I intensely dislike christmas.

A lot of women feel the same, in fact it seems that the female population devide quite distinctly into two camps, those who really really love it, and the rest of us who don't.
I was thinking the other day that I put of a cheerful face, spend several weeks preparing for one day watching the family demolish what I've prepared - and I'm expected to enjoy it!
Why?
I have two little gits of grandkids too, people are allowed to call their grandchildren gits if that's what they are! How DARE they go into my bedroom and root among my things? My makeup and underwear are NOT their toys, and their parents think its funny. Going into my private room and opening my private drawers is just not on! but their parents (OK my son and his wife) think the children are bright and funny. The children should be chastised for invading other people's privacy.
No I hate Christmas.
I too have pain issues and at 80 I think its about time Christmas was made FOR me, not BY me! Its exhausting.
And don't get me started on New Year's Eve, expected to go out for a meal and an evening of artificial jollity and kiss a lot of strangers? Thank gawd what won't happen this year.

It’s really back to my war cry of how many of us are spending Christmas exactly as we want, and you definitely are not. As others have said, surely it’s time to call a halt?
I loved everything about Christmas when our children were wee, and we just stayed at home on our own, and my parents popped in for drinks on Christmas Day. It was lovely. Then later, the Bodach’s stepfather died, so we were lumbered with his mother and aunt, then other relatives who would be alone. Sadly, after that my mother died at Christmas, as did my father a few years later so we escaped to the sun at Christmas. Last Christmas the Bodach was dying, so once again I’ve another reason to dislike Christmas. Mind you, I am glad we made the decision to go away for those years, as at least we enjoyed some Christmases together in more recent years. Please speak up now, so that you too can enjoy some peaceful time to yourself, doing what YOU want.

Have never heard a grandma say her DGC were ‘little gits’ and they were not happy to see them.What a sad state of affairs!
Especially when a new poster to GN says that.....near Christmas too.
Good tidings of comfort and joy eh?

Lucca, not sure what you mean? Do you mean you dont believe Grannyscrooge?

Well you have the perfect excuse not to have the "little gits" (made me laugh too!) this year. Just say you're worried about Covid and you don't think socialising over the Christmas period is a good idea. You can just stay at home with your son then and not bother with all the cooking etc.

The little gits term is probably just reflecting exhaustion. As long as she has used it here and not in front of the kids, it's probably just a way to get her frustration off her chest.

Being a full time carer, especially with your own pain, is exhausting. Caregiver burn out is a thing. I can totally see why a carer would need to let off some steam in a place away from her family.

My initial post seems a bit harsh.
At the time of typing I did not have all the facts.
However the use of the term “ little gits” does conjure up the image of someone who is bitter.

Please allow yourself to forego the holiday activities. You will not have to endure the stress and concerns that seem to worsen your physical conditions. The children will be free to enjoy the holiday without feeling guilty about their exuberance. No apologies are needed.

Sophiasnana

Lucca, not sure what you mean? Do you mean you dont believe Grannyscrooge?

It just sounds a bit OTT.

I think the OP should try and relax as much as possible, there are weeks to go before the big day.Every evening I put on my
Furry ( not quite a onesie) and listen to lovely Christmas music ...

It sounds very reasonable to me.
Grandsons are gits, too.

We came away from visiting a relative of my husband's just before Christmas one year and he declared that was the last time, we wouldn't be going back until their children had left home.
They were spoilt as well.
I didn't argue with his decision!

Nothing wrong with 'little gits', it sounds like a good description to me. Children are not brought up to be seen and not heard anymore. You only have to visit the nearest supermarket to find that is true. I think I'd put up with it if I were you, though. So many old people are on their own, especially this year, and you may regret it if you turn them away. On the other hand, you should tell your daughter that you cannot manage Christmas dinner on your own. You could say you will provide the food but that she will have to cook it. If she is ok for money tell her to bring the food and you will lend her your kitchen. And get a lock put on your bedroom door, GrannyScrooge. Hope it goes well.

Granyscrooge, you have my sympathy.

I recommend you simplify the ceremony by giving them fish fingers and chips with green peas and ketchup. Followed by bought pudding of some sort that wont give the children indigestion.

Can you buy the sort of door stop that wedges under doors that are to remain out of bounds?

Buy a lot of cheap small toys and mess- free modelling clay. You dole out toys at intervals when boredom sets in.

Hi, I am not surprised you are miserable. An autistic person must find it a huge strain when family descend on you. We have an Autistic child in the family, and they cant stand noise, and any change to their routine. And I would suspect, when the visitors go home, you bear the brunt of it. Be brave, and tell your daughter how you feel, not the little gits bit though. You life must be very determined by your son. You must be exhausted. Your daughter might feel shes supporting you by coming for the day. Time to be honest. Maybe boxing day, for a shorter visit, and a few snacks. Your daughter wont know unless you tell her

lemongrove

I think the OP should try and relax as much as possible, there are weeks to go before the big day.Every evening I put on my
Furry ( not quite a onesie) and listen to lovely Christmas music ...

Watching some Christmas films too I trust. Presents (already discussed with all recipients ) all wrapped, sprouts on,

Something along those lines Lucca and a large Baileys to hand.

Your daughter wont know unless you tell her

Exactly! I think you need to talk kindly but honestly to each other

“The big day”. “Build up to Christmas” “countdown to Christmas”
Anyone else hate these ?

You aren't alone. I'm not a big Christmas lover either, but my family loves it, so I usually get some part of their joy and happiness. In general, though, I have good memories of Christmas from my childhood, I just don't feel this excitement anymore.

Same with me. I find it annoying especially with all these people rushing to get present and shops getting a good bunch of money out of it. There is a thick layer of marketing ploy in the pre-Christmas enthusiasm, but many people tend to ignore it.

Lucca

“The big day”. “Build up to Christmas” “countdown to Christmas”
Anyone else hate these ?

Absolutely me.

When I broke my arm one Christmas, the family still all came to my house, but they did all the work. The following year, my arm was fine, but they still did all the work. That carried on and became the tradition. Each brought an element of the meal early in the morning and they did all the prep together in the kitchen, children included. The grandchildren scrubbed carrots, made breadcrumbs for the bread sauce and peeled the sprouts. Then chef son directed operations while daughter kept the drinks flowing. All the adults entertained the grandchildren. After lunch and present opening, they not only washed up and loaded the dishwasher, but they cleared up the house too, with the grandchildren helping. When everyone left in the evening, my house was tidier and cleaner than when they arrived.

I see no reason why your family can’t do something similar. Children are a pain if ignored and left to their own devices, but if they are part of the food preparation and the clearing up, they have just as much fun without any of the annoyance.

You’d be surprised how many people feel the same.
It’s all so fake.
Well, most of it.
It was lovely when my kids were little seeing them all excited & writing Christmas lists etc.
But once they grow up Christmas can be quite tedious I agree.

I think the older we get the more boring Christmas becomes because we’ve done it so many times.
A cottage in the country until it’s all over sounds great.