond repair bench is removed and destroyed. At least that's what's supposed to happen nut only last year 7 benches needed repair and a Men's Shed undertook the work, cost of wood for repairs provided by crematorium fund. The benches were 7' long and were a huge undertaking, some of the plates showed person had died as far back as the 1950s. Unbelievable.

BlueBelle Wed 18-Mar-26 16:45:18

Our local pier has the planks of wood at the sides commemorated , it’s that that is paying for the old walk way to be renewed plank by plank
I think the benches are just too popular now maybe it’d would be better if a bench could be provided by the council and a number of commemorates placed along the back of it
The RNLI does commemoratives on their boat hulls
I like trees in woods or parks personally

tattygran14 Wed 18-Mar-26 17:08:30

My ex would not stop reminding me of his late wife. I wondered if it was guilt, it was very tedious, and it broke up our relationship relatively early on. He had paid a lot for a seat to be installed at a famous bird sanctuary, I saw photos of the kerfuffle when it was installed, people were on their knees before this thing!
It was a long drive across country to get there, luckily I avoided that, and when we moved it was even further for him to travel, so he couldn’t visit often.
When he finally did, it was to discover no bench on the sacred ground, all gone, it was now the car park.

Siptree Wed 18-Mar-26 17:15:46

I think it can be a way of councils raising money for benches along footpaths where they are useful, such as coast and woodland paths. I detest the paraphernalia that adorns some of them. I hate it in cemetaries too when is artificial flowers, toys, etc. it ends up looking a tacky mess. There was a story a while back where a woman started screaming at a people sitting on bench by the coast eating chips, because it was her Dad's bench and eating chips on it was disrespectful!

WithNobsOnIt Wed 18-Mar-26 17:19:34

I think the in dea of so called Memorial benches are well past their all by date and have become an eye sore in many places.

Nice thought but their are far to many of them. Was just a way of the local council making money and looking good.

I'm sure there a lots of there ways of making tributes on important memorial days for deceased relatives.

Why not give a donation to charity,?

Silvertwigs Wed 18-Mar-26 17:50:32

A good source of revenue for the council though!

Geordiegirl1 Wed 18-Mar-26 17:55:43

Far too many and they are meaningless to the general passer-by. Best to let people go gently. Same with ashes scattering. Some spots have had soil and general biodiversity disrupted because of all the ash. Ben Nevis rangers had to put a stop to it.

fancyflowers Wed 18-Mar-26 18:50:04

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

Those are the ones I mean.

valdavi Wed 18-Mar-26 19:32:03

I have always thought memorial benches are rather nice, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to stipulate that if they're in a public place & not on private land they should not be used as a shrine (no flowers etc placed there).
The original idea was that it would be a memento of someone in one of their favourite spots, lovely for the family and useful for the public.
If a council need to introduce a waiting list because there are too many, then that's their prerogative.But making sure the existing ones are available to be used as benches would be a good first step.

SunnySusie Wed 18-Mar-26 20:12:18

I dont mind memorial benches in moderation, but Councils needs to control the numbers, placement and ban anything that turns them into a shrine. Surely you buy a bench so that people can sit on it, not so that you can load it with flowers and tat.

2507C0 Wed 18-Mar-26 21:51:25

What a brilliant post! Thank you. Every time we go do a walk on the coast these benches that are covered plastic flowers and other tar make me angry. There's no where to sit down because there's no room on the benches and the entire place looks like some weird cemetery. Yes, attaching things to the benches should be banned for sure. This includes fresh flowers that die and are left there brown and shriveled. Awful.

M0nica Wed 18-Mar-26 21:55:15

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

My experience is about 10 years old. But then there were so many benches on the headland by the Royal hotel, where we were staying that you did have to weave between them. My count stopped at 67 when I was about 2/3rds round.

I think councils should assess the need for benches in any given area, allowing for easy excess and benches not interfering in other uses of the area - small children running round and playing, picnics etc and then allow that number of benches only and for a stated number of years. In popular areas it could be for only 5 years, longer in other areas.

To be honest, I really do not understand this modern fashion for needing to place named memnorials everywhere. These places may be special to a family because a member who has died loved the area. But they are meaningless to every one else.

To walk past memorial after memorial 'Murial Smith loved the view', 'John Bloggs sat here' Spot the dog ....... Dave Doll stood her. I find off putting and depressing. I never knew these people, their names mean nothing to 99.9%ofhe people who walk past them. They are special to the family, they know where their relative used to sit, why do they need to leave a label?

