I love them honest I do but I’m glad they’ve gone.

morethan2 - four people and two dogs is a tall order to accommodate for four days when all the normal routine goes out of the window - but at least you were all together, you spent Christmas with your grandchildren, and they were able not to split from their family pets. Yes, it takes some effort and people are glad to get back to normality but please count your blessings. There are lots of people on this group who would give their right arm to be able to even see their grandchildren on Christmas Day let alone be in their company 24/7. I'm around my grandchildren thank goodness, if I were rationed or ignored like many gransnetters I would be devastated, so be glad that you're tired for a very good reason.

I'm staying with relatives, a long way from home. I was invited. Apparently only by one of the couple.... the other is being extremely off with me ?. I'm confident I haven't said or done anything offensive, I can only hazard that I'm unwanted ?. I'm here tonight for the last night then onto another relative tomorrow for the rest of my stay. I definitely won't be making this mistake again. I feel terrible. I have tried to be helpful, have cooked, contributed and been tidy. I don't know what else I can do tbh.
Hey ho. Nowt as queer as folk

We had DD & partner, DS & DIL + 2 grandchildren. One brought starters and one brought an alternative to Christmas pudding. That helped a lot but I found the organising of beds for everyone and the prep for 2 different dinners (vegetarian and traditional) a bit stressful.
Most people helped a bit with getting drinks and clearing the table but DD’s partner spent the day with his headphones on listening to who knows what which I found very rude!
One thing I’ve learnt NOT to ask on Boxing Day is has everyone slept well as there’s always an argument about who gets the blow up bed??

Sorry you were made to feel like that Purplepoppies

I loved having them, children, partners, grandchildren, step daughter over the course of two days, but glad when we had the house back to ourselves and could begin to pack up the debris. GC had particularly large things that came in big boxes, I asked my gd if she wanted to take main present home "I'll leave it here" she replied. Thought to myself, "where can I tuck that away" Her mother rang last night with "could we possibly pick it up, she'd like it at home" Quckly ran round seeing if what else we could push their way. Little Brother took a handful of action men. Every little helps as Tesco were prone to tell us!

I wonder if part of the reason it all feels too "intense" is that families, generally, are much more scattered around the country (and sometimes around the world) than they used to be and so we don't have that day to day contact anymore, where a member of family can just drop in for an hour or so? Or, at Christmas, where they can just come to Mum & Dad for the day and then back to their own homes? Now it's "all or nothing", or "feast or famine" - so they're either with us in our homes 24/7 or we hardly see them at all. No wonder it all feels so stressful?

I would have loved to have hosted, especially this year as my daughter and family have returned from living in Australia for 8 years so it’s wonderful to have them home. However my house is not big enough to host both my daughters and families so we went to other daughters and all helped from cooking to tidying to clearing up after presents to putting kids to bed etc.
When I read of all grandparents who don’t see there grandchildren as my mum would say “ I count my blessings”.

purplepoppies you might not have done anything. The couple may have started an unresolved row just before you arrived, and they're just off! Not off with you

I’m always waving mine off with a big smile thinking I need a glass of wine, the first thing hubby does is get the hoover out ?

I live in a tiny one bedroomed flat but fortunately have a sofa bed in the sitting room - I decamp to that whilst my youngest son and his long term girlfriend use my bedroom. I abolutely love to see them, however their way of life is so different to mine that I find it quite a struggle! I normally eat my evening meal between 6 and 7pm - they eat around 10 -11pm. I get up early, my 'Indian daughter' (pet name we both agree on!) gets up late morning when not working. I look forward to watching my Christmas favourites on the beeb and they like Netflix box sets...etc etc! Plus I cooked enough to feed us all after various day visits to family earlier this week and most of it is now frozen or in the (delighted) dog! I do love them so much, but they go back to their London Life tomorrow - and whilst I shall shed a few tears and have a little heartache when I drop them to the train station, I'll be so glad to be back in my own bed, with room to move and no-one to worry about chez moi, other than me and the dog!

Thankyou for all the posts by those who don’t have their families at Christmas but who would love to - helps the rest of us to get things into proportion ...

I agree AllotmentLil
I’m trying to get a balance in how blessed I feel
We are all human at the end of the day ...
I’m gutted that things went a bit awry for me ...a misunderstanding has plunged me into a panic and I’m trying not to dwell and embrace everything but now I’m feeling wary ... I know how blessed I am however
I thank God everyday that I am blessed to see our boys happy ... to me that’s what matters ..: Thinking of many who are desperately lonely :0( ...

I probably had the best of all worlds this year, though nothing is perfect. Just DH and I at lunch on 25, then he was not well enough to accompany me to DD, so I went on my own to spend time with that family, home again got tea.
Boxing Day DH went to his daughter to stay, and went I to my son who lives locally. All the family were there including DD, four grandchildren, aged 12-18, good time with family games.
Quiet day home alone yesterday. Today DD and family coming for lunch. DH will be home tomorrow.

