Why can I not give my grandchildren presents?

They are too young right now so I wouldn't worry about it- but yes id give my grandson his present separately (maybe call him in the kitchen or somewhere& explain its cause the little girls still believe in santa) But in our family the younger ones who still believe also think that we get the gifts and santa then collects them to deliver on xmas morning.(with maybe one or two signed 'from santa' as well!) It works well for the tiny ones and of course by time they get to 7ish (one of my GS was 5-6) they soon learn at school from others that he doesnt really exist! Some older ones just go along with the pretence either for sake of younger siblings, or so they carry on getting presents they want?- which i presume is what's happening with any older ones in your D in L's family?What i dont understand is why your own son (and all their other halves in her family) are going along with this charade for so long!Nor why they aren't allowed to have their own opinions/beliefs?! Maybe for the teeny tiny kids yes but surely any others must know the truth by now?! Its sheer craziness! ?Don't worry they WILL learn the truth at school.Then you could say well your mum still believes in him so we do it for her- but i bought you the 'such&such'-but maybe when on your own.?

Anyway,this might all be aside as we might be still in lockdown- so there will be no one there when presents are opened but the girls & their parents will there? Also even if its 'rule of 6' only then your GS won't be there as well if we are not allowed big family gatherings? So this really could be a moot point! Why is every one thinking we still are ALL going to be gathered round the trees come christmas?Thats also madness unless you actually WANT the virus to stay forever?!?

So when her kids stop believing that Santa brings the presents does that mean they don't get anything??

This generation of young parents seem to be becoming control freaks. We've always had parents making rules for their kids, but it's only in the last couple of decades I've become aware of them thinking they can make rules for the rest of the family too. It's really just too cheeky for words to tell people how they can present their own gifts. Were we not strict enough with our kids that they are thinking THEY can control US now?

I really don't see why her family (your D-in-L's) are carrying on this 'tradition' so long though and the whole family are going along with the pretence??) Surely it would be enough to say "lets see what santas brought' then also maybe put 'from santa, and nanna' or something on the gift? Or do it with their parents gifts only? Or do it just till 6/7 or some such.It seems like nonsense & maybe they will cease doing when D in L's parents or GP's pass on?have you asked her this? It seems strange she wont compromise.Might be a sign of trouble to come.?

Riggie

So when her kids stop believing that Santa brings the presents does that mean they don't get anything??

Very good point!

Riggie-??

This is such a small thing and the gc are only 2 years old one 7 months old - they certainly won't notice xmas yet.

This is what the parents want and they are the key for you to have access to your gc.

If you refuse to follow their guidelines, you may find yourself unable to buy any presents whatsoever in the future at all, not even from Santa. Thread carefully.

I grew up with my cousins getting presents on xmas eve and I didnt. I saw them open the presents and I had nothing to open.
Honestly, it was no big deal.

"Nobody is allowed to put gifts under the tree to our girls. I also have a grandson with my older son, how can I watch him open all his presents from"
The language you are using to refer to your gc is very telling: "our" girls" and "I have a grandson with my older son"

Lilyflower

Buy the children something very cheap and small to put under the tree and unwrap 'from Santa'. Then, when you appear, bring your own presents and give them to the little ones.

Your son and DIL are being, as they say on Mumsnet, 'CFs' where the 'C' stands for cheeky.

If you cannot get away with this you will only have a while to wait before the children become aware that 'Santa' is a benign fiction and someone else coughed up for the generous gifts.

Doing this will only strain relationships.

Please don’t try to be sneaky.

Ask your son all the questions you have calmly, then decide if you can work in those parameters. If you can’t, a larger discussion needs to be had.

In the end these are his children, abs he and his wife choose the traditions they want to follow.

trisher

What about presents from other people? Don't you buy for the others in the family? Children should learn it isn't just about Santa bringing them things but about everyone thinking of others and what they would like. My GCs have stockings (huge things!) first thing on Christmas morning (which I send little things for) and then family presents from under the tree. Opening the presents and saying thankyou to the person who gave it is something every child should do. And as they grow older they should be giving things as well. One of the prized jobs in our family is dishing out the presents from under the tree.

This☝️sums up the whole concept of children learning the act of giving and receiving, and thanking. I remember it well.

I might be being a bit cynical here (comes with age!) , but is this so that no thank you letters have to be written? I'll just leave this here and wonder - do children write them anymore anyway?

Yes im sure schools mention the 'giving' subject too- or 'giving& reveiving' and thanking and so on? Especially in faith schools.I dont think 'santa' is a big mention these days.

I have to say I cannot believe you are even thinking that. At 2 and 7 months they will have no thoughts on the matter or even be aware. Also some of the replies are unbelievable. People seem to think that Christmas is about lots of presents and the best and biggest. Majority of people have forgotten what it is all about and it's become greed, greed and more greed. It should not matter what you get, how many you get, how expensive it is. Most kids these days have everything all they want all year round. They do not know the meaning any more. Therefore they grow up and their kids are taught the same bad attitude. Christmas has become a business only on how a company can fleece everyone for tat and charge exorbitant prices for rubbish. Christmas should be taken back a few steps to when kids were happy just to get a couple of presents and not always the best to beat what their friends get. This is why they have no idea of value and appreciation anymore.

Only give what you can afford, don't get anything on loans and credit cards unless you can pay them off straight away. The world would be a better place. Less greed and more care.

*Receiving.lol?

We used to put a label on the presents “From Father Christmas, asked for by..........”

Maudib- no one said anything about about buying more than you can afford or getting into debt!What is the matter with you?Are you Martin Lewis's wife???

Yes. In our family too. Stockings in the morning. The tree after dinner when everyone’s sitting down. Two children chosen to hand them out - one is Father Christmas and the other is his helper, Black Tom.

Nannan2

Children are quite young these days when they stop believing in Santa so this will stop being an issue then.

That's the way we always did it and I still remember the frisson of pleasure at the crackly stocking at the end of my bed.

When my children were little, they were told that Santa put little gifts into their stockings and that other gifts came from us, family and friends. That way they understood that we couldn't always afford to buy everything they asked for & therefore were not overly disappointed that 'Santa' hadn't let them down. Obviously we tried to grant their wishes. They never ever asked for outrageous things and appreciated what they did receive & have all grown up grounded hard working people..

This seems to be a lot of fuss for two little children who won't know any different, frankly.

I really do not understand this controlling stance. When my DD born she was the only child in a large much older family of my LH. What I realised from the start is my D would only have her GM and GAs for a few years and that they and she should enjoy those years as much as possible. There were of cause times when I thought them too indulgent but they loved her dearly and she has wonderful happy memories of her life with them. By the age of 10 all had died, and at 50 D still cherishes those years.

This reminds me of something that happened when I was little and still believed in Santa. For some reason, just before Christmas one year, I asked my mum why she and my dad didn’t get me gifts. The poor woman probably ran out quickly to get something that was from them and I recall exactly what it was - a new leotard and tights for my dance class. Children can be pretty smart and I’m guessing it will seem odd that other family members exchange gifts with one another yet the children only receive from Santa.

I always leave my Grandchildren gifts with Santa then they're there for them on Christmas day I don't need them to know they're from me it's about the magic of Father Christmas not me