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Christmas

Comparing how much grandparents spend

(106 Posts)
Cabbie21 Sat 28-Dec-19 21:00:59

My 15 year old grandson is lovely but has some less endearing ways. This year I overheard him openly comparing how much we had spent on him, compared to his other grandparents. Fortunately I did not hear him say anything nasty, just factual.

Neither set of GPS is hard up, but we set lower limits of what we consider reasonable. We have no intention of trying to keep up, but it is a bit embarrassing to see the difference in our gifts.
I hope we are not being mean. Any thoughts for next year?

dragonfly46 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:36:12

I am afraid I always buy practical (useful) presents if I can. The GC are getting funny dressing gowns with their names on and a chocolate reindeer in the pocket. Standing joke is my son gets knickers and socks.
We put money regularly throughout the year into our GC’s savings accounts.

inishowen Sun 29-Dec-19 10:39:53

My grandchildren are 7,6,4 and 2. The eldest asked how many presents each had got from us. She had got a large expensive item while the others had got several smaller things. I wasnt offended. She was just asking a reasonable question I suppose.

Kim19 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:42:06

I gather bits and pieces over the year as I see them and therefore have no idea of the total outlay. Happily my GC are still at the stage where they don't know about the monetary value of much. Great fun time was had this year. Hallelujah! I'm sure your grandson is able to discern between love and 'stuff'. Thumbs up to you.

Sara65 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:42:20

We have six grandchildren, this year decided to give the oldest two money, as I can’t really think what on earth to get them, the four younger ones spoiled as usual.

I spend significantly more than any of you have said so far, one set of in-laws spend a similar amount, the grandmother of the other children gives a small token gift, but I think she’s got about fifteen grandchildren.

Three of them had lap tops this year, along with clothes, books, games, try and avoid rubbish. The baby had an assortment of clothes and wooden toys, and books.

Lupatria Sun 29-Dec-19 10:42:30

i gave money this year - bad health stopped me shopping. i gave my two children £30 each and my four grandaughters £20 each.
they all get £20 each for birthdays.
i used to buy presents for everybody but it seemed that whatever i bought disappeared into their rooms and never saw the light of day again - so money is so much easier.

DillytheGardener Sun 29-Dec-19 10:43:29

I spend about £50 per my children and dils. When my first grandchild is born I will maybe spend more than that as he/she will be the first and I’d like to get things that are a bit special!

Merryweather Sun 29-Dec-19 10:43:49

My mom spends around £150 per grand child for birthdays and the same at Christmas. This does include clothes, books etc.
We usually spend around same, but this year we couldn't spend anything like it.

timetogo2016 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:43:53

Personally I would have a quiet word with him and tell him what you overheard.
Were not communists after all and it may make him think again.
H`es lucky you buy /give him anything tbh.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:44:14

To be honest we are not in the least concerned what the other grandparents spend,we have an amount we stick to it’s generally 100 pound each grandchild we have Four, and we give money to our adult children, everyone seems happy enough,

Sb74 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:54:36

It’s not a competition but if it you can afford it it’s nice to treat your family at Christmas. My mum is beyond tight compared to anyone!! My husband and I got a cheap plant set thing and a box of chocolates!!? The kids didn’t get much more. It does annoy me because it’s just mean and thoughtless. My mil got lovely presents for us all and my kids, who are step-grandchildren. It’s not about the money as such just about showing you care and be thoughtful. I think£40/50 is ok on grandchildren, £170 seems quite a lot but I can imagine getting carried away myself when my kids and kids!!

BlueSapphire Sun 29-Dec-19 10:57:08

My DGDs have no other grandparent than me. I usually aim to spend about £30-£50 each per child, and the same for DS and DD and their partners. Although I gave DD and DS some of late DH's money as well. They might as well have the benefit of some of it now. DD has said she might buy herself a nice piece of jewellery in memory of her dad, which sounds lovely.

HettyMaud Sun 29-Dec-19 10:59:30

£50 birthday. £50 Christmas. But vast amounts during the year - outings, sport-related stuff, meals... you name it. But I do only have the 1 grandchild so love to spoil him Wouldn't be able to afford all this if there were more.

GreenGran78 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:07:25

My 20 and 18 year old GC got £50 each. My 2 year old GD got clothes (bought in the seasonal sales, earlier in the year) one toy and a few books.
The adults have long agreed not to buy for each other.
I spend what I can afford, and it has been an expensive year for me, this year. They were all very happy with what they received.