I used to love the Christmasses when my parents were alive when we had anything up to 16 people for Christmas lunch !
One year we ended up sitting round a pasting table as the dining table wasn't long enough!
Since my parents died, no one comes to visit for anything. The family will be getting together tomorrow, but I know that will most probably be the last I see of them until probably Easter and I won't even see them on my birthday next week as whatever cards they have will be handed over tomorrow!

I have found it stressful so we have booked ourselves into a Lake District hotel for next Christmas for three days

My son came to stay Xmas eve and his wife went to her parents. He went to see his old friends. He came 'home' at 1.30am slightly worse for wear and was sick. So by now I am awake! Xmas day my other son and his wife were due at midday-ish. The ish turned into 2ish. My partner prepared and cooked all the dinner and I helped to dish up. My youngest son had a hangover but managed his dinner well. We opened our presents and had a lovely day. I took my son and his wife home at midnight and my other Son stayed the night. The next morning his wife came round and we opened more presents. In the afternoon my partners son came round for a few hours and we had more food.

My point is, much as it was a very long tiring day I am so grateful for it all as I have been quite ill and I did think I may not be here to see it all. (probably over dramatising but it was how I felt at the time) . My partner has been great despite a post I wrote some time back saying how selfish he could be and he has certainly stepped up to the plate.

So..... yes it has been hard work (changing beds, washing etc) and I spent most of yesterday asleep and resting, but I wouldnt have changed it for the world.

Mine have been here since 11.30am Christmas morning. We’re off to the pantomime this pm, and they are going home tomorrow.

I have loved every minute, and don’t look forward to them going. All I’ll be left with is the cleaning, bed changing, and sorting the rubbish.

I’ll be seeing them again in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime the house will feel very quiet and tidy.

My son, his wife and 3 children arrived on the 23rd and my other son and his partner are living with us “temporarily “ already. That means 5 children under 9 who seem to find it very difficult to get along with each other. We’re expecting more family today and quite frankly I’ve had enough! It’s just hard work even though they have helped. I just wish they could just come and then go. A week is just too much. Saying all of that I’d probably be sad if it didn’t happen but a happy medium maybe................?

Yes it is hard work.
Yes it’s a relief when it’s all over.
Yes, you will most definitely long for these giddy days in years to come.

I'm not sure of your age but I agree that number of people (plus dogs) was a huge workload for anyone over 65 years. Why are the younger ones not hosting? When we were in our 30s and 40s we had the parents over to our house. I wouldn't have dreamt of expecting my mother to cater for the whole family in her 70s.
Alternatively, if you downsize your home then there isn't room to accommodate visitors. Maybe a thought for the future?

www.poetryinternational.org/pi/poem/16584/auto/0/0/Helen-Dunmore/The-Malarkey/en/nocache

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201912/medium-761025-6c360725-c80b-4e15-8587-b0989941bf53.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201912/medium-998805-914c8da2-3909-4295-9f9a-ab8da77ab141.png

This poem says it for me, struggling as I am with pain after looking after grown up children over Christmas!

Exhausting ? Yes !! Would I change it for the world ? No never. !! If my family and friends look back on times here with fondness or a bit of a smile on their face then im happy. It will be their turn soon enough. Karma. ?My best advice is to say on arrival "Don't forget I do hosting so well that I don't do waitressing. Help yourselves and if you do make a cuppa make sure I get one!!"

I've so loved reading this thread in getting people's perspectives on entertaining that I'm another who feels blessed to have such closeness with all the members of my step-family some of whom are scattered around the country.

Years ago I more often than not entertained 14/16 for Christmas dinner and beyond and I'm still reminded of it by all of them which is so lovely. I was younger of course 40's/50's and early 60's, then it was fewer but I took everything in my stride . At 79 I still like catering but couldn't do for the volume of people, I'd be worn out.

We all get on and I'm still " nan " to those nearing 50 or just turned 50 ( eldest ). My step-daughter who stayed with me for 3 nights has turned 70, with only 9 years difference between us ( more like a sisterly relationship ) and she did the dishes all the time.

There were just 4 of us for the Day so it was just nice, step-D, D and one GS. I have my own family of 5 in Australia and have a feeling that some of my step-family will be going on holiday to them next year .

One step- GS and his partner stayed with my D and family when they were in Oz on a work visa so we've all kept close as a family. Distance is difficult for my family there but everyone's in touch on Facebook or the other things.

I've even done Christmas dinner in 40 degree heat in Oz when my D there has wanted to entertain her friends to an " English " Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, for about a dozen of us.

No wonder I'm frazzled now and again hahahaha.
I have to sympathise with those who really are on their own, not out of choice, or those who have to walk on eggshells with in-laws or the like . I doubt I'd cope very well under those circumstances.

Yes, mine still all come to me for at least two days over the Christmas period. That makes 8 adults, 2 teens and 3 small ones.
Catering is getting more stressful the older I get and sorting beds/airbeds etc is physically demanding. They like to come cos it's the only time they all get together and we are the midpoint geographically.

I don't really enjoy it as I have so much to do. Any suggestions? A hotel would be too expensive.