I love them honest I do but I’m glad they’ve gone.

My daughter gave off to me for limping and for struggling on the stairs. She said I hope you're not going to start being decrepit already as if I was faking.

Like you, Kircubbin, I have a daughter who avoids all unpleasantness, and only reluctantly acknowledges that her father’s Parkinson’s has a major effect on both our lives. I could really do with a day or two away to catch up with myself but there is no way she would come and take care of him to allow me to do that. And the notion that I find life increasingly tiring is beyond her!

Where did we go wrong?

We loved having our dd two grandchildren my 88 year old mother and her widowed next door neighbour on Christmas day. With dd's husband that is 8 of us. The sil doesn't have much to say though and finds a corner to sit in and hardly moves. We do a lovely Christmas 3 course lunch with all the trimmings but my dd always brings separate food for her husband which irritates every year. He has mental health issues which include food and having someone in the kitchen fussing about over his plate and using the microwave when you are trying to get roasties, boiled potatoes, several vegetables, stuffing pigs in blankets gravy ext ext hot to the table for 7 others is profoundly irritating. He didn't want my starter or pudding either.
However we have become wiser over the years and learned to accept that his strange ways are the price we pay for the pleasure of having a lovely day with dd and lovely grandchildren who love all the traditions at our house.

Even my mother, usually the most vociferous regarding any form of rudeness, smiles benignly and chooses to ignore for the sake of a harmonious time with the grandchildren. The more I read on these threads the more I am aware that everything is not always plain sailing with inlaws so we grumble a bit privately afterwards but refuse to allow this to spoil our day.

52bright, I don't see any rudeness in that man's need for his own food. he has a condition that necessitates it.
I can see that getting other food ready for large numbers at the same time can be tricky. perhaps next time he could bring his own microwave and set it up in another room, so as to heat his food without bothering you, getting in your way in the kitchen. it's good that he can join his family at the gathering at your house.
it sounds good to have such a wide age range together; that will particularly help the children to grow up aware of others and the reality of ageing.

kircubbin 2000, and GrannySomerset, what it is to have an ungrateful child, sharper than ta serpent's tooth, as the bard says.
I have seen this close up recently. someone I have been helping, whose children do little, are callous, controlling, too busy, not interested enough to get involved, or even learn the real situation; and not one word of thanks to me nor a card at xmas to acknowledge my unpaid input, support, medical liaison etc.
am feeling quite depressed by the whole situation. would be easier if she had no one. one of them said to her, how do you know you can trust welbeck. I have been to 100+ medical appts since 2013, which now often take most of day. was every day at her side when in-patient 10 weeks, and overnight, uncomfortably, twice when things were dicey. I am struggling to continue. emotionally more than physically. sorry. off topic............---666284836o4hrwefnwlejfcn ldjncaeuvhqldnaec

I missed so many Christmases when my daughter lived in New Zealand and I was still in the UK, that I was delighted to be the host this year. Yes, I am exhausted and seem to have spent more money and bought more stuff than was required. So what? We had a lovely day and lots of fun.

I honestly have got a plasterer in today, he’s here right now.

I think my family think I made him up, so I could get rid of them all last night.

Mine started coming on Christmas Eve and last lot will leave tomorrow. The house is a tip with toys, presents, discarded clothing etc etc etc. Dishwasher on constantly (and thank goodness for it!), kettle always on the boil, leftovers on every kitchen surface, as well as the inevitable things that didn’t make it into the dishwasher. Yes I’m up there with the best/worst of you. My house is never, ever like this.
There have been a few tense moments - why, when we have hosted DD’s partner for three large meals, bed, breakfast etc, has he not given us so much as a bunch of flowers let alone a “proper” present and why did he make a very inappropriate “joke” at the dinner table?? Why do I not keep my mouth shut when DS oversteps the mark with DD? Why does DGD have to go to her (horrible in my opinion!) dad on Christmas Day?
But - they offer to help all the time, DDiL cooked us a beautiful meal, they all (apart from one!) brought lovely presents and contributions to the festivities, DD has brought/made delicious puddings.
I guess it’s about taking the rough with the smooth. Yes, we shall be glad to have the house back to normal but yes, I shall also shed a few tears.
And, novel thought, I think they’ll all be glad to get back to their own houses and their own beds!!