JackyB Sun 29-Dec-19 11:12:13

My AC don't like accumulating Stuff so I keep presents to a minimum. A couple of books for the little ones or a good quality wooden toy. Now they're growing older, board games will be on the menu. I took one to the family in America when I went to help out with the new baby just before Christmas, but they said it was enough that I'd flown over (which cost me, of course, a four-figure sum).

DiLs parents are quite generous, but she is an only child. Her 'maiden' aunt is always sending parcels, too. The DGS is too young to think about what things cost, but we are just happy that he really loves all his grandparents and enjoys playing with all of us. There is no animosity between any of us.

The other DiL has a very talented family and I am in awe of the things her carpenter brother and needlewoman aunt have made for the DGDs. Not to be measured in monetary value.

Cid24 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:12:21

We don’t have grand children , but we spend no more than £50 on each of our children. I refuse to be drawn into over consumerism at Xmas.

Ilovecheese Sun 29-Dec-19 11:12:27

We have 9 grandchildren, probably about £25 each. I've never thought about what the various other grandparents spend.

Shortlegs Sun 29-Dec-19 11:22:24

It's not supposed to be a competitive sport. Stick with your principles.

HurdyGurdy Sun 29-Dec-19 11:24:14

I get everyone four things to open at Christmas. I spend about £200 on each person - husband, three adult children (none currently have partners) and two grandchildren.

I put money away every month to spread the cost. I spend roughly the same amount on each of them for birthdays.

I have no idea how much my granddaughter's other grandparents spend, but it has no bearing on what I spend.

My grandson's other grandparents are both dead.

ReadyMeals Sun 29-Dec-19 11:25:00

It was just pure chance you overheard him. I bet there are very few people who don't make similar comparisons - some silently, some more carefully so they are not overheard. And most of us probably wouldn't admit it. But as we get older we are more understanding about why differences occur.

Cabbie21 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:27:48

Thanks for all your helpful comments.

Saggi Sun 29-Dec-19 11:31:56

My grandson needed to upgrade to a full size classical guitar this year to enable him to carry in with guitar lessons... I obliged with half the money (about £142?).... my granddaughter wanted a electronic keyboard , as the intention I think is to encourage them away from their ‘technology’ into a new venture! So be it, I paid £60 for that ( reduced from £99)... it’s the most I’ve spent on them . BUT , they have no other grandparents ,AND , I can afford to be a little generous this year! Normally spend about £70 in each child with smaller presents... and usually£100 in son and daughter . Not forgetting son in law. Apart from one friend that’s all I buy for. Usually put upper limit of £500 for seven people! Don’t think it’s mean or over generous. You set your own limit and stick to it.!

Juicylucy Sun 29-Dec-19 11:43:37

I have 3 granddaughters from the age of 10 to 14 and I spend £80.00 on each of them. Of course younger ones get more for there money but my teenage granddaughter understands that.

jenpax Sun 29-Dec-19 11:50:12

I have had to rein in spending this year due to a health related drop in my income; and also I now have 6 DGC to buy for as well as 3 DD and 2 SIL. So my budget was £40 per GC and £20 per adult.
However I also helped with Christmas food shops for 2 AC.
Through the year I help 2 of them with bills, and food shopping on a monthly basis and also cover some extra curricular activities and a nursery bill, so I don’t feel too bad that the other sets of GP spend more, because I know that they are( in 2 cases) much better situated than I am currently, have less GC to buy for, and don’t help with all the stuff I do throughout the year

pooohbear2811 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:52:52

have to say I do not ever even attempt to keep up with any of the other grandparents. They are both a lot richer than me, but also older than me, so I can do things like chase the kids round the park that they wish they could do. To me time is the best gift of all. One spent £3000 sending the three yr old to Disney in France for her 3rd birthday.
I have explained to the older 2 ( 17 and 13) that this year I am skint as been off work sick for 4 months so earning no overtime and therefore we would not be going the panto, my normal present to them. (25 for the three of us subsidised through work)
This yr between the 7 of them I have spent approx £25 with stuff from charity shops, so very green and eco friendly. Plus picked up bits and pieces for free of Facebook and got stuff from friends and neighbours that their kids are to old for now.
We do what we call second Christmas where they come to us and spend the day opening their presents from our side of the family. It is a great day. and they all look forward to it as do I.
They also get hand made items from me, one getting a pokemon jumper, one a sea turtle etc things that money cant buy.
The 5 under 6 yr olds wont even notice it is second hand.

BBbevan Sun 29-Dec-19 11:57:12

My 2 DGDs get about £100 each for Christmas and birthdays. The elder GD gets £50 a month pocket money. This started when she went to secondary school. DG2 will get the same when she moves schools next year. We also have given , since GD1 was born, £250 a month to their parents to help with music, dance,lessons and school trips etc.