Dealing with unwanted Christmas gifts

Settled that problem easy this year! My DDiL was given ‘Smellies’ she doesnt use & I was given some I do not use! So thankfully as the giver of the presents wasnt with us we swopped & both got what we would use! Sorted without offending the giver!

What a great idea.

I agree with Martin Lewis - we’ve cut back on adult presents. It was totally unnecessary and it added a lot of stress at Christmastime. I now only buy for my husband, our children/grandchildren, my Mum and our great-nephews/nieces. (Oh, not forgetting chocs for our milkman! My Dad was a milkman and hardly had a day off at Christmas.🙄)
With the money I’ve saved I now buy myself something I really want and I also make donations to charities. It’s a win/win for everyone. 👍🎄🎅🏻⛄️
If I do get unsuitable presents I sell them on eBay/Vinted or donate them, but now that doesn’t happen very often.

I leave unwanted items in my car and the next time I need to drive a long distance, I drop them off at a charity shop. That way there is little chance the giver will ever know.

With immediate family we either ask for ideas rather than a wish list . And I always keep the receipts in case things are broken or don’t fit . This year I only got one odd present , from a relative who has a history of odd presents .
My mother was another one who kept unused presents . When she downsized we found a box full of unused presents , all with labels stating the giver and occasions plus dates . What saddened me was that some were from my dc who had saved up their pocket money to buy a present for grandma’s birthday or Christmas. My mother was quite stressed with the move so I didn’t have the heart to mention it to her .
I have a friend who has very different taste to me and over the years has bought me some hideous home items . She’s a regular visitor , so I’ve kept them and get them out when she visits. Thank goodness because she often mentions them .

Gift giving is so tricky - sometimes you score and sometimes you lose. So my family and I have agreed to not do adult gifts any longer. Only for the grandkids. I’ve also negotiated this with my friends.

I do like to buy gifts though and have to hold back, especially at Christmas and adult birthdays. No one minds giving/getting a small, has to be USEFUL, trinket - a nice jar of spice, a purse lotion, a unique nightlight, Homemade Anything, a fun keyring, note cards, etc.
Food/Wine Gifts Always Welcome and Festive.

You can still have fun and not offend anyone or spend mega bucks. Regifting is SO tacky - and it shows.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
USA Gundy

In our family we now only give presents to children/teenagers, until they are 21 or whenever their education ends if it is later than that. It has saved a lot of waste and embarrassment. From secondary school age onwards the presents are usually money, because that is what they want.

The Bodach’s mother always bought me an outfit which SHE liked, and always said, ‘ If I’d wear it, I know you would’. I always made a point of wearing it when I saw her, so that just meant the unsuitable outfits continued.
I am a very grateful receiver.

Despite telling a good friend frequently that I don't like 'stuff' and actively get rid of ornaments, every birthday I get an ornament from her. Over the years I have got rid of many. It's just not my thing.

MissInterpreted

I hate the idea of 'wish lists' - so entitled! If someone presented me with a wish list, I'd make a point of NOT getting anything on it. I was brought up to believe that you should be grateful for any gift.

What a waste and disappointment if the present is totally wrong, people pretending they like their gift?
Ours are not called wish lists, but Christmas lists, the same for Birthday lists, and my family have been doing it for nearly 70 years, it works well, and avoids waste or returns.

I hate receiving presents! I do not need or want anything. Prefer they donate to charity. We give our girls a small amount of money and likewise the grandchildren. We dont buy gifts nowadays for each other either. I love going round the charity shops after christmas.

crazyH

Yes sodapop - I think your mum treasured your gifts. That’s why she wrapped them in tissue paper 😢

Thank you crazyH I hadn't really looked at it like that.

All I can say is never ,ever give perfume to someone you don't know well. Perfume is such a personal thing. I have been given perfumes that were expensive but just non something I could wear. Such a waste of money.
I much prefer to ask what someone would like or give them something I'm 100% sure they will like.
This year we did a few larger practical gifts and others came from Charity shops... just as nice and not using new resources to make... and not ending up in landfill further down the line.

Louella12

I'm just wondering how on earth they knew it was the handbag they'd bought!

I don't think I'd have leaped to the conclusion these ladies came to.

Imagine how stupid these people would look if sister then had 2 handbags identical. Was this handbag a one off? She could then gift one to sister and one to Mum who apparently like it.

I absolutely hate the term “unwanted gifts” - such an ungracious way to describe them! I prefer to say “unneeded gifts” !

There’s a web site/app called Things To Get Me where you can make a list for yourself and also look at other people’s list (with permission). If I do receive gifts that I don’t want (having gratefully received them) I give them to a charity shop so they get some benefit from it. Nobody that gives me presents live anywhere near me so there’s no chance of causing offence.

I sometimes get unwanted presents from clients but I either give them to our lovely neighbours if it's booze or give them to a charity shop on my bi monthly visit to a distant town.
Family presents are always good, we only do token ones and only things we know are wanted or needed.

I've gently let it be known to my children and other family members that I am lucky enough to have everything I need, and as my 'wants' are few and extremely simple, a book token is an absolute delight, or an afternooon having a cup of tea and a catch up with any or all of them would be a most welcome gift. We don't do adult Christmas presents now, which has been a relief all round, and for birthdays my family know that if I buy them anything they don't like or want, I keep receipts and they must change the item or have a refund for something that they really like.

Un-needed gifts usually get donated to a charity raffle or tombola. I only re-gift if I'm sure the recipient would like it.

I have tried to cut back on unnecessary card sending & gift buying, & made my feelings very clear. But when meeting up recently with someone who has been a friend for over 40 yrs, I was secretly horrified to be given a gift as I’d made it clear (or so I thought) that it would be far better to meet up more often & have lunch out instead of presents. It was doubly awkward as I was then in the position of getting her a gift & posting it on. Just what do you do?! Yes, I know she meant well but I have the unneeded gift, which I cannot use as it is unsuitable & though I have regifted items in the past I couldn’t with this. In the end I donated it to a charity raffle.
It took me many years to convince DH not to get me gifts, we now spend the money in ways we both enjoy instead.
Clearing my parents’ house, there were wedding gifts to them still with the cards. Tablecloths & linens, kept for ‘best’? Never used in 35 years! 😕

This is why 2 of my DAC get money biscuits booze and tin of chocolates. Was doing some cleaning years ago for DS and under the sink behind the dishwasher tablets and floor cleaners were all the still boxed saucepans and frying pans set I'd spent £140 on for Xmas 4 years before. Didn't say anything but have given money ever since. I found it quite upsetting but then thought obviously their choice wasn't the same as mine.

My youngest son has invited me to join them on their holiday to Spain, all expenses paid. The problem is , I’m really not up to it. I’ve reached the age when I just would like to stay at home, have a little daily walk (when possible), go on my iPad, drink endless cups of tea. A few years ago, I would have jumped at it. I have Osteoarhritis and Bronchiectasis. Hanging around airports 😫 They know I love being with the grandchildren, but …..

I have a friend who re gifts me things that she has bought and never used or things she has been given but doesn't like, and tells me. I would rather I got a card and taken out for coffee. I know she hasn't got much, so I understand. Tricky!!

Here is a xmas present I would like to send.

M0nica

Everyone in our family files a sish list in early November, obviating the need to give presents to chairty because they are not wanted. Every gift a wanted gift!

Wise idea.

We do similar with our twin daughters. We speak about the topic. And it works out very well for us.

We do same with the gals and they provide the info for the 3 grandchildren.

This way there are no un-wanted gifts.