I am wondering, as I start to get back to normal, why all the clothes the children have worn over the last few days are in my washing basket, and my youngest daughter has left a dress which she finds too fiddly to iron!

Oh I’m so glad it’s not just me!

We used to come over from Hollandevery Christmas for 17 years and stay for 10 days with my parents in a 3 bedroom bungalow with DH and 2 DC. I shudder now at how much work it must have been for my mum. I thought she enjoyed it!

We’ve had a houseful and it’s been absolutely wonderful, however ..... it is undoubtedly hard work, planning all with military precision !! Luckily everyone here, bar one ?,chips in and helps with everything. The chaos is short lived and I always think of friends I’ve lost and will never have fun with, or see their GC grow up, so I do count my blessings. But of course, the sense of “phew” when they’ve all gone is of course only natural as we do get tired as we age. Now I’m off to Italy to chill for a week and leaving them all to it ????‍♀️

Love all the posts. I also love catering for the family and really love having them around but getting very tired (husband snores and we don't have enough bedrooms to sleep in separate rooms)!
I would love either to go out for Christmas dinner or be invited somewhere but various complications within the families seem to stop this happening. Nearly 67 and feeling it!

Save the money and go on a cruise we’re thinking of doing that next year ?

Who was it that said "Guests are like fish. They go off after three days."

It’s reassuring to know that most of us feel the same - I do think ageing, becoming more set in one’s habits & routines, plus lower energy levels all play their part. On reflection, as someone else has commented, I guess we should be grateful we’re still a) included in plans, and b) healthy enough to participate fully ...

I agree with PamGeo.
You would miss them if they decide to stay home.

Only had mine for a day and was exhausted!

Mine are limited to two nights by virtue of DGS having to split his xmas between his Dad and Mum. It actually works out just about right for me, I don't think I could stand houseguests for any longer at a stretch, as I am not particularly sociable by nature.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Think yourself very, very lucky. My husband and I had Christmas dinner alone for the second year running and it's horrendous. Not because I don't like him, and my dinner is always bloody amazing, but I'm estranged from my Son (not my choice) who will have spent his time with his gf's family, and my daughter and her partner wanted the day to themselves with their baby. I would have loved what you had. The pain of not having family round me is indescribable.

Morethan2 why dont you suggest that next year your son and his wife host or leave the dogs at home. Dont let it fester speak out. Xxx

Had a little smile Morethan, boot on the other foot here, my lovely son and daughter in law have had us at their place nearly a week and waited hand and foot so I guess they’ll be glad to see the last of us!! New Years at other son and wife for more spoiling, so lucky I know.

We had DS, Dil and two DGC for 5 nights. One night and one day we had the grandkids on our own as parents had a night away (which is actually easier than having them all!).
Christmas Day was the usual excitement of opening and playing with presents, preparing and cooking dinner (inc veggie options), clearing up afterwards, helping getting kids to bed (allocate 1 hour!) and more tidying. When I checked my fitbit that night, I'd done over 13,000 steps, and not set foot outside the house!!

It’s similar to when grandkids stay over. It’s great to see them and enjoy their company but when they leave it’s a big sigh of relief

Well Christmas is over once again & reading the posts above I can identify with a lot of the comments that you all made. A lot of money, time & effort. Including the new pillows !!!!! But this year after 4 difficult years which include being widowed, breast cancer, my eldest dd enduring a very bitter divorce our lives seem to be coming together again. Eldest daughter has new partner & baby so that meant 3 adult children, 2 partners & 5 grandchildren coming to me for the 2 days of Christmas. They all live locally so only joined me during the day apart from my son who stayed for moral support. When all was nearly over on Boxing Day evening we sat round the table playing a board game & shrieking with laughter. Time heals and we are all moving forward together. My husband would have been very proud of us I think. Thankyou for all your posts over the years as they have informed & amused in equal measure but until now I have only been a stalker !!!!
So here’s to the start of the new 20’s Happy New Year everyone xxxx