RosiesMawagain Wed 18-Mar-26 22:39:57

Greciangirl

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches.

Far too many to count.

I understand why people put them there, but it does look somewhat littered.

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches

Littered?.

I don’t suppose it has occurred to you that some people might like to sit on one of these benches perhaps near a loved one’s grave and remember happier days!

Our village churchyard has three benches each looking out over surrounding fields. I have been known to sit there and reflect and remember.
It is a lovely peaceful place.

Allira Wed 18-Mar-26 22:43:01

The more benches the better for me at the moment!

Allira Wed 18-Mar-26 22:46:28

M0nica

YorkLady

As a regular visitor to Whitby, I don’t recognise the description of the benches crammed together that you have to weave through them.
Yes there are quite a few near the Royal Hotel, lots of people use them to rest and eat there, admiring the view.
It’s a relaxing spot to gather your breath after the climb up the steps from the harbour.

My experience is about 10 years old. But then there were so many benches on the headland by the Royal hotel, where we were staying that you did have to weave between them. My count stopped at 67 when I was about 2/3rds round.

I think councils should assess the need for benches in any given area, allowing for easy excess and benches not interfering in other uses of the area - small children running round and playing, picnics etc and then allow that number of benches only and for a stated number of years. In popular areas it could be for only 5 years, longer in other areas.

To be honest, I really do not understand this modern fashion for needing to place named memnorials everywhere. These places may be special to a family because a member who has died loved the area. But they are meaningless to every one else.

To walk past memorial after memorial 'Murial Smith loved the view', 'John Bloggs sat here' Spot the dog ....... Dave Doll stood her. I find off putting and depressing. I never knew these people, their names mean nothing to 99.9%ofhe people who walk past them. They are special to the family, they know where their relative used to sit, why do they need to leave a label?

Don't walk down Clevedon pier, M0nica!!

There are 16,000+ plaques along there.

I quite like knowing that generations of people have sat and enjoyed the same view that I am enjoying. It brings a sense of continuity.

Allira Wed 18-Mar-26 22:48:39

But then, I was always one of those children who used to read all the notices on buses!

I might read the plaques and wonder about Muriel Smith, John Bloggs et al.

Oreo Thu 19-Mar-26 08:38:04

valdavi

I have always thought memorial benches are rather nice, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to stipulate that if they're in a public place & not on private land they should not be used as a shrine (no flowers etc placed there).
The original idea was that it would be a memento of someone in one of their favourite spots, lovely for the family and useful for the public.
If a council need to introduce a waiting list because there are too many, then that's their prerogative.But making sure the existing ones are available to be used as benches would be a good first step.

Good comment.

M0nica Thu 19-Mar-26 09:22:43

RosiesMawagain

Greciangirl

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches.

Far too many to count.

I understand why people put them there, but it does look somewhat littered.

My local cemetery is littered with wooden benches

Littered?.

I don’t suppose it has occurred to you that some people might like to sit on one of these benches perhaps near a loved one’s grave and remember happier days!

Our village churchyard has three benches each looking out over surrounding fields. I have been known to sit there and reflect and remember.
It is a lovely peaceful place.

No one is objecting to benches available for anyone who may need them to sit upon. It is the excess of these benches and them being dressed up like shrines with garlands flowers, soft toys, that then make them unsittable on. that are the problems.

I quite like knowing that generations of people have sat and enjoyed the same view that I am enjoying. It brings a sense of continuity.

But why do you need plaques to remind you of this. If you are on a pier that was built 150 years ago, it is self evident that people have been enjoying it that long, and usually local giftshops will have copies of old pictures showing the pier inthe past with people walking, sitting and standing non the pier.

Oreo Thu 19-Mar-26 09:26:48

That’s your super logical side coming out M0nica… lots of people do like the sense of continuity and feeling connection to others through named plaques, benches and even wandering around an English churchyard reading the inscriptions there.

ViceVersa Thu 19-Mar-26 12:08:16

Oreo

That’s your super logical side coming out M0nica… lots of people do like the sense of continuity and feeling connection to others through named plaques, benches and even wandering around an English churchyard reading the inscriptions there.

I like that too. I love a wander around a graveyard - especially the old ones - and reading all the inscriptions.
I wonder if memorial benches have become more popular now that more and more people are being cremated rather than buried, so loved ones maybe feel that a bench gives them somewhere to go and remember the deceased as they won't have an actual grave or headstone. I'm not saying that would be my choice, but if that might be one possible reason for the proliferation of benches